5yo in tears b/c teacher criticised her colouring-in!

[Hobnobfanatic]

DD has been upset all afternoon. Says she doesn't like school anymore, wants to go to a new school, wants to stay at home tomorrow etc.

After a lot of gentle prodding, it seems that the teacher said her colouring in wasn't very good. Poor DD was in floods of tears - real heaving sobs - and has only just gone to sleep.

"I did my best!" she cried.

I told her that that is all she can do - but she has taken it very badly.

I guess she needs to learn how to accept criticism, but it seems a really hard lesson.

Any advice, anyone?

I'd say something on the lines of 'Now, you are always my most special LO and I'm always proud of what you do; the teacher was telling you how to do it better, that's her job'.

Difficult isn't it when you only have the interpretation of what was said and not a transcript.

If it was exactly those words, i.e. 'not very good' then that's not constructive criticism.

I would suggest asking DD what she thought of her colouring and focus on that...'what was good about it?' 'what colours did you use?' 'which bits were hardest?'

Err, I think I would have a little chat with teacher tomorrow and ask her why she felt the need to be quite so down on your poor DD??? Could she have phrased it better?

Oh FFS - your poor DD

It doesn't matter if it's any good or not according to the teachers' standards, it matters that your DD is happy with it. I'd be livid.

Ah bless her.

t is a hard one. If the teacher really did say it was no good then it is not right. However with 5y it can be hard to know how it was siad and what was actualy said.

My DD had presentation of colouring in as a target on her Y1 report, because the teacher felt she could do it a bit better if she took her time a bit more. Also, the teacher needed to find a target I think.

DD was so pleased over the summe holidays - she won a colouring competition at alocal restaurant and won a prize. She took that certficate in to show her old teacher the first day back

I would mention to the teacher tomorrow that dd took a comment she made very much to heart, and cried a lot. It doesn't hurt for her to be aware (assuming she did say that, its true 5 yr olds can misconstrue!) that an insensitive comment can utterly crumple a sensitive 5yr old, to whom a teacher is a Huge And Important Being.

And I would let your dd know how you feel about it, too. She needs to know you are on her side and care about her, more than anything else!

Thank you, everyone - some great advice! DD does indeed worship the ground the teacher walks on! She's generally praised for her work, so it's crumpled her completely.

I shall mention it to the teacher tomorrow...

I agree with Hulababy...it is difficult to know whether what was interpreted by a 5yo may have accidentally been misconstrued. For example, I said to one of my pupils who had obviously rushed through his work of colouring and I knew he could do better "take a look at your colouring, do you think that is your best work?" Obviously I would not have said this to a child who had coloured or done their work to their known ability. But I had the same situation, where Mum came storming in the next morning demanding to know why I had "made fun of her childs work". So we had a whole thing about what I said, TA backed me up as she was there and actually heard what I had said....so just make sure to take it with a grain of salt so to speak...not by ANY means saying that this did not happened, obviously it did or your DD would not have been so visibily upset, but she may have misconstrued what was actually being said to her.

Yes, I agree. I know that what my DD told me might not be what was said, but it's what she interpreted as being said.

I've told the teacher of how DD reacted, just to make her aware that DD is a sensitive soul who has been devastated by the comment - whatever that comment is. She can then decide how best to handle future constructive criticism with her - I guess DD needs to toughen up, but how that's handled, God knows!

The colouring-in issue... ! My ds had to be taken out of the classroom to calm down after his colouring-in was criticised by the teacher and he burst into tears; he didn't tell me anything about it, but the teacher told me herself (just letting me know in case he talked about it after school). If only I had known how important colouring-in was when beginning school, I'd have prepared him by making him hit the colouring books as soon as he went into his 'big-boy' pants when he was toilet trained at two-and-a-half!!!

Oh, sorry, advice-wise: maybe get her some new crayons and a colouring book for practice at home, and heap-on the praise!!! I didn't appreciate it, but the colouring-in is to improve dexterity (obvious, perhaps, but not to me at the time!). (By the way, my ds simply HATES colouring-in and that's that I'm afraid... it's still all scrawly and so obviously resentfully done! But suddenly he took a notion in P2 to drawing little pictures - "go on Mum, ask me to draw you something... anything you like" - so you never know, maybe she prefers to draw!!! Meanwhile, get her to try her best at the colouring-in for this initial period in school).

Thanks, Gold. DD is a typical girl - loves colouring in and drawing etc, which is perhaps why she took it so badly!

Anyway, I let the teacher know her reaction and they had a good chat as a class about not taking it personally - and what a teacher's job is etc, and LO is happy once more. I'm so glad I mentioned it to the teacher ? she's very lovely.

Well done you, Hobnob, I'm glad