Meeting with HT about Attendance? Terrified.

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I've just started a fight with the HT about their promotion of some home study company.

Straight back comes an email defending her position to the hilt, then going on to say:

'On a different matter, we have just completed our statutory attendance
monitorng and I would like to meet with you to discuss some concerns I
have regarding Ds1's attendance. I would be grateful if you could pop
into the school office and make an appointment to meet with me some next
next week.'

I'm by this as he has had a few days off for illness but there are other families taking their kids to other countries, dancing on fricking ice, all during term time, openly and without authorisation.

Is she just trying to put the frighteners on me or is there anything she can throw at me? We lost a school place last year because they bullied me into withdrawing him as he was doing part time and they didn't like it. I didn't know then that I could have fought for the place rather than just got our coats, as it were, and now I am having flashbacks and am terrified it'll happen again.

Thanks if anyone has any insight into attendance requirements...I thought you just kept them off if they were poorly, silly me I suppose

Cross posts - that's quite a good idea NL, thanks - although I know if I do go, I won't be able just to sit there quietly and listen, I'll want to defend him/me.

I'm definitely not taking ds2 any which way.

So maybe an email back saying she can see me the week after but if it's urgent she'll have to write?

I would advise you to ring Parent Partnership - they will send a completely independ individual to sit in the meeting with you and will take notes. I know think it is an organisation which is recognised by the schools and they cannot refuse to permit them to attend the meeting (some schools can refuse to allow friends to come to meeting - they will use the arguement about confidentuality)

PLus it has the advantage that I suspect the individual they send will know what the law states and if she is just being arsey it will stop her in her tracks!

OR you could go in and point out it is rather suspicious that she takes up ds's attendance just as you are objecting to a dodgy home study company ripping off parents...

Your reasons for not having a meeting are a poor excuse and will come across as such. The HT will have a meeting with a parent who has a child in tow every day. As mentioned, don't ask about other poor attenders - for all you know they have been dealt with in the same way. Do what other posters have suggested and, if your ds's attendance is as ood as you say, then she has nothing to 'frighten' you with. Good luck!

Thanks all and LOL at Edam

Parent partnership sounds great, but I kind of don't want to bring in the big guns (as she will see it) unless/until really necessary. I weill bear them in mind though in case it all goes tits up.

I have sent this:

Hello,

I understand that attendance is an important issue although I cannot
understand where we have gone wrong with this - I have been careful to
ensure that Ds is present whenever he is well, even when he is not
altogether happy to come into school. I have only kept him at home when he
has been unwell and I am prepared to confirm this with the LEA if they
require me to. Short of sending him to school ill I don't see how the
situation could have been handled differently.

Had you concerns earlier in the year I am wondering why I was not informed
of these by letter as I understand this is standard procedure.
If your concerns are very recent then I would appreciate a letter stating
the problem as you see it and stating what you require me to do about it. I
am usually happy to provide necessary information to you when requested.

As I said I do not have childcare next week due to my parents being on
holiday, and I don't like to attend meetings with my children present as I
find it too distracting.

However if you do wish to put your concerns into a letter I will answer it
without delay and hope I can assist you in rectifying any issues that may
have arisen regarding Ds's attendance.

Regards

What do you think? I'm really fed up with the teachers asking me to come in when one or both of the children is present - they know it means I can't concentrate. So I'm not going to fall for it again.

I'll no doubt get an arsy letter now but at least she'll have to make it official rather than being a big bully on her own terms. I might be foolish making her do that but I feel totally powerless whatever I do tbh.

Not suspisious at all to want to see you about your child's attendence. Its standard procedure. They've probably just doen attenence print outs for end of year reports and its been highlighted as below 90 percent. Schools are bound by LA guidelines and policies in these matters. She'll probably say "Your child's attendence falls below LA target, are you aware of this?" You'll say "Yes, he's been ill." She'll record it so the LA know she's followed it up and that will be that. We often have such meetings. Last week's cough and cold have probably tipped him over if its not been flagged up at report printout time.

