Can/should school tell other parents if there is a child with SN in the class?

[Pitchounette]

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They won't tell you if there is a child with sn. However, if this child gets a support worker then you will know there is a 'need'. The children need to follow the teachers direction for dealing with this child's aggression and from your post this seems to work. It is never too early to talk about children being different so your child can try and empathise. Some children are just socially immature and approach groups of children like a bull in a china shop inadvertently hurting them. With time they learn to be more socially capable. However, I am sure if this child needs to be 'statemented' appropriate support will be provided to him.

Does it matter whether or not his behavioural problems come with a label? Surely your responsibility as a parent is to teach your DC strategies for dealing with people of all types, and the school seems to be taking this approach too.

Whether this boy is aggressive because of something which would be labelled SN, or because of family problems or anything else is irrelevant.

The school's strategy - teaching the other children to ignore the behaviour - seems to be effective, and you should focus on reinforcing that message.

no, the school cannot tell other parents about a child's sn (or any other information for that matter).

If the strategies that the school have given the children seem to be working, then I would be inclined to leave it at that for now. And while telling a child to hit back might not be the preferred method of dealing with the issue, I can see (and I realize I might get flamed for this) why a parent might advise a child who is constantly being hit to hit back. As I said it's not right, but I can see how a parent might reach that point.

I wouldn't automatically assume the child has sn purely because he is violent. There is a very violent child in my ds' class, and he does not have sn, but he does have other issues at home which do contribute to the way he behaves.

Perhaps you could befriend this child's mum at the school gate? After all if her child is seen as the troublemaker, she might appreciate a friend.

It is entirely possible that no one yet knows if this child has SN or not. He could be being assessed.
I would hope that if it were my son the school would not be discussing him with parents ( especiallythe kind of fuck wits who tell their child to hit back).
But if it was my child, indeed when it was my child, I told the parents myself.

( although DS2 was not violent with anyone except me)

No they can't. He has a right to confidentiality (sp).

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this child's behavior must be quite bad though for children to be saying they don't want to go to school because of it?

If my child was being hit day after day without provokation I think I would be pretty annoyed about it tbh.

And even if a child does have sn which means they have violent tendencies, the school have a duty to all the children, and that includes taking steps to ensure this violent child is not allowed to hurt other children.

The parents of the other children have every right to demand their children are protected from this child whether he has sn or not.

If he does have sn that will merely offer an explanation for the behavior, but the behavior still needs to be managed in order to ensure the safety of all the children in that class.

Well, the school have to balance up supporting this specific child, with their responsibility to all the other children - if my child was being hit regularly, and said he didn't want to go to school because of it, then I'd be going in and demanding that the school find ways of keeping my child safe and reasonably happy. I can feel tons of empathy for a child who has problems, and for his family, but that doesn't mean I'd be happy for my own child to be treated as a punchbag.

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Confidentiality was the reason why this dinner ldy got fired ...

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I think it would be fair for you to ask for a meeting with the teacher, tell her about your DS not wanting to go to school, and ask how you can help to support the school's strategy for this situation. That doesn't have to involve her telling you anything confidential, just for her to say "We've asked the children to do such-and-such if there is a problem", which isn't "confidential" since they've said it to the children anyway. At least that way you'd know what you're supposed to be encouraging, and the teacher knows that there's a wider issue.

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Being the mum of two dc with SEN and my ds being the one that parents petitioned to have removed from the school
I would ask you to befriend this boy and his mum it's very lonely in the playground being the mum of the "naughty boy"
My ds had a statement and so full time 1 to 1 support which the school were misusing allowing ds to hurt any child in throwing distance.
Until 1 child's mum actually spoke to me and I explained the situation and she was able to tell me 1 to 1 was elsewhere (my son couldn't talk) then no action was taken . When we went together to demand the support was used properly or we would inform the LEA then everything changed and ds hurt no one else because the support that had been provided because of his needs and his dislike of children near him was used properly.
As for whether a school is allowed to mention whether or not a child has additional needs my dd's LSA would say "I work with L" but wouldn't nor would I want her to disclose details of dd's difficulties (autism) DS attends an autism resource now so that tells everyone what his needs are anyway