Playdates am I the only one who feels this way

[tevion]

Hi
Just wondering if anyone else feels as though they are in a similar situation to me.
My ds is an only and I constantly worry that he doesn,t get enough company of his own age.
Ther are no children of his age in the family and I myself am fairly shy which has always been a real curse for me.
There is a bit of a lack of children in the neighbourhood for him to play with.
I therfore try and arrange playdates for him from school and also I keep him in ouch with mates from his old infant school.
The problem is that I sometimes feel as though I am beating my head up a wall as its always me that does the running, who phones other parents asking if their dc wants to come over and play and I have found that despite alot of my efforts nobody ever contacts us and suggests getting our children together over holidays etc.
Poeple are usually more than happy for their child to come and I even take their dc's out spend money on them etc.
I feel as thoug my ds would never see a soul if it wasn,t for my efforts and although I know people lead busy lives etc I just think that they could also make the effort sometimes to contact us.
Am I the only one to feel this way or is it me been silly.
Should I carry on as I am despite this.

Also, ds (Reception) has had one little boy around several times but has only received one return invite. Think this has a lot to do with his mum working nearly full time, older siblings who need taking to swimming, brownies etc and a hectic life on the part of his parents...rather than a deep seated resistance to the idea

tevion - there is so much angst in this thread on the issue of playdates(as hmc says). I don't think you are being silly but I think you are worrying too much about it. Is your DS upset about it? Does he ask about going on playdates?

faraday - "how many happen because of parental convenience" well in my experience almost all of them are.

Riven - I don't think the kids care that much and mostly I thnk it is parents putting the idea in their heads. You obviously and quite undestandably just got tired of the whole thing by child number 4.

Many MNetters know my strong views on playdates so I will not go on.

You hit the nail on the head faraday.
I do think alot of this is to do with a dc being an only.
I constantly worry about my ds not having enough hustle and bustle going on around him in our quiet household of three.
I get really envious of families where there are cousins, friends, coming and going bringing with them the opportunity to play whether it be a trip down the park, a bounce around on the trampoline in the back garden.
I do wonder how I would have felt if my ds had of had a sibling close in age and can,t help but feel it would have eased some of these feelings.
I have found this to be one of the hardest things to deal with in parenting.
Riven hmc you both have a very strong point and I have to admit that I know that its probably my own anxieties as my ds does seem happy enough and its always me that suggests playdates, he never really asks for them but I do see how much he enjoys himself especially on the occasions he has been invited to someones house and I do wish that others would give him the odd invite.
The last school holiday in Feb I had a mate over nearly every day and on the final day he begged me for a free day as he said he had been killed off with friends.
My dh also thinks that I worry far too much and that he socialises all day at school with them and its enough. He thinks that the simple reason that others don,t come forward and suggest our dc's get together is because they don,t worry the way I do but then I start over analysing things and thinking well the reason for that is probably because their dc's have a great line up of cousins, friends etc already in place.
The truth of the matter is that with an only you can get some terrible hang ups about your dc and friends, thinking do they have enough, are they in there on the friends front as well as they should be, does anyone like them enough to play with them outside of school.
My dh thinks that I should be careful as my ds is obviously happy enough and that I shouldn,t pass over my own insecurities onto him and get him thinking that he should have an endless supply of mates over and that its not normal if he doesn,t.
as for return invites stupid me again does worry that I am putting others under pressure to reciprocate alhtough that isn,t really my intention tbh, despite the fact I love it on the rare occasion they do.