concerns about my children's educational development

[Hther]

i really feel i have failed my daughters

i don't feel they are doing what they should be doing for their ages, i have never been very good at knowing what they should know at what age and i know all are different and we shouldn't compare too much but i think they should be doing more than this

as i said i know yo can't really say at what age should they do something so if i word it like this instead:

at what age would you be concerned if they can't read yet,
what age would you be concerned if they didn't recognise all their letters or numbers

i find it so hard to do stuff with them, as i have a demanding toddler who makes it hard to even read stories to them as he rips the book out of my hand and screams, and a 7 month old baby who wants to be held constantly and cries when put down even if he was fast asleep in your arms and has reflux really badly so i'm always washing

i felt eldest wasnt ready for school yet so i decided to delay until she is compulsory school age, ie after the easter holiday, but then felt she may get behind so when she was offered a full time place at nursery i said yes, thinking they'd have more time with her and also knew how to "teach" her. However, iboth she and her younger sister who seemed to know more than she did seem to know less know, ahve forgotten a lot of letters.

What is the minimum that would be expected at age 5 and 2 months and just 4. When i do have time to do stff with them, youngest gets bored, eldest frustrated if she cant do it, and they so moan to watch telly, the latter being thanks to having a very annoying person around who introduced them to telly; until then they hardly knew what a telly was!)

There are children entering Reception classes (some of whom are 5 already if they're 5 before school starts) that can't count to 10, can't read and can't write

Reception year is an extension of nursery learning - slightly more formal, more phonics work and learning to recognise sounds / letters / numbers but most of it is play based and fun stuff.

What sort of stuff do you do with them?

Would you / could you start playing number / colour / letter snap for example - not to get them to learn the letters etc but to make it utterly fun - they'll soon realise through the conversation during the game, that the circle with a tail is a "g" and it sounds like "guh" (preferably without the -uh sound being verbalised)

You could get some Jolly Phonics games from the Early Learning Centre if you're really worried, but it isn't necessary because, like I said - a lot of kids go to Reception at the level of not knowing letters / numbers because that's what Reception is designed to teach

click here for a chart of what the children are expected to do in Reception class (this is the chart for the 40-60month old kids) in their Communication, Language and Literacy part of their EYFS (early years foundation stage) education. Take heart - it all states; "begin to" on each level.

oh by the way - that chart is what they're meant to do DURING Year R in school so don't panic if they don't do it yet

Put it this way - a lot of chilren struggle with the noise and other children being around at school - your brood will not have that problem.

Children learn in bursts and they learn from just being around when things are happening. They probably do know lots of things already but you have your hands way too full to know.

It may help to consider how you are going to juggle the reading book and giving your school age child 5 minutes peace to do that.

just thought i'd post on here again as only just realised that this chart is for over 5 isn't it? it goes to 60 months, when i started this thread she was 62 months, ok so i know only 2 months out but if its says starting to do these at this age and if they'er not doing it at 62 months

also i have started home ed so she never started in the end as i moved house and the local schools are full

she can count fairly well to 30 10! rather than 40 but sometimes says 11, 12, 14

she is starting to recognise capitals as well as lower case but doesn't recognise all lower case letters, althogh several months ago she did (!) and she doesn't understand phonics, she loves drawing and after drawing will often write a few letters, c, w, l o mainly and if you write her name she will have a good go at telling you which letter comes next

i know we shouldnt compare children as there is hugh variation bt when i see other children her age or younger who are actually reading and she doesn't even know all her letters

i feel less bad now that i don't do enough with them, cos her younger sister does lots more, maybe my eldest would struggle at school anyway and its not down to me that she can't do stuff

first day of home ed went really well and i actually enjyed it, today and yesterday not so good as she was either staring into space, fiddling with hair or today she was saying i don't want to do it, or i'm tired or its boring

they are both ok with colours for over a year now my eldest ahs known 13 of them

we have always had loads of stories and singing

bump

Hello, I'm always a bit gobsmacked when I come on here and people are talking about key stages and oxford reading tree levels. Although I worry that I may be a pushy and over-involved parent, at the same time I've no idea exactly what my dd should be doing and what level they should be etc. I too have got a toddler and a bayb to deal with and I just reckon so long as I'm talking to dd and trying to read (maybe when the toddler's gone to bed? Or partner?) then they'll learn what they need at school. They are so young. And my parents did none of this stuff for me nor did any of my friends' parents and I can't say that it seems like as a generation we're disadvantaged by that (quite the contrary).

have to agree with you to some extent, barnsberry

I think this early stressing is counterproductive unless you have genuine reasons to suspect special needs

most of the time, I think providing a generally educational atmosphere about the house is more important than worrying about their Reading Tree.