"Some rings very true for me, from what I know from friends with small children in Prep schools. Sunday is often 'homework' day where literally hours are spent on school work and 'improving' skills. "
My DD is in prep school, just gone into Y3. They currently get 10-20 minutes homework a night, and same amount over weeend. This will increase over the next three years but never to that extent. I know of knoone higher doing full days, unless they are in the few weeks run up to the entrance exams in Y6. And TBH children in the state and private secor will eb the same if they are doing entrance exams or 11+ exams.
"From the state sector (which I am more familiar with) I have to say that the more involved you are with the school the more 'remembered' you child is by the staff it seems. "
This is true of any school, especially in those classes were there are many children in the class. Infact I think this is true in most areas of life - the more you shout, the more you are heard, the more you are known.
"My son is in a UK prep school. I am sorry to say that despite the enormous fees and the fact that the school only employs teachers who have graduated with honours in a BA ed, there are many children who still struggle, approx 2/3. "
If this was the case in my DD's school (which it most certainly is not) I would not be happy, regardless of state or private sector. I would be wanting to knwow what the inspecion reports said about it and how the school were working on it. TBH though if it was that bad I may well be looking elsewhere.
"Parents have to get on board to get value for money - and that is incredibly difficult for families where both parents work. It is a common cry from parents that they are paying the school to educate their child whilst the parent goes to work to pay for that service. "
School shoudl always be a three way deal between teacher, child and parent. Parents in all sectors ought to be supporting and helping This doesn't have to mean going into school. Parents in the state sector work too you know!
"They do not expect to have to home tutor themselves or worse, pay extra for a specialist to do it. "
Again, no parent should have to pay for a tutor. All schools, regardless of sector, should be offering pupils the right level of education and support where required too.
"From the teachers point of view, the fees the parents are paying serves no bearing on quality of education - in other words, the teacher doesn't go to work and consciously think about giving that child value for money. He or she has an extended workload with the expectation to take on a sports team, be available on Saturdays for school matches, available in the evenings for the functions put on by the school - information evenings etc."
The teachers should not be thinking of the fees being paid. They should be providing a good level of education regardless of this, and again it should be the same in both sectors. Teachers in all sectors have such extended workloads; it is not just those in private schools. However if you feel you are not getting value for money (be it in fees or in taxes) then it should be flagged up and, as aI said before, I would be wanting to know what was happening to address the issues and if necessary looking elsewhere for my child.
"At the school my son goes to, the classes are divided into specific sets in year 7. A little analysis of the class list shows that the children in the top set belong to parents whereby only one of them works, and the children in the bottom set belong to parents who both work. A generalisation certainly, but I know the kids and the parents so I know this to be true."
Our prep only goes up to Y6, s can't comment on Y7 and above. So you truely think that the school teachers go to the hassle of finding out which parents work and don't work, and plan all their groupings according to that, and set all their work according to who has a SAHP or not? I can honestly say that this is definitely not the case in DD's school, nor any other school I have worked in or know of.
"The parents of the children in the top set make no secret of how much they help at home, setting mini exams for their child on a regular basis and gradually gaining extensive knowledge of the very intensive curriculum. "
Hey, if that is what their parents want to do, so be it. I'd feel sorry for the child being forced to do it. But at least the parents are involved in their education I guess. The tests and exams are but no problem wih encouraging your child to find out more about their school topics. Oh, and again - happens in both sectors!
"On that note, the curriculum in private independent schools is about 3 years ahead of the state school system, so a child in year 7 is learning in chemisty the same as a year 10 at a state school.)These parents know that if they didn't do that, their child would struggle like the others. The point here is that it is not about an inherent intelligence, it is about who is getting the extra attention."
You know a lot about the other parents! If the school curriculum is 3 years ahead but children are struggling this should have been picked up on in inspections or through complaints from parents. As stated earlier when you mentioned the struggling numbers - investigate, ask questions, etc...
"To add more fuel to the fire, many independent schools are run like commercial businesses with Headmasters behave like Prime Ministers of the micro community. Children are not rejected for admission as each child's fees are necessary to run 'the business', but certainly if a child is not meeting the standard and it appears obvious that the school will not be able to find placement for that child in a senior school, it is 'suggested' they leave before Common Entrance exams. There are always many on the waiting list to take that childs place and keep the ledger balanced."
Independent schools are a business, albeit many are non profit making businesses. They do need fees and they should use those fees to provide their children with a good education, both academically, emotionally, etc. Those struggling with to complete the entrance exams are sometimes talked to to decide if it is the right way forward for them. However, in DD's school these children are definitely not asked to leave befre completeing their full time at the school. I can't answer for others as I don't know.
"And although children are not rejected at admission stage, the children that are favoured once in the system, are those that get involved in all the activities on offer, those who have parents who will help on the PTA, those who excel academically (because the parents are helping of course). IN other words, those that make the school look good. "
Parental involvement is always going to go down well with all schools, regardless of sector.
"It is a bit like knowing how to play the game. I might sound a little bitter and sometimes I am. My son is one in the top set and I know how much time I spend with her explaining algebra and chemical reactions. I complained once to the school about why I should need to do this and let's just say I wish I hadn't. My son's education is important to me and so I guess I will keep doing it. Pay up and shut up."
Your choice to pay up and shut up. But not a stance I ould take You do seem bitter and tit does make me wonder why you keep your child at a school you so obviously thing is not a good school.
"Finally though, my son absolutely loves his school and will leave for senior school with many fantastic memories and wonderful friends. "
Maybe this is why you keep in here. But at what expense???