teachers - explain to me why dd's school is desperate to get me out of that classroom

[jamsandwich]

dd starts reception on Monday.

She has selective mutism, didn't speak at all at nursery, fine at home. All seemed to be going very well in the planning for school - we'd identified the problem, got home visits from school, spent time in the empty classroom, made some friends with other children, done lots of talking it up and dd has become very excited about the whole thing (was vehemently against it a few months ago).

And a key part of my strategy was agreed early on by the teacher; that I could be flexible about when I left her each day. Not for the usual separation reasons, but because when I am there, she finds it easier to speak and managed this incredibly well during the settling in sessions. So the idea is that by me being available for a while each morning, I could get her relaxed, warmed up and communicative before leaving her to it. This is like an informal version of the "sliding in" approach that is used for SM kids.

But school suddenly seemed to wobble over this in last week of term and I've been left all this time not really being sure what is expected of me next week or why it is such a big deal for me to be in class a bit. I can see how it could be disruptive with older children, in an established group with a lot of work to get through - but the first few weeks of reception?!

I think that because they did see her speaking during the settling in, they think I have been exaggerating the problem. But she only managed this because I was there and we need to build on this now...

Help me understand please and does anyone have any suggestions for how I can get around this? If I do just leave her to it, she'll almost certainly regain her "silent identity" making it then much harder for her to ever start to speak there.

Hi wasuup. I know you're very active on SMIRA - feels very depressing that someone as active, sensible and clued up as you obviously are also struggling with getting school to act. I don't remember choosing to retrain as an SM expert, but it seems that this is the way we all have to go!

Yes, SENCO's do go to local groups. I used to go once every half term (am no longer SENCO though). Should imagine most LEA's run groups like this. However, you are not compelled to go...

SM seems to provide quite particular problems for teachers. Firstly, and thankfully, it is not a SEN that you come across very frequently (IME). Many teachers seem to feel threated by an SM child...they want to be able to 'fix' the 'problem' as quickly as they can, SENCO's included!

I agree that you should request a meeting with SENCO and class teacher to plan the way forward. I would offer a some printed info but try to make this the bare minimum. If they are already somewhat resistant a sheaf of paper will probably go unread- one sheet of A4 may well be read or at least skimmed.

I'm sorry, I haven't really answered your question. Also, I am far from an expert in the SM field...we just followed our noses, read relevant info and eventually stumbled on a rather bizarre solution, quite out of the blue!!

And to speak to an adult so early on must be hugely encouraging. Great that she's still enjoying it so much!

I know Jamsandwich what you mean but we have to be our children's voices. There is hope- the Government does include SM in its training packages-I think it comes under Dyslexia and SM? 2011 will be The Year of Speech, Language and Communication where awareness of ALL Speech and Language issues will be addressed. The Government has pledged that ANY school judged to be failing ANY child with SEN even outstanding schools will be assessed by OFSTED as a failing school (or words to that effect).
When my little girl was young and I started to realize that maybe this was more than shyness-I tried to find out what I could. I found an American website which in those days was a bit all over the place with its content some of it not relevant to the UK. It was also called Elective Mutism on some info which was confusing. There wasn't much info at all easily accessible on the net.
I eventually found SMIRA (on their yahoo group) and Lindsay, Maggie and a few others helped me-so I offered to do a UK website so that SMIRA and their info/support was easier to find.
Even so with all the info I had- The EP we had at 1st was really inept which just confused matters. I won't go on to retell some of the comments my daughter received in the past from teachers who thought she was just attention seeking (she hates attention).
I have done all I can (radio interviews, articles, written to MP's and my local education authority are prob fed up with me by now too) now. I am lucky enough to meet a couple of knowledgeable professionals who really do care and want to help which at the end of the day whatever knowledge they have is unimportant-it's the caring and wanting to help which makes changes happen. It's just up to school now and you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink-yet (Lets see if Ed Balls stands by his ex DCFS under secretaries words!!)!!.
Infin the fact that you care and want to help will make all the difference-it will have a ripple effect I am sure!

hi all, just wandered back in to catch up, some fascinating info which I for one will be using in my workplace.