Can you do anything if your DS is just very unpopular and considered wierd and boring by his peers?

[helplessmummy]

Please come and cheer me up. I'm a regular but have changed my name for this because I once shared something similar to this on a thread and a week later someone used it to attack me on another totally unrelated thread which unaccountably depressed me. I am so sad about this that I just don't want to have to deal with that sort of behaviour hence the probably unnecessary namechange, but there you go.

This is what he said, which gives the lie of the land: "When J tells a joke, everyone laughs and says how funny but if I told the same joke, they'd say gaylord or wierdo or something - even it's the same joke!"

The fact is, they just don't like him.

Reasons he states: "because I've got ginger hair and a lisp". But I don't think children are actively disliked for those reasons, it's things to pick on if you already dislike someone. He's 10 btw. Any advice?

My son was like this: very sensitive. He has a younger sister. He has found life easier over the years but I have actually asked our GP to refer him for counselling because I would like to know he is as well adapted as possible to potential teasing and bullying by the time he changes school at 13.

He is very imaginative but tends to say what comes into his head without editing and sometimes it doesn't make much sense, or is just plain wrong. It's sometimes intended to sound funny or whimsical but can just be annoying and some boys find this very provoking.

He's found some tolerant friends and he does have the advantage of being quite a kind boy. And he likes sport, which has been a help.

my son has similar difficulties-the consultant psychologist said he has AS characteristics but not severe enough for an AS diagnosis. he has always been "weird" and has NEVER had a friend-let alone a best one.I used to cry buckets when it was his birthday party-he had no-one to invite, the children who came were sons of my friends. At primary school he was teased relentlessly, books put down the toilet etc and even when he changed school he had difficulties ( I was a teacher there and being the son of a teacher at the school is not fun ) He is now 15 and still has no friends ( he has never had anyone from school home or been on a visit to anyone elses house) but is happy the way he is. He too prefers either to be alone or with adults. Things are getting easier-or perhaps we just cope better

My nephew also falls into this category, primarymum. He is nearly 15. The one thing that has really helped him is that he is fantastically gifted with computers. This has been a serious morale boost. He is also very keen on hiking (they live in Australia) and this means that he can get some companionship with other boys.

He is a delight in adult company: witty and droll. I love talking to him and think he'll come into his own once he is in the sixth form and the other children catch on to how great he is.

primarymum and abra1d - I take some comfort from your posts, knowing that they can indeed 'grow into themselves' if you see what I mean.

Unfortunately, whilst I don't think my DS does have AS, just some characteristics, what I do think he has is dyspraxia which means he is rubbish as sport. It makes it hard to find any common ground with other boys.

My DH also had trouble making friends at school but he was great at sport and I think it makes a difference.

Niecie - I suspect my DS has dyspraxic tendencies as well, so he's also bad at sport - do you know how if schools can test for this?

Niecie- my son has dyspraxia too! There was a dyspraxia support group in his primary school but he refused to attend as he said it was for children with problems and he didn't think he had any, he was just different!

Shock update - he has just phoned home to say that he will be late as he is staying for an after school club! This is the first club he has EVER attended ( of ANY description) I didn't know what to say