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I work at my dd's school, + am very hurt by a comment from one of her friends!

6 replies

onthepier · 26/04/2009 11:48

I work as a lunchtime supervisor at my children's school, (my dd is 8 by the way).

I feel I do a good job + although you're not supposed to focus solely on your own children while in the playground, (obviously!), I do look out for them + have sorted out problems before with their friends.

I was very hurt recently when my dd repeated to me what her friend had said. She basically said to my dd, "If you were being picked on at lunchtime your mum wouldn't do anything, because if something doesn't affect her she doesn't think she has to bother!

I'm upset for two reasons, one because this just isn't the case, my dc's are the most important things to me, in fact my own friends tease me about the fact that I enjoy daytrips/pantomimes etc so much with the children, whereas a lot of them are palming their kids off on grandparents at weekends!!

The other reason I'm hurt is because this just doesn't sound like something an 8 yr old, (this child is 8 too btw), would say. I can only think that her parents have said it to her + she's repeated it. As her mum is a friend of mine I'm quite upset.

I don't know whether I'm overanalysing here, but I'm now questioning how I come over in the playground, although I'm popular with all the kids + my feet don't seem to touch the ground during the hour I'm there per day, maybe others don't see it that way.

Would others be upset by this or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
MuffinBaker · 26/04/2009 11:50

I agree it doesn't sound like something an 8 year old would come up with.

I would speak to someone at school about it, not the chid's mother.

Not sure what can be done though. Just reassure your children you would move heaven and earth for them.

Ivykaty44 · 26/04/2009 11:54

Stand back and look at the bigger picture - what does it matter as long as your dc know where they stand with you that is all that matters

Concentrate on your relationship with your dc

scienceteacher · 26/04/2009 11:59

You have to have a thick skin if you work in the same school as your child (and the same goes for the child).

You have to be ultra professional and not favour your own child. If another pupil criticises you to your child, you have to train your child to say, "try living with her".

As Ivy says, as long as your child knows the truth, that is all that matters. But she should be given tips on how to diffuse any criticism of you (which is really to get at the child, rather than genuine criticism).

onthepier · 26/04/2009 15:38

Thank you, I'm prob a bit more sensitive than I'd normally be at the moment, having just had a long battle to get a statement for my special needs son. We were successful by the way!

I think given that I've been so focussed on achieving this, a comment suggesting that I don't stick up for my kids is really unfair + hurtful.

All your advice is right, obv my dc's know how much I do for them + I suppose that's the main thing!

OP posts:
Flightattendant25 · 26/04/2009 15:44

Could it be an error of reporting - ie could the other child have meant, that you wouldn't bother to intervene if she was being picked on, because you are only interested in things that affect your own daughter?

If it was said like that it would be easy to explain by the other child being jealous and trying to upset your daughter.

salome64 · 26/04/2009 18:39

In my ds' school, where I have worked, the policy is for parents to never get involved in disputes involving their kids, to ensure impartiality. It saves a lot of trouble, I can tell you.

The point is is that you are there for all the children, not just your dcs, and need to be professional at all times, and never be seen to favour them in a dispute with another child, because that is simply unfair on the other children.

small children are notoriously inept at expressing themselves, and as an adult we need to give them the benefit of the doubt.

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