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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

My son had his first invite to a party- the child in question has a website dedicated to the day. Is this normal party ettiquette for a 5 year old?

101 replies

DrSpaceman · 21/09/2009 16:41

They barely know each other as they have only just started school.

The website is really sweet but I can't help but feel horrified at how slick it is. There is a family profile, a wish list of presents, the games they will play and what the day will consist of and photos of the previous years photos with cake etc.

I was hoping my ds could have a few friends round for tea with lots of coloured food and some donkey tail pinning.

I am a novice at this and look to the vipers and their wisdom to put me right on all matters normal/crazy with this schooling lark.

I have namechanged as I suspected supermum may be a mumsnetter/Fly type

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ingles2 · 21/09/2009 21:48

Nah, they didn't QS. The 5yr old might have been interested for all of ooo...5 mins, but you know that mum/dad were there for hours

Hassled · 21/09/2009 21:52

Have the other parents reacted with the same sort of bemused astonishment or is this normal for Surrey?

Highlander · 21/09/2009 21:57

they are very wierd people. A wish list. That alone makes me want to puke.

BTW ladies, I got a pinata for DS's 5th b/day party (at home, my first time). The look on their little faces when they were actually allowed to beat the hell out of something and get sweets as the fruit of their violence........... priceless

Smithagain · 21/09/2009 22:49

Not normal for this part of Surrey.

Bizarre idea, but I do feel we must take their hats off them for finding the time and energy with four children!

(Thinks guilty thoughts about DD2's very small birthday party, cobbled together at last minute by worn out, jaded mummy )

CatherineofMumbles · 21/09/2009 23:05

have not yet read teh whole thread but this seems untterly bizarre v- have never heard of it - a worrying trend....

pigsinmud · 22/09/2009 09:11

Just make sure you either don't give a present or get something that's not on the list. How repulsive - a list for a child's party.

colditz · 22/09/2009 09:26

This is nuts and clearly mummy needs to go back to work.

I mean really..... What a TWAT!

EvilEdnasTwinSister · 22/09/2009 09:33

Hahahahahaha how totally OTT.

Never even heard of it til I read this

TokenFemale · 22/09/2009 09:34

He'll probably end up with everyone buying the exact same gift from the list

twirlymum · 22/09/2009 09:36

In our school, it's normal to invite the whole class in reception/yr 1, as they don't have established friends at that age. DD's birthday in in the winter, so that meant we hired a small hall. Much easier than at home!
DH is in design, so each child got a chocolate bar and bubbles with a personalised cover (with dd's picture and the date, and a few jokes). Took him about five mins, but I wonder now if other parents thought it was a bit OTT......

To be honest, I think a wish list is ok, he hasn't specified exact toys, just the type of thing he is into. I would not have a clue what to buy a young boy, as I have limited experience with boys of that age, so I would end up asking anyway.

Builde · 22/09/2009 09:45

It sounds very much over the top, but in reception I believe that many children have parties that rival a wedding reception.

I think that parents worry that there children will have no friends if they don't invite everyone to a party.

My dd's school doesn't have a party culture because most of the parents are not well off and couldn't afford to spend even 20quid on a party.

So, the children do a variety of things such as sending in a birthday cake for the whole class, inviting one person round to tea, having a few friends round. We invited about 7 children round and said 'no presents' because I don't like expecting parents to have to buy presents they can't really afford.

From my experience, these whole class parties are quite intimidating for four year olds.

(The idea of a present wish list is awful!!)

UnquietDad · 22/09/2009 10:23

The List is demented. I mean, when we get an invitation one of us might ask the mum or dad at the school gate "what kind of thing does J like" or "is there anything B wants particularly", but honestly, a LIST!!

Is he worried he is going to get sixteen John Lewis toast-racks or a dozen fruit-bowls?!

Original poster

DrSpaceman · 22/09/2009 10:29

I am going to hell for starting this thread!

