How much at home work do you/should you be doing with your 5 y/o?

[Pawslikepaddington]

Have just had a "telling off" from my neighbour, as I don't do any at home work with dd. We swim, she goes to ballet, we garden, we go out on the bikes-I think these kind of activities are necessary to develop her as an all round child, not just a test-scorer-I like her to know home is home and school is school.

However, she is very obviously behind our neighbour's child (although is very enthusiastic about everything she does bar reading), and have just had an unsavoury conversation with the mother about how I am developmentally delaying my child, and how she should be doing homework when we are in the house, as then they see it "as play" and become academics as they find it fun. WHAT!!??!! Am I developmentally delaying my child? I want to privately educate her when finances permit in a few years, and if all the children are as far above her as our neighbour's child is (who is not able to do anything 'off topic"-i.e. she does not ask questions about anything, she simply learns things by rote, so I would not say she was more academically able, just can do a lot more IYSWIM) she will never get in.

I'm a SEN teacher but when I did mainstream primary I hated giving out homework (other than reading and spelling) as kids should be allowed to be kids. They need time to let off steam.

I'm sure her teacher will let you know if she feels that extra work at home will be of benefit to her or if you're concerned speak to her teacher.

IMHO the kids I taught who were 'pushed' at home rebelled more when they were older and refuse to do anything academic at home (or in school too for that matter )

Academic ability is not the only basis for a child being accepted into a privste school IME. They are looking for well rounded individuals not robots who can repeat information (doesn't mean they understand a flaming word of it though )

No you are NOT developmentally delaying your child but I suggest your neighbour well may be delaying her child.

As a reception teacher I ask my parents to spend no more than 10 mins a day doing "school" things such as counting how many items you put in the shopping trolley at the supermarket, playing "spot today's number" on walks (or bike rides) ~ who can spot the number 5 first wins, I Spy, and singing or reciting nursery rhymes or action songs not sitting in the house "working" because it's "fun"!!!

Thank you-I got so worried I had wasted a year! I get really worried about this kind of thing as I don't have my mum around to ask, and my own childhood is too much of a dim memory to remember, so I get v lost in these kind of areas.

The other little girl is very very very intense-she gets very very angry if dd talks about any other friends she has, or if dd gets a new toy/plays out when neighbours aren't etc, and gets v melodramatic, and I do not want dd to be like that at all, and pushing her will not help (she is v laid back, but with a tendancy to snap without warning if she is pressurised to hard), so I try and let her unwind as much as poss.

We have lots of parents who ask for homework

Well, DS1 is a very active 5 yr old so we do the regulation school reading and whatever else we can fit in if he sits still for 5 minutes!
He helps me cook/measure/I ask him to write story whilst I tidy away/gardening/shopping lists/games with numberplates etc when driving/jigsaws/lego etc

But really nothing "schoolish", just what I bet you do every day anyway.
Your neighbour sounds barmy and overbearing tbh

I am a teacher and I agree with Lizzielou-her activities are worth 10 worksheets! Carry on as you are and don't get influenced by neurotic parents.

Aaah dd will never do anything schoolish (including car numberplate games) unless forced/threatened with taking away of priviledges, which I found to be totally non-productive and threw out of the window after the first half term.

She is quite happy to build volcano's in the garden/make cinder toffee/help me measure out icing sugar in order to eat it by the bowlful, but otherwise she has to be outside every second possible climbing/scooting/jumping. Bar counting her jumps there is little there to help with reading . She is SO into science/nature, that I really don't want to discourage it, as I never was and was very of outdoorish families!

And thank you again to all of you-I am always v acutely aware of the things I am NOT doing with dd, and rarely look at the things we do do, so am always looking for things I am not doing with her and feeling bad about them! Can't wait to get her off camping!

Our school is "outstanding" on all aspects of OFSTED's report.

My ds1 is in yr1 so he is almost 6. We get 3 reading books a week, and we have just started to get 10 spellings a week and now some numeracy homework (looking at the weights on labels and seeing which was the heaviest)

Basically all I do is the reading bit. He does read other books but they have to be of interest to him and he reads them on the toilet and in bed. So anything dinosaur based.

He is a child, he reads to me for 10 minutes maximum and then he is off playing lego, or helping me with tea, constructing train track with his little brother, drawing pictures of T-rex and a volanco or generally living in a little fantasy world and running around.

I know that other parents in the playground do do more with their children but my son is in the middle set of 3 so as a summer boy I think he is doing great!

Your neighbour sounds awful - can you get her back by implying that her daughter is lagging behind yours on the swimming/cycling/ballet front?

Your neighbour sounds awful - can you get her back by implying that her daughter is lagging behind yours on the swimming/cycling/ballet front?

Stop worrying - we didn't send our DD to school at all until she was 6. within a couple of months she had overtaken all the class in reading although she had been pretty much illiterate when she started and they had been there since reception. Maths took her about a year to work out but she got there! She is now almost 8 and has just got a place at a top 5 school after 4 hours of entrance papers. All her teachers say she is way ahead of the other children in English mainly due to her imagination. I was a bit panicky about her starting so late but DH is not from England and insisted 4 was too early - he started school at 7.

TBH I think it is England that has got its values screwed up re little children - starting young does not equate later success at all and bright children will always overtake the ones who have been primed. Let your dd enjoy herself and not get all worked up about school so young.