anyone have dc like my dd, did they improve?

[paddingtonbear1]

Just been to see dd's teacher. She is 5 and in yr 1. She has always struggled at school, is at the bottom end of the class due to her poor concentration and listening skills. She's been exactly the same since nursery, nothing the school or we have done has made any difference at all. She has had glue ear at various points, and I'm taking her back to the hospital in a weeks time for another hearing check. Her behaviour is fine, but she doesn't focus in class so often doesn't know what she's meant to be doing! Her teacher has asked me to get her checked with the GP.
Were anyone else's dcs like this, and did they improve over time?

I would try and get her assessed by a speech and language therapist to test her understanding of language. Sometimes it's not at all obvious that this a the problem as children can rely on all sorts of visual cues (e.g. adults pointing, seeing what the other kids are doing, following normal routines) to help them cope with normal day to day activities. It is only when language becomes more specific (e.g. following discussions in the classroom, when asked to follow specific instructions) that children are completely lost.

thanks neolara, would I start at the GP for that?
dd can follow instructions I give but they tend to be pretty simple ones, in a classroom setting when they are sat on the carpet she tends to zone out and get lost. She also fiddles with her hair etc when you're trying to talk to her!

paddington, i have a similar dd, same age.

if you do a search you may well find one of my threads about this, under special needs, i think.

jabberwocky is someone who knows a lot about this as well.

have to go to garage now, but good luck, will check back later.

kickassangel thank you, I will have a look!

I've found some of your threads, my dd does sound exactly like yours! how are things going?
dd's teacher is reluctant to go down the 'punishment' route at school, as she can't be sure if dd's behaviour is deliberate. I don't think it is as she's been the same for the past 3 years!

yep, my dd is v v unhappy if she thinks she's done anything wrong, but last night school had 'science night' and she was soooo excited by seeing all the fun experiments that she just could not stand still.

we have an appt to see behavioural paediatric in july - i'm in the US, but before we left the UK i spoke to our gp, and she said that around the age of 5 is when they start making referrals. before that 'very bouncy & touches everything' describes almost any child, but by dd's age she should be grwoing out of it.

we, too, try not to punish, but can be hard when you have to leave a shop cos she's unsafe & won't stop touching, jumping etc.

i'm thinking she may have Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Google it, and there's quite a few descriptions.

Strategies that help are fixed routines, give her something in her hand to play/hold, give her something to look at, not just listen.

i don't know which is worse, when she's hyped up & you can't get through to her, or locked in her own world & you can't get through to her.

the good news is, she's reading books for 8 year olds & really keen on learning new things, so although she doesn't always seem to take in info first time round, somehow it is getting through & she is learning properly. i'm hoping that the right strategies will help her to settle in more.

dd is also worse when in a new environment, so our move to the US has highlighted all this, but she is settling down now (6 months) but supply teachers find her hard work as she can find that hard.

when i was teaching, the ed services said they would suspect a medical diagnosis (rather than bad behaviour) if the same behaviour was shown in 2 or more situations (home, school, dance class) and lasting into 5 yrs & older. if you & dd's teacher both feel it's appropriate, you can go to a gp to discuss this. both in uk & us they listened to me properly & didn't think i was just being over protective.

good luck!

thanks - yes she is the same at home, although it seems more pronounced in a school setting. She isn't too bad in shops but she does still chew things, which she should have long grown out of! Her biggest problem is being in her own world when as you say, you can't get through to her. She has had recurrent bouts of glue ear and I suspect her hearing isn't great at the moment, but I don't know if this has caused all her problems. We are due to go to audiology at the hospital next week anyway, they cancelled the last appointment! I will mention it to them and see what they say, and then go to the GP - dd has been like this for around 3 years now. We have no other dc and I had no experience of children before, so when dd was younger we just thought it was normal.. I guess that's why they don't like to look into it until they're 5 or over.

well, it does no harm to ask & find out. with dd i've wondered if ti's more a stress reaction thing, but even if it is, then some useful strategies would be good for her teachers to have.

feeling really bad as she was extra bouncy this morning, didn't get dressed etc, then when i was tidying something up & she STILL didn't have her trainers on, i stood up to tell her & hit my head hard on something, so i yelled at her. i hardly ever shout at her, but i'm full of cold, really needed more sleep & then hit my head really hard. she looked upset, but then i think, what will happen when she's older if a boss tells her to do something & 5 mins later she still hasn't responded?
sigh

Hi - this is my first post on Mumsnet ... I just wanted to say that glue ear can make a huge difference to a child's concentration and behaviour.. My son (age 4) had grommets fitted last November and he is a different boy now. Behaviour, concentration and general demeanour are vastly different (in a good way!). By the way, it took him a little while after the op to learn to LISTEN when people were talking!

hi MummyDragon! dd did have glue ear in reception, but at her last test they said it had improved. Then they cancelled another test, and her next one is due on Monday. I'm going to explain the problems she's having and see what they say, even if her hearing is OK. It's good that the op improved things for your ds - if dd's hearing is bad again I might push for it for her.

with glue ear once the gunk has gone the brain has to relearn to hear properly again so it is a very vicious circle if she has recurrent glue ear. It could be a huge contributory factor.

My dd changed personality after having grommits went from being introvert and barely speaking/participating in class to always having her hand up and becomming very confident.