Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Just realized DD will be a year younger than most when she starts school - Help!

47 replies

ilovemydogandmrobama · 26/07/2009 09:51

Due to not understanding the British school system, have just been informed that DD will be 4 years old when she starts school.

She just turned 3, and was born in July, so will turn 5 in the academic year next year. 2010/2011

What have other people done? Am not sure she's ready for school in about a years time.

She will be going to pre school in September for the requisite 2.5 hours a day.

While I think she's ready for pre school, and extremely bright, she acts a bit young for her age. She asks children for cuddles, and wants to hold hands with children all the time.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

ilovemydogandmrobama · 26/07/2009 13:42

I really appreciate all the responses

Am trying not to be too PFB about it all but as numerous people have suggested, perhaps a staggered attendance could work as an option if she's getting too tired, or grumpy.

Suppose am surprised more than anything else that a child is able to start school at 4 years old, but as the more logical people point out, she will only be a few months younger than some, and at most, a full year.

Will speak to the head teachers of a few local schools tomorrow. A good excuse to call up a local primary (OFSTED outstanding and get her name down!)

OP posts:

Ponders · 26/07/2009 13:46

The gap between 3 & 4 is the same in proportion as the gap between 6 & 8 or 9 & 12; she will grow up a lot between now & then.

She will get tired (& probably crabby) with full days, especially after the October half-term - I'm sure when I started school, more years ago than I care to admit we still had a nap in the afternoon - but they do have Christmas to look forward, to which keeps them going.

Do you have the option to send her half-days only for the first few weeks?

cheekysealion · 26/07/2009 13:52

my dd was just 4 and in her first week some in her class turned 5
I really didnt want her to go but glad she did.

reception was hard for her and i wasnt prepared to push her.. she was exhausted and it was enough to just get her through a week at school without doing homework at the weekends aswell (so we didnt do it)

Year 1 has been great she has really come on loads.. still not as advanced as the others but she is happy at school which at the moment is important to me..

cheekysealion · 26/07/2009 13:53

and i hate to admit this but she was to tired to bike home so for the first few weeks i took her buggy and just had to ignore the stares

and she fell asleep as soon as we got home

Jux · 26/07/2009 14:06

DD (now nearly 10) has an August birthday. She had just turned 4 when she went into reception. There were children in her year who were going to be 5 almost as soon as they started - practically a year older than her. She managed perfectly well.

Don't worry, your lo might get very tired at first, but I suspect most of them do. The teacher will be aware of the age range and will understand if you don't do homework etc. but do try.

Good luck. It's very exciting.

sfxmum · 26/07/2009 14:15

my dd is June birthday and is about to start school in September, for the first trimester mornings only and then full time, I still think she is a baby really
but she has been at pre school since she was 3 first few months 2 mornings a week the 3
I think she will cope but be very tired

my nephew is a end of August birthday and did extremelly well academically but struggled to fit in, emotionally was very difficult for him

noideawhereIamgoing · 26/07/2009 15:11

My ds is a August child - he struggled with concentrating, socialising, fine motor skills and was completely exhausted by the end of school everyday - esp in Year 1 - school made no allowances for his summer birthday when reporting on his "performance" (or lack of).

We really could have done with holding him back a year - he was young for his age.

Things have got easier as he's got older but those first few years, where he was considered special needs and we were considered to be inadequate parents were very hard.

blithedance · 26/07/2009 15:52

We have a late-August boy here too. Various people have given me chapter and verse about the disadvantages and research about just-four year olds starting school. However it's nearly impossible (involving educational psychologists etc) to get a child to be completly moved down a year group. I was out of my year group in school: children are very aware of birthdays/ages and they do tease. Your choice is for them to join in their own year group but start later (if the school will keep place open).

I'd rather DS stays with his playgroup friends and starts school with everyone, than goes into an established group who have already covered half the year's work. But then Reception is almost indistinguishable from playgroup in our school.

Basically there is probably an average disadvantage but the temperament/development of the child and the attitude of the school have a big influence.

My biggest worry is that he will be labelled silly/naughty because he is just not as emotionally mature as some of the class but the teacher has promised me they get that every year and she will make allowances.

blithedance · 26/07/2009 15:57

Noidea - that's exactly what i was worried about and really it's in the school's control. We are lucky ours have a light touch - they let DS1 play in the sandpit for 2 terms of Reception as far as I can see and then were amazed he suddenly started to read and write once he'd had his 5th birthday.

petelly · 26/07/2009 16:26

I've a November girl who's just finishing reception so she is one of the older children.

Just wanted to say about the cuddling and kissing - my dd does that all the time to her friends and teachers!! We have had her teacher mention a few times that she tends to cuddle her friends at inappropriate times (i.e. during circle time!) and she can't quite get why other children aren't as tactile as she is - but nothing more serious than that.

