Parties every weekend, what do you do? Yr1

[JaneSeymour]

Getting a bit fed up, as ds is struggling with tiredness all the time, comes out of school in tears every day, being v unreasonable and stroppy all evening.

We've started to get party invitations almost every single weekend. I know it's good for them to socialise and if it was instead of a school day, it would be fine.

However it's not, and he can't miss school - so he only gets one day to recover, and is stroppy all of saturday night as well as all week

What would you do, what DO you do...it just seems excessive to me. I realise some kids go to school on a Saturday anyway, but he is just so awful at the moment, I think he needs more down time.

There is a book called Playful Parenting by Leonard Cohen that talks about how to do this - i can't recommend it highly enough.

One example is playful wresting with your child! There are definite rules eg no hurting or tickling, and you have to provide appropriate resistance so that your child can pin you to the ground but only just!

My dd adores endless games of tag - she makes up the rules, they are always slanted massively in her own favour and she always wins. This is the kind of thing Cohen advocates - the stuff parents often think is pointless and tiresome - but the book gives you a different take on it, and in practice this kind of play has brought amazing benefits to my dd and to our relationship.

do people really get cross at being invited to too many parties? and think the parents are inviting lots of people to show off or to get more presents? this is upsetting to hear
we try to have a big crowd at ds's parties because i think it is fun
i invite any children i think will enjoy it - not to get presents - that is ludicrous
i could save the money spent on a party and buy my own presents if that was the case

I love parties. I like going to parties, I like having parties, and I like it when my beloved children are out at parties. They have fun (and Unsuitable Party Food of the type they're not allowed at home). I have fun because I can doss around reading a book. I feel reassured that their social skills and social life are being nurtured (thus excusing the dossing around - it's Good Parenting, you see). What's not to like?

That sounds great, Pod. I'll have a look for it (the same Leonard Cohen? Or a different one?!)

Franny, I'm not cross. I'm just frustrated. I kind of miss him when he's at school all week and then at a party EVERY saturday afternoon as well.

MI - i understand what you mean. Trouble is I can't really bum around when he's there, it's almost always a 2 hour slot, I'll have to drive down there (we're not as local as most people) and then hang about in town or sainsburys or something for an hour and a half before heading abck to get him. Maybe it's what I'm finding difficult - me having to be out (with a small toddler) for that length of time rather than ignoring entertaining them both at home.

If I drop him off and come home, i will have at most an hour here - there's not a lot you can do with an hour especially if toddler then falls asleep and has to be woken to go out again/

it's bound to get easier, I know - just a tricky age gap atm.

And I don't think it's to show off or get presents. I know it isn't. I didn't say that.

I think people just don't want to leave anyone out as they all know each other iyswim.

The thing about them being better off was just to illustrate that they can afford to hire the hall and we can't reciprocate

Ah, yes, that does sound tough. It will get better. DD2 is currently out at a party, and the older sister of the kids she's gone with (twins) is here, playing with DD1. A charming state of affairs for all.

That does sound cool

I'd love my house to be one of those free for all type of places where they can bring their mates, one day...

it just isn't quite working out that way yet!

Can't you leave toddler with dh/dp/gp? That way you'll have some time to yourself, which might be quite nice. I always stay at the parties as it is the only chance I have to get to know other mums.

Jane it was more some of the other comments, really
i understand your frustration and would only go to some of them - i think that is fine
also reciprocating only a few with a party at your house would be fine

Thanks Fran

Mollie - Mum helps with toddler a couple of days a week, but not saturdays! Sadly..

Thanks all, have got a good idea of what's normal from reading your posts.

Jane it's Lawrence Cohen that wrote the book not Leonard. Durrrr!!

Ah Ok

I was starting to wonder what else he was good at!!!