Thanks LBM, that helps me feel better - however I sense (and I may be wrong - no, I'm not ) that she is using it to make me anxious and assert her authority which has of course been challenged by my attack on the SSC rubbish. If it were a normal thing I very much doubt she would have mentioned it in am email responding to that.

I have to try and keep cool, or she will know I am nervous about it all. I think she already does actually. Gosh I hate that woman.

If your child is only part attending, check they haven't calculated the attendance using the no of days for full time attendance. I bet they have done this calc days X in/5no weeks instead of days X in/y days/week week

Just seen my spelling in last post and am In my defence I was scoffing biscuits at the time.

I'm surprised that HT is bothering to talk to you personally about this - when DS attendance was about 82% (measles and a few tummy bugs in one term!!!) I got a snotty letter from EWO but no HT contact.

No worries LBM I am too tired to notice!!

DEM no, he did part time last year at his old school - at this school he has been full time from the off, straight into year one after October half term.

Never mind...will see what she says. I think she knows I know there's no big deal now and I did apologise for my semi accusatory tone in my initial email about the SSC. not that I was out of line, but hey...I think she likes being grovelled to.

Hi TotalChaos - well, it does seem a bit odd in that case - best form of defence being attack and all that.

It'll blow over by next week I expect. The other staff are generally lovely. But a lot of us struggle with the HT.

I don't understand how HT's have the time to speak to every single parent whose kid's attendance has fallen below a certain level as a first port of call.

After one letter and more problems, yes, but as an initial process? Ineffective time management imo.

Yes I think there would be a big queue if she did that!

Thanks everyone for your good advice.

Hiya, just wanted to update.

She cornered me in the playground today and again suggested a meeting, so I told her that although she was happy to have my toddler present, I was not as it was too distracting.

I asked her what the problem was.

She put her hand on my arm and told me not to 'worry' but that she had to answer to the LEA and ds was one of the children whose attendance fell below the required percentage. I said 'Oh does it have to be 80%' and she said 'actually 95%' again.

I said well these is no way we could keep up with that. She said all we will do is go through all the (something) and work out whether any help is needed.

I told her we are very careful not to keep him at home unless he is ill. It just went over her head and she has said we'll meet next week instead when I have childcare.

So what is she expecting? Me to admit I have been keeping him off to help with the market stall or somesuch nonsense? I don't understand. However I guess it might give me some insight into what their motives really are.

Reminds me very strongly of dd's old headteacher who would bring her attendance up every time I complained about their appalling way of handling disabled access.

It will probably help if you do try to find somebody to babysit your toddler and do go in. Also, I would be proactive and ring the EWO and explain that your ds has been ill. I found our first EWO very helpful in this situation.

Ah sounds v familiar Cory, sorry you had one of these to deal with as well.

I'm really angry now - she told me this morning that one of the things that had come up was that ds had had several thursdays and fridays off in succession meaning of course that we are regularly taking long weekends to Barbados, naturally.

I said I had no idea what days of the week he had had off.

I asked her if she had had my email (sent last week, directly in reply to hers) and she said no, so I asked her again to put it all in writing so that I have a record of what exactly she is on about. She agreed to send me his attendance record.

I'm not good in meetings. She knows this I am sure and it is going to be a case of 'let's have a little chat' as a euphemism for 'I am going to bully you into submission using tried and tested tactics and you will go away feeling violated and angry because I have not listened to a word you have said and I am in Charge'.

Maybe I will take my mother or a small tape recorder.

I just spoke to the EWO actually (thanksfor the tip!) who reassured me that she had recently been into the school and I was definitely not being referred to her, so it was probably just that the 'pattern' looked suspect and the HT needed to establish that there wasn't any other reason.

She said that there was a possibility I'd need to prove absences were genuine in future, ie with a Drs note or appointment card etc, but thatw as all really. So that means taking ds to the GP even if it's entirely unnecessary. Great.

I am so sick of being 'accused' of something which I am not guilty of. It almost makes me want to HE again.
Sorry to vent