I think it's a question of temperament and disposition rather than age (although hope she gets a bit more control over who and when she hugs by the time she gets to secondary school!).

primarymum · 26/07/2009 17:48

My son ( August birthday)spent his Reception year with his hands permanently in the water tray, he came home wizened and wrinkled! He refused to read or write and had a great time playing! At KS1 he was straight Level 3, Level 5 for KS2 and passed his 11+,is now in Grammar school and predicted straight A/A* for his GCSE's. So please don't worry, let your child enjoy Reception, play as much as she wants and hug all she likes!

Ponders · 26/07/2009 19:19

My July boy's only real problem in Reception was that all his friends from nursery school had September birthdays & were in a different class with the younger Y1s. As our school organises like that most of the way through he used to feel very left out & behave badly because of it - I'm sure he would have benefited from being in the year below, I wish our schools could be as flexible as those in other countries.

Academically though he was fine, like primarymum's (although his GCSEs were Bs, not As - he is a lazy sod)

FlamongoBongo · 26/07/2009 19:22

have you thought about home educating her? If not for good then at least until you think she's old enough to cope?

thatsnotmymonster · 26/07/2009 19:30

My dd is a July birthday- she has just turned 3. There is no way I would want her to start school next year and I doubt she would be ready for it. Luckily we live in Scotland so she won't start till the year after when she has just turned 5. In Scotland the cut off for starting school is the 28 Feb so when you start school you are between 4.5 and 5.5.

DS is 4.5 and won't start till next year when he is 5.5. He is very bright and I'm sure he would cope but he isn't really ready for it. He just wants to play and have fun at the moment and I'm more than happy that he is able to do that for another year!

seeker · 26/07/2009 20:20

Oh, and if any of you get a "daft-as-a-brush" reception teacher who insists on giving homework just don't do it. What are they going to do, shoot you??????

Doobydoo · 26/07/2009 20:24

Our ds1 is an end of August child.He will be 10 this August.I do worry about him going to secondary school.
We have mainly home edded him but he did go to school for a year when he was 5 and was fine.

noideawhereIamgoing · 26/07/2009 20:30

Unfortunately our school is pushy and critical....I was a very relaxed parent before my ds started there but it wasn't long before they made me feel otherwise.

Most kids who don't "come up to scratch" are being tutored from an early age to make up for their short comings - it's how the school achieves good SATS results - pressure on parents. So be warned - schools with good SATs results are not always good schools.

Runoutofideas · 27/07/2009 13:38

You don't have to start her until the term after she turns 5, however she would still go into the same year group, so be the youngest in Year 1 and miss reception completely. Wouldn't be my choice as she'll have missed out on all the social side of making friends in reception, as well as the educational aspects, but I just wanted to let you know that you can do that.
It may be worth checking with your LEA when you need to apply - just thinking that if you've only just realised that that's when she starts, you may not be fully informed about admission arrangements. In our area we had to apply last October for a place for my daughter who starts this Sept. I believe in most areas the LEA controls reception intake not the schools themselves, unless you are looking at independent or faith schools.

paddingtonbear1 · 27/07/2009 13:57

noidea - your experience sounds rather like ours with our dd. She has just finished yr 1, and would still be classed as 'behind'. Her old school were so critical and pushy that in the end we moved her to another local school where the results weren't as good, but the school ethos suits dd better.
It does depend on the child though. dd certainly wasn't ready for school at just over 4, and still struggles now. We will probably end up filling in the gaps ourselves. Plenty of other kids have no problems at all though.

primarymum · 27/07/2009 15:32

There is a potential problem with delaying your daughters start until Yr 1, the school might well be full by then. In our LA, if you refuse a place in Reception, there is no guarantee that a place will be available in yr 1 ( or indeed later in Reception if you want to start after they turn 5) If yours is a popular school that is usually full be aware of the potential downside!

hmc · 27/07/2009 15:45

My dd joined Year R in the September, 6 weeks after her 4th birtday (so a July child like yours)

Tbh she was behind with literacy for quite some time and has just caught up (by the end of Year 2 which has just finished)

But she did catch up, and tbh it hasn't been an insuperable problem. She loves school and lagging a little behind her peers for the first couple of years did not bother her in the slightest (it bothered me for a while!)

TigerFeet · 27/07/2009 16:00

My dd is also July born and a hand holder and a cuddler who sometimes seems very young for her age. She started reception last year aged 4.2. She did seem young, but then so did a lot of the other children, your dd won't be the only summer born in her year after all . She is behind many of the (slightly older) children in terms of reading and writing, but her teachers have taken her age into account. She hasn't been pushed to catch up by either ourselves or the school and I've been lax with reading and letter formation practice etc when she's been tired at home, with the knowledge and support of her teachers.

I did fleetingly consider keeping her in nursery until Y1 but she would have missed out on a lot of play and friend making had she not done her reception year.

Her school and dh & I are all confident that she will read and write when she's good and ready, and by the time she's 7 or so she'll have caught up with many of her cohort.

I do think it's a shame that they start so young in the UK but in all honesty I don't think it's done dd any damage at all. She has been sulking since the summer holidays started because she loves school and misses going.

Most of us worry, but most dc's are fine

Flip

1 2