I think I've made a bad mistake

[susia]

long story...basically 2 years ago my son didn't get into any of our local primary schools, was offered a school in special measures nearly 2 miles away. He stayed on the waiting list all summer for all three schools and I appealed etc but didn't get anywhere.

My parents then offered for him to go to a private school, this was not what I wanted because he is an only child and I am a single mother and I wanted him to get to know children locally and to have a good social life, the local schools are all very good (hence oversubscribed) etc.

2 years down the line, he has been very happy at the (tiny) private school, but has found reading very difficult. Many children have left this school over the 2 years from his year (his class has gone from 18 to 10 - due to moving away). This has really worried me as I feel that moving eventually from this school to a comprehensive would be very hard.

Anyway, 2 years down the line he was finally offered a place at our local (outstanding) state school. Because of the numbers who have left the private school, because it was not what I originally wanted and because of the social aspect I moved him last week.

Now though I am suddenly doubting my decision. I am worried that as he is struggling so much he would be better where he was in a tiny, more academic school than in a bigger one where everything is new. I feel that I have put his education below his and my theoretical social life which may not materialize.

I am tying myself up in knots about it - it's not too late to move him back. I just don't know what to do.

On the one hand the private school would push him much harder in terms of homework etc which is probably not the best for someone struggling, on the other he was happy and settled and may well do better from it. and all my reasons seem a bit pointless now.

I'd leave him in the state school and maybe use the money saved on school fees to get a home tutor if he really needs help, but as others have said, with regards to his reading, it may all just fall into place one day, he's still only little. He'll be fine

Why not give it at least until half-term? FWIW - I didn't got to a local school and always feel like I suffered socially - particularly during school holidays etc.

Firstly, I think your reasons for moving him were genuine, and important. Social well being (especially at his age) is important, and so is his mother's happiness - not to be underestimated.

Secondly, I agree with all who've said wait and see for a bit...if it really doesn't work out, you can go back to the pre-prep. But the first couple of weeks are always uncertain waters, and he may do just as well - or even better - in a bigger class, as long as he gets 1-1 support. Sometimes, if one is struggling, its better to have company and not feel like the only one.

I read with dd's Y1 class (small state school) and there is a huge mix of reading levels, not linked to intelligence at all, or aptitude in other subjects - it could just be too soon for your ds to 'get it'.

I always second-guess my decisions, so totally symapthize - but give it time. I bet he'll be fine

having been happy the first week, my son is now miserably unhappy, says he has no friends etc. I am not all impressed with after school club which seems chaotic and my son seemed to be picked on and laughed at by older children. I know it is early days but how long do I leave it?

Well I wouldn't leave it another day personally, he hasn't really been there long enough to make any friends so take that out of the matter for now. The after school club needs to be decent, plus he's probably 2 years ahead of his peers, it's almost impossible to move between state and private without everything getting repeated on both sides.
My children did reception, year1 at private, moved to state for year 1 to year 4 where she basically sat reading a book for three years, has now gone back to private but will have to go to the local grammar I think where in year 7 she'll do all the work she's done in year 5 again (but at least she'll be top of the class I hope).
It's a nightmare if you don't have to move house and can afford to stay private it'll be the best money you ever spend IMO.

Afraid I don't agree. You need to give it a bit longer and in my opinion 10 in a class is too small. I would be very worried about the falling roll in the prep school. You made a decision about the long term schooling for your child. Don't make a quick decision now that you regret later. Keep supporting your child and keep talking to the new school/after school club so that these initial problems can be overcome.

That'll teach me I didn't see the bit about 10 children in the class at prep school.
Personally I'd find another prep school, the one my DC's started at had a similar problem in that all the other children were passing through from other european countries. We've now got them in a prep where all the children are local and it's made a world of difference, eldest smiles and holds her head now which after 3 years of being sad makes me feel awful we gave it a chance and worked with the school for too long.