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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

No offers on 3 choices... what now? Please please advise.

31 replies

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 18/04/2009 12:00

All the three schools I've applied they are oversubscribed and we did not get a place. We will still be on the waiting list with a good chance of getting in but good is not enough to relax as everyone thought we'd get a place 100% in the first two considering distance.

I was told that I'be offered a place at closer good school but I haven't been. Apparently I can only either stay on the list or/and apply for an extra one from a list provided. None of those suits either for distance or preference.

I feel like an idiot as I would have indicated that extra school on my original list if I knew I wouldn't be able to add it on later IFKWIM.

What to do now? should I call them and ask beg them to let me choose that school, add the school on the form anyway, add one of those on the list, leave it as it is while praying for a place?

I'm gutted (as many others I know) but I live 3 meters from one school and a 1/4 of a mile from the other one. Who would have foreseen this?

You can probably you tell it is my first child going through this.

Please what's your experience and advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dinasaw · 18/04/2009 12:29

You should have been offered a place at a school somewhere in the LA area. Have you got a school place?

CarGirl · 18/04/2009 13:10

Presumably the other school you like is also full but you can still go on the waiting list for that as well.

It is only a preference I'm afraid.

I would just put your dc name down on the waiting list for the schools you are prepared to send him to. When is he 5 as he doesn't need to start school until the term he turns 5 anyway which may give you a term or 2 breathing space?

ellingwoman · 18/04/2009 13:16

What is the criteria? Living that close should have been enough unless it was a 100% sibling intake or it's a church school

lalalonglegs · 18/04/2009 13:20

What CarGirl said - we were in the same position last year, no place and our LA doesn't allocate places until September because they know there will be lots of people dropping out before that time by moving away or going private. It was horribly stressful but a place did come up at our nearest school (not my first choice) in June and, by that time, we had also been able to find a place at another, very good school as well albeit not a terribly local one.

It's the most awful feeling when you don't get offered a place anywhere - I'm feeling sick just thinking about it - but if you are reasonably high up the waiting list, you will probably find a place over summer or in the first term of the academic year. Good luck.

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 18/04/2009 13:56

Thank you all. It is a horrible feeling. It feels as if I've failed my dd (my rational mind knows it's rubbish but ikwim).

Anyway first choice school is state and 1/4 mile. Hopefully we are high on the list and a place will turn up.

2nd choice is the one meter away school, a faith school so siblings and church goers first. Then it's us I guess but I expect not terribly high on the list. will enquire on monday.

3rd choice was a RC with little chance but though I'd try. I feel now this was the mistake I made. I should have put down the other local good one less than 1/4 mile away but big instead as a safety net. I didn't because I was told that I'd get re-offered that anyway if all others failed. Now the council said I cannot add that on the list even as a preference but only those undersubscribed they want.

I hope it'll all end up well.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 18/04/2009 14:02

I'm sure come September you will be able to put her on the waiting list for the large local one, again you'd be top of the waiting list but someone may drop out in the first term.

Sadly many people are mistakenly given the belief that they don't need to put down a "certainty" I always tell friends to put down the nearest school they are prepared to accept that they stand a very good chance of getting into and 2 other schools that they should also get into otherwise you end up with the dregs that no-one wants or a school miles away!

The forms are too long and too complicated and don't make plain & simple reading, the LEA does not care how far away you live from a school they allocate you a place and they've fulfilled their obligation.

lalalonglegs · 18/04/2009 14:17

I felt I had failed my daughter as well - I think it was the first time I put her in a system that was completely out of my control and (as it turned out) a bit of a lottery. I will never forget the horror I felt on that Thursday morning logging onto my email and finding she had no place at any of the four local schools. When it comes to secondaries, I'm moving into the bike shed of whichever is the best and I don't care about the ethics of it.

Lots of deep breaths and it will be OK - a place will come up somewhere. To give you an idea, my daughter was 4th at one school (1st choice - still 4th, unfortunately)) and 5th at second choice. She was offered a place in June at 2nd choice and, since she started, four children have dropped out (in a single-form entry intake) and been replaced. We live in London which is considered unusually mobile in population terms but still...

As a safety net, is she at a nursery that you are pleased with and that will keep her on for a few months if there isn't a place immediately available in September?

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 18/04/2009 23:23

lalalonglegs I'm a miserable cow today and suspect I will be so until things brighten up a bit. I'm shitting myself at the thought that on monday I'll find out where she's on the list. God knows what I am going to do if she's well low on all of them. I'm in london too so fingers crossed.
I hope it'll be a similar story.
thanks for support. I'm questioning my laid back attitude now and wondered if I should have made the all family go to church...

