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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Son is in Year R - won't practise reading etc at home ... help!

13 replies

MummyDragon · 05/05/2009 18:49

Hi Mumsnet,

I am new at this so I hope I am obeying the rules of posting on here! Please bear with me ...

My son is 4 (he'll be 5 in June) and is in Reception year at school. His teacher says that he is doing "fine" with literacy and that he is "at the required level for his age." However, no matter how many times I ask her, she will not elaborate or give examples of this. My problem is that the school requires the children to practise their phonics (letters, digraphs and LOADS of words) at home every night BUT I am utterly unable to get my son to do this. He just shrugs, giggles, gets upset or runs away (sometimes all 4).

I have raised this with the teacher on 3 separate occasions and all she is able to say is, "he's doing fine at school, don't worry, why not make his learning at home fun? He a summer birthday boy, they are all like this ..."

My answer to this: well, if he's doing fine, why can't you give me examples of what he's able to do, and you're the teacher, not me, so why not suggest ways for me to make it fun, and does it really matter anyway? If the teacher says he's doing fine, should I be forcing the poor chap to do homework?! He's not even 5 yet! The teachers seem convinced that the fact that he's a "summer birthday boy" is extremely relevant ... I'm not convinced!

My instinct is to just carry on reading him stories at home, for fun, without worrying about trying to make him read things himself. He's starting at a new school after half term (we're moving house) so perhaps I should just chill out and raise it with the new school then?

Btw, my son is bright, happy, excels in numeracy, has a great memory and loves computers, learning etc ... it's just getting him to do the phonics/reading himself at home that's the problem.

I realise that I probably sound like a pushy Mum ... which I probably am, at heart! However, I am more worried about pushing my son to do something that he doesn't enjoy and I don't want to make him hate reading - at his age I LOVED learning to read and I can vividly remember the awesome feeling of
a whole new world opening up to me. I want him to experience this too! And I don't want to take away his enjoyment of having a story read to him, which he has always loved.

Any thoughts on this would be very welcome. Thank you

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brimfull · 05/05/2009 18:50

go with your instinct

leave the homework

ChasingSquirrels · 05/05/2009 18:51

tbh the teacher not being prepared to discuss this more with you and provide the information you are asking for rings the most alarm bells for me.

BUT he is leaving the school in a few weeks, so personally I would just read to him and then see what happens as he settles into the new school.

FabulousBakerGirl · 05/05/2009 18:52

I wouldn't push it as you are going to a new school.

Fimbo · 05/05/2009 18:55

My ds is in reception and not keen either. I just try and grab 5 minutes when he is in the mood. He can do it, but gets bored very easily.

My dd didn't start reading fluently until the end of yr 1.

My view is they all get there in the end and whilst it is frustrating all you can do is go with what they are happy with doing.

My ds loves stories being read to him, so we are continuing in this vein where I stop and get him to read the next word etc.

bran · 05/05/2009 18:59

If he loves computers then you could try Headsprout which is a phonics reading program based on a computer game style of learning, ie you have to finish each level to get to the next. It was popular with my June-born 4 yo during the Easter holidays. He hasn't really done much since term started again which is fine with me, I'll encourage him to start again in the summer holidays.

At his age I could already read very well, I was on Famous Five books when I was 5. But I was a sedentary girl and a naturally early reader and he is an active boy who would be happiest if he never had to stay still for any reason (except an episode of Ben 10). You can't really compare as it's not like with like.

mrz · 05/05/2009 19:16

As a reception teacher I would be more worried about the teacher's attitude than your son's lack of interest in reading.
I ask my children to spend no more than 10 minutes a night practising their sounds and/or reading book and always tell parents if the child won't do it not to make a fuss.
My class love these free on line games and these activities.

smee · 05/05/2009 20:25

He's only four. Ditch the homework and curl up with story books.

fridayschild · 05/05/2009 22:05

The only ways I could get DS to read words to me when he was in reception were
-to ice words onto biscuits or cakes and make him read them all before anyone could eat one
-randomly selecting about 6 words from his key words pages and then using them in a very silly story about what school would be like if kids were the teachers for a day. Every time I got the word into the story I would point at it and DS had to say it. We did this at breakfast time.

You will see from this that my child sits still when there is food involved. Similar trigger for your boy? Apart from that I think the key is not to put him off reading to you, but it is very hard not to worry.

cory · 05/05/2009 22:23

Ah, painful memories!

Dd would stare at the ceiling, out of the window, at her toes, anywhere but at the written page.

Fast forward 7 years and her idea of a bit of light bedtime reading is Vanity Fair.

I could have spent those evenings having a nice drink instead.

ILoveDolly · 05/05/2009 22:52

Reading to him when he is sitting near enough to also look at the words if he wants. You reading to him is just as important as practicing phonics at his age.

pigswithfludontfly · 05/05/2009 23:10

Could you write some silly very short stories about his favourite things and slip a few new words for him to read in there. So you read nearly all of it but stop for the specific words school need him to learn?

That said, I agree with others to wait and see as he's changing schools so soon.

MollieO · 05/05/2009 23:35

Ds (same age as yours - 5 towards end of June) went through a phase of refusing to do his reading homework. I never tried to force or persuade him. All I did was say that I would do a note to his teacher in his reading diary that he hadn't wanted to do his homework. Most of the time that was enough to get him interested, but not always. I wasn't bothered. I also know that ds is incredibly stubborn so if I did try to persuade him it would completely backfire.

He seemed to be better than some at reading and not as good as others, according to what I could glean in the playground. I asked his teacher and she wasn't overly bothered either. She also says he is doing what he should be doing without going into particular detail.

He's 4 he has plenty of time to develop an interest in reading. I always read ds a mix of his reading books, story books and fact books. I remind him that once he can read fluently he will be able to read all the lovely books he likes to look at. In the past couple of weeks he has asked me to keep his bedside light on so he can 'read' after I've put him to bed.

Original poster

MummyDragon · 06/05/2009 06:23

Thank you so much for your replies - really helpful. I will certainly try out those computer programs with my son, and am also going to go with my original instinct to not worry about the phonics and just have a chat about it with the teacher at the new school once my son has been there for a few weeks. He'll obviously get there when he's ready! Easy to forget that they're still so young sometimes, when they grow up so fast in other ways ... sigh ..

Thank you

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