racist incident, what should i do?

[1950smum]

my 7 year old son (mixed race) has just told me that last week one of his classmates refused to let him on a playground toy because he was black. Some y3 boys got an adult and the kid was sent to the headmistress' office, ordered to say sorry to my ds and make him a card.

What really concerns me is that the school didn't inform me about this and that this is not an isolated incident, my ds has told me before that this kid refuses to sit next to him at lunch time, but before i just put it down to my ds being new (we only moved to this rural area 6 weeks ago)
What should I do? Is it worth trying to talk to the head on the last day of term?

[Besom]

I think if I were you I would be inclined to talk to the school, but to leave it until the new term.

[savoycabbage]

I would talk to the school. They should have told you IMO. You should have been told as you should have been able to talk to your ds about what happened.

When my mixed race dd started school one of he other children kept saying he didn't want to sit next tp her because she was dirty. He said it on the very first morning and I heard him and I wanted to cry.

Anyway, (it was a very white area) I discovered that he actually thought that she was dirty - like muddy I suppose. I spoke to his Dad, a terrifying looking bouncer who was a lovely bloke and he talked to him and told her that my dd was brown because her Daddy was. Mind you these were four year olds.

The school were shit I have to say. Their answer to the race issue when she started was that they would be doing "Handa's Fruit" as a literacy topic. They didn't 'deal' with the situation at all.

[Merle]

I think you should talk to the school before the end of term, presumably today. You need to sort it out in some way today, not leave it until September. It will be on your mind all through the summer. The new term will have alot going on and now might be the best time to get the teacher's attention and for them to think about your views over the summer.

[SofiaAmes]

Oh how awful, your poor ds. I think you should speak to the school right away. Your ds needs to see you doing something about such terrible behavior, even if the school doesn't.

[1950smum]

well, what i've done is write a letter with all my concerns to the head asking that she brings it to the attention of his new teacher. I think the fact it is in writing might make her take it more seriously.

Lets just hope this isn't the start of a catalogue of letters and recorded incidents, eh!

[katiestar]

Savoycabbage.We had an incident like that at out playgroup where one little girl called a child of mixed race legs dirty because she thought they were muddy -ske had never come across anyone who wasn't white before.The pre-school made such a meal of it and reported it as racist abuse to the LEA.felt so sorry for the poor parents who were both doctors and so found it really embarassing

[smee]

Sadly sounds like it wasn't as Katiestar's example, but more seriously bigoted. But still, how lovely (in a horrible sort of way!) that the older boys sorted it. At least that must give you some heart doesn't it? Shows the other kids thought it was totally unacceptable, and also maybe that it's the overall school ethos that helped them to act that way.

[1950smum]

well, I've just had a word with the head, and she was lovely. She said that she didn't know about the other lunchtime incidents and that she would keep an eye on things next term.
Well, this explains why ds has been subdued and a bit regressive this week, bless him.
Smee-you're absolutely right!

[smee]

That's great news. Really hope it's just a blip then.