Do you feel you have to socialise with other parents for your children to have a good social life at school?

[BottySpottom]

Following on from a thread on here the other day (tips for Reception starters), I was surprised to see someone write that you should make a big effort with other parents as your child's social life will depend on them for many years.

Do you really feel this is the case? Part of me thinks that they will befriend who they want - another tiny part thinks that maybe if they are thrown together with other children at week-ends etc, they will get on with those children better.

Agree with Oblomov a few posts back - try your hardest never to fall out with anyone at the school gates! The fallout can be really nasty. (We have a couple of warring parents at school)

I try to smile at everyone, be as sociable as possible, but not get too involved. I find it a bit claustrophobic at times!

I find that there are generally only a few parents in each year that I really am "friends" with - and often they are not the parents of my dc's friends, just people I get on well with. It does help to be generally friendly and chatty with everyone, in terms of making everyone's lives easier - so it's easy to arrange lift shares to parties, emergency childcare if you can't pick up from school, etc.

I do think that sometimes you need to make more of an effort if one of your children is not naturally sociable - they are probably more likely to get invited to tea & parties if you invite others around too.

And it is more difficult to casually invite a child around to tea if the parent is never there or is very stand-offish (imo). So it is less likely to happen...

I dont have many friends in the area and am glad there are mums at school who want to chat and be freindly.

I agree about not falling out; I have fallen out with other school-gate mums & it's had nasty knock-on effects for years.

That is good advice about not falling out. I can have a quick temper and a sharp tongue. I know this and so I keep myself in check. But experience has taught me that it only takes a momentary lapse to have long-lasting repercussions.

I don't think so. My son plays with who he wants to.

I have made a lot of friends since my son started in reception but I don't think it has changed who he plays with! However, I wouldn't be that keen on him going round to someones house who I didn't know at such a young age. I do tend to avoid the 'playdate' scene a bit though (have done them) preferring to take him to the local park where a lot of his friends are after school or swimming.

My advice would be to try and get to know as many of the mums as possible - it is nice to know who everyone is and have a chat. Some of the mums will almost certainly become more than passing friends. This did take time though!