Moving schools in year 5

[keevamum]

My DD is in year 4 and has just been offered a place in the school we really wanted 3 years down the line. Do we move her now?! We have not been happy with the standard of education she has had in her present school but she likes it and is settled and is happy....she won't want to move in short. We on the other hand think we will live to regret not moving her if we don't do it. We know the school is very good academically and we really hope and think she will do better there, but I don't want to be responsible for making her very unhappy.....Does anyone have any experience of this or any advice??

dh's school was closed (falling numbers) and he was moved to a new school for the last three years of juniors. The new school discovered that the children from the closing school were a year behind academically, and made them catch up in their first year. He went on to win a scholarship and do very well academically (first in his family to university) his older sisters went to the local secondary and left at 16 with little or no qualifications (one of them at 40+ is now doing a masters, so this was not due to an intelligence issue). His parents wished that they had known the original school, which they had thought good, was in fact so bad.

I would say if you think the atmosphere of the school is not encouraging, and your dd has already decided being clever is bad then so long as you think she will fit into the new school and you help her to adjust and make new friends I would move her as soon as you can. I have seen too many bright kids completely lose their interest in learning because they decide being clever is a bad thing (my ds is going through a phase of this at the moment, which we are fighting).

If you lose the habit of stretching yourself when you are young, getting it back is very hard, and the opportunity cost is high.

Thankyou for all the comments, any other opinions welcome.

Bump

Our dd is starting a new school after Easter; she's in year 5 too. The school is very much as yours is described, she has never been really challenged, they do seem to settle for mediocrity and dd is so bored and frustrated; she has already said she would like to go to a school where her classmates don't think she's weird just because she's interested in things.

It was an easy decision for us, as she hasn't really any settled, long term friendships there - all hers come from outside school. She is really excited about starting at the new one. She wants to go to University, and knows that she needs a better education than the one she is getting.

Have you asked your dd how she feels?

I think it depends on the child. We moved both my boys Yr5 and Yr 3 at the start of this academic yr. DS1 has thrived and loves his new school. DS2, who is very bright and won a scholarship has found it much harder to make good friends as he is very mature for his age. He would still love to go back to his old school. I am torn, my H left us, and i would quite like to move back but DS1 is doing so much better where he is that I dont know what to do. Mind you in the current economic climate im not sure i have much of a choice!

i moved my dd in yr 4 (half way through) as we were unhappy with education

yes she had strong friendships but imo children are flexible and resilient

she moved

she loved being the new girl

it was all very positive she loved it and academically it was great

I moved school during the first term of year 5. There wasn't any choice about it - a job move for my father, back to a country we all loved from the UK. I was at a pretty mediocre school, where they knew I was bright so saw no reason to push me. I moved to one where they gave me an IQ test in the first term, and then really pushed me. It was the making of me academically, and I loved the new school.

My son is in year 5 now - and the contrast of the dull, pedestrian teaching he is getting, compared with lessons I still remember from the same age (40 years on) is one of the reasons that we will be moving him next year.

Thanks, I am beginning to think we should go for it. As long as we work hard with the school to try to ensure it is as happy and smooth as possible for her.

Ok I have broached the subject with her in a hypothetical manner. She has been in floods of tears telling me she loves her school and would hate to move schools even if the other school turned out much better.....Help I am in such a dilemma.

Hi, I moved my son in the middle of the school year of year 4 (I know your daughter will go into year 5)
I moved him, so that he was the new boy at the beginning of the Spring term Jan 2008. It was not his choice to leave his first primary school but mine. Although he was being bullied and had been for 2 years,he had some wonderful friends, who he does still see every week at football, karate etc. His education was also suffering as he had for 3 years, newly qualified teachers (nothing wrong with them!)but each one was quite weak,and did not like to push him further if he completed the classwork but got him to help the weaker pupils in the class.
I chose his new school (we opted to go in to private sector) He went for a taster day just before he started, met all the teachers and all the pupils in his class.
He knew that I wasn't offering him a choice but as his mum I was doing this move to offer him the best chance in life and being an adult I knew best!!!!!!!
It is most definitely the best decision we have ever made..... It took about 6 weeks (a term) for him to have really settled but he now has firmer friendships at his new school than he did at his old. And to see him being stretched at school, rather than helping the teacher has given him new enthusiasm for school, he is like a different boy.

I also had to move school in the last term at primary school (what is now year 6) as my parents moved from Hertfordshire to Sussex in the early eighties. I obviously had no choice in the matter either and I loved my new school, I loved being the new girl and the children in the class all trying to be the one to show me where the dinner hall was, art room, toilets etc
As it was the whole class were split up over the summer hols as we all went to different senior schools anyway and it was at senior level that I made my 2 closest friends who I am still friends with today!
Make the move sound exciting, all positives, make a big thing about going out to buy the uniform, tell her how she will have even more friends shortly! but don't give her a chance to dwell on anything that might upset her and most of all don't let the choice be made by her!I know that sounds harsh, but she is just still a child, you are the adult and her parent and you do know best! At 11+ I wasn't give the choice of which secondary school I would be going to, we looked at all options together but ultimately my parents chose because they knew best! as do you know best at this time, if you are not happy that she is not succeeding at her current school then go with your instincts

best wishes

CGM x

Thanks CGM you are making me feel much happier about it.

I would suggest getting her involved in as much social contact with girls from the new school as possible.

Speak to the (potential) new HT. Does he/she know of any particular club that the girls go to after school? Maybe Guides or swimming or something. Definitely go with the playdate thing.

Also, and I know this sounds crude but is there anything 'desirable' you could get her in preparation for the move? Something the other girls will be keen on/interested in that may spark an initial interest in your DD. Failing that, how about arranging something cool like a movie night at the beginning of term. Cool, age appropriate movie with popcorn and goodies and the tv room to themselves. Maybe with a sleepover.

I'm sure she'll be popular in her own right but no harm in helping it along in the short term. I remember we had a new girl in Y6. She had an enormous wooden playhouse in her garden with a sofa and chair. We had never seen the like and being shallow 11yr olds, really took to her. Of course before long we learned to like her for herself but it certainly helped her cause.

Oh and as a Y6 teacher I can say I've seen lots of kids join in Y5 and Y6 with no problems at all. Usually the girls. Some boys do seem to take longer but the girls all seem to slip right in.

Thanks again. Funny you should say that re a desirable thing. I had been thinking along the same lines myself...have only come up with having a plasma tv in her room, which goes against my long held view of having no tv in her room but could help to have a movie night....any other ideas welcome?

You could milk it the other way, Keeva. Make her promise to buckle down and start working very hard at her current school, and then she won't have to move.

I don't know I think I should give her that choice but then I am worried if she doesn't buckle down she may end up seeing the new school as a punishment and I don't want her to think of it in that light before she's even got there.....it's definitely very tricky.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently when she has started to say 'If I go to X school, will I be able to be a playleader to my little sister?' I think I might ask the HT when we go to look around if that could be offered to her?