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Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 18/04/2009 23:24

btw I love the nursery so I guess she could stay there. is it better that she does that or that she starts at some faraway bad school and then change?

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lalalonglegs · 19/04/2009 13:22

I go to mass every week but still didn't get into our first choice RC school (650m away). Don't torture yourself.

I know a couple of people who have kept their children in nursery because they didn't think they would get a place at the right school (and one of the children is August birthday and would have been very young to start reception a few days after her 4th b'day). It certainly was one of the options I was considering when I didn't have anywhere to send my daughter.

With respects to a "bad" school: the thing is your child probably won't perceive it as bad unless it's really bloody terrible and she is bullied on a daily basis or something. She will probably think it's all new and exciting so it's really up to you to decide whether you want her to start somewhere that you are less than happy with (and wait out a place at the better schools) or if you are adamant that it would be detrimental to her in some way.

By way of another example, we took the place at the 2nd choice school because it was very local but we weren't very happy with it but (oh joy!) since starting the HT, who really is a disgrace, has resigned and a new much punchier one is coming in and I think the school will turn a very sharp corner in the next year. So these things can work out even if, at the time, it all looks a bit hopeless. Needless to say, despite the many inadequacies of the school under its current management, my daughter thinks it is fabulous and loves going there (it's just me that felt like throwing a brick through the window every time I walk past).

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 19/04/2009 20:34

lala you say the right things. (I liked you since the marylebone road charity shop thread ).

I've had such a weekend. off to try do something that'll take my mind off.

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lalalonglegs · 19/04/2009 20:48

I should just take the compliment and shuffle off blushing wildly but, actually, I don't think I've ever been on a thread about charity shops in marylebone...

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 20/04/2009 09:51

where you not???!!!! gawd that's embarassing! I like you anyway for your help these past few days which will be imprinted in my memory forever.

anyway I've called the council, after bursting into tears with the first person at nursery who asked me about the schools, and I CAN apply for the big community I liked.

So not is lost. Also after a terrible weekend I've got faith again and I'm sure everything will be allright.

OP posts:

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 20/04/2009 10:09

It was spidermama! God knows why I made the mix up, maybe from Peppa Pig's spider Mr Skinnylegs !

Or maybe it was on the thread about onebat wanting to do a phd? si? [pippi is hoping she has not lost it all together]

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lalalonglegs · 20/04/2009 11:10

lalalonglegs = similar to daddylonglegs = kind of like a parent and a spider = spidermama... Easy mistake to make

Great news about the other school.

wheelsonthebus · 20/04/2009 19:21

la la - your posts are very sound and chime with me. my dc has just got into a primary which i loath but was the only one we got. i am praying and hoping it turns round (and there are imminent staff changes); i will also put a lot of effort in at home and tutor dc if necessary. if we come into money, dc's coming out at seven; hope the recession ends by then;)

lalalonglegs · 20/04/2009 21:08

If you want to look up my threads from last year you will see I wasn't always so philosophical. Plenty of wailing and gnashing of teeth and the stress completely took the shine off the birth of my youngest child .

Imminent staff changes can only be a good thing if you are unhappy with the school - in a year or two it could be unrecognisable. That's what I'm hoping for mine (so fed up with being patronised by the people who got their children into the "good" schools).

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 21/04/2009 09:53

lalalonglegs went to faith across the road and dd is quite high on the list and even they said they've got lots of movement and they were very positive. ahhhhh [s mile][smi le][smile ]

and my guess is that she's high on the list on the community school as a friend's dd got in and she must be a few meters closer than we are. [s mile][smi le]

and I can apply for third choice too.

oh the world is lovely again.

OP posts:

lalalonglegs · 21/04/2009 10:10

Damon - did you used to have another name - an Italian name..?

lalalonglegs · 21/04/2009 10:14

that's really good news, btw

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 21/04/2009 10:19

si? perche'?

OP posts:

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 21/04/2009 10:20

forgot the .

OP posts:

lalalonglegs · 21/04/2009 10:36

Ti ricordo da un altro "filo" .

Original poster

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 21/04/2009 10:40

!! Un filo di ragnatela !!!!

See I knew there was a connection somewhere!

Must go and check if I had insulted you or something... oh the shame.

OP posts:

lalalonglegs · 21/04/2009 10:53

No, no, stai tranquilla - era quello sulla scuola religiosa molto vicina casa tua che non ti permetteva visitare.

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