I spoke to his mum this morning for the first time and mentioned how much I liked the website (I do) and she told me her eldest child had designed it and was hoping to use it as a school project, I don't know if her dH runs or owns a graphics company(I didn't want to be too nosy but was dying to ask!) but he helped on it also and the printing happened at his work.

She does seem terribly nice and friendly, I feel awful, she looked a bit embarrassed about it and I really don't think that it was put on.

I am going to buy some holy water and bathe in it.

I have been on Mumsnet too long.

OP posts:

gorionine · 22/09/2009 10:45

Can I go against the grain?

I think it is very unusual but sometimes I wish we could get a wish list before parties (as long as gifts arent OTT in price that is).

I think what must have happened there, is that they wanted to do somthing a bit special and all the family pinched in with ideas. The result is a bit OTT maybe, but not surely it is not a hanging offence to spoil the birthaday boy rotten? (and I speak as someone who is not into big birthday fuss).

Smithagain · 22/09/2009 11:33

Aw - DrSpaceman, I want to give the kid who designed it a bit hug now and shake all their hands for getting all carried away about little brother's birthday. I'm sure they now realise it looks a bit poncy, and have decided to hell with it, let's do it anyway

Original poster

DrSpaceman · 22/09/2009 11:35

I cannot believe a 14 year old could do such a thing, what are they teaching them in schools. To be a student now hey?

OP posts:

Smithagain · 22/09/2009 12:58

I know a couple of 13 year olds, who are more than capable of doing such a thing!!!

Also, they might have used something like this

ben5 · 22/09/2009 13:03

if it was on the computer i would of missed it as crap with computer things!! invites on paper followed up by asking people if they can come or not. pin the tail on the donkey,what a great game

thedolly · 22/09/2009 13:18

DrSpaceman I was going to suggest that it may have been done by an older sibling.

My DD(8) has 'designed' a powerpoint presentation for her DB who is soon to be 6. It's like a promotional video for the science museum .

devotion · 23/09/2009 11:33

DrSpaceman - dont worry most of us thought the same as you at first.

The fact she was a bit embarassed makes me wonder if others commented on it to her and so they decided to say their son done it?

Because most people would be quite proud of their sons achievement and tell people in the email when they sent it out like, "Please see link that our son designed for his brothers birthday...." - dont you think? Especially if her partner does that sort of thing, he would not want people thinking he done something his son designed?

Oh dear I've been on here too long also, anymore room on the bus to hell.

Forgive me lord for I have sinned..........

barbarianoftheuniverse · 23/09/2009 11:47

And I was moaning about a day off school shopping with mum's credit card. I don't know I'm born.

Dr Spaceman, since you are planning a party after my own heart you might like to know that the best party entertainment I ever provided was ring doughnuts hung from the washing line.

sereka · 23/09/2009 11:50

A bit OTT,, but this would be completely normal in America.

however maybe the parents work in the IT feild....also you can get a website done for very cheap these days. so this might just be a little clever bit of fun

stealthsquiggle · 23/09/2009 11:57

Telepathy. It explains everything. That must be what DD's nursery use, and would explain why, despite abundance of contact information, I have yet to have a single reply for her party a week after taking invitations in .

Where do I get the required upgrade so that I know whether DD will have some, all, or none of the friends she carefully chose there, or if she will have to settle for the DC of my friends?

dilemma456 · 23/09/2009 14:03

Message withdrawn

womblingfree · 23/09/2009 23:44

I have sneaky admiration for their originality, but otherwise think it's a bit bonkers (although not so bad if it was older sibling's project).

I'm with devotion - we always have parties at home for DD (5). Dh takes her out for the morning and her godmother and her teenage daughter come round and help me get everything sorted.

We must have got into double figures with the number of parties she's been to this year and we are the only ones to have had a DIY party at home - all the others have been at venues and/or with entertainers/soft play etc.

Frankly I'd rather spend the money on DD than 30 kids I don't know. We have a max of 12 per party which is more than enough!

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