Concerns about primary school at KS1

[ninah]

My ds hasn't settled in to our small village primary at all well, and I'm not sure what to do next tbh. He started in a mixed group of reception/y1 when we were new to the area and really struggled to find friends. I spoke to the school but matters didn't improve significantly. I was also unhappy with the teaching arrangements and felt staff were really struggling to provide resources for this mixed age/ability group of 29 children. I am much happier with the year 1/2 teacher but he still says he has no friends etc, and recently I learned - from him, not from the school, that he has been moved down a group in maths. We have had one parents evening so far this year where we were allocated a five minute slot and I haven't seen his work apart from odd bits of homework. He seems to go for periods of around a fortnight without being heard to read although when I raised this I was told that they probably just forgot to note it in his book. I find the school in general defensive and unapproachable, the one occasion I spoke to the head to clarify the mixed group arrangements he virtually lost his temper with me. On the plus side it's a friendly school within walking distance and the stats are OK. If you've read this far, would you persist in trying to sort things out or just look around for alternatives?

Is your ds your first/only child? I ask because you seem a tad uptight about it all.
I don't know. If sats are fine then they are not really
struggling are they?

Sounds like a normal school to me, very much like our village school.

They are always going to be things that you don't like in a school.

I think you need to give it a bit longer tbh.

I don't think you sound uptight at all. Why wouldn't you want to be informed of group changes?

I would make an app with your ds's teacher and ask to see his books. Say you are happy to write what you would like to discuss so the teacher can be prepared. You then come across as not trying to catch anyone out. I think it's totally reasonable to want to see what your child is doing at school.

I am a mum to 2 (nearly 3) boys and was also a teacher.

I don't know if you had a scheduled appt with the head or if it was a bit rushed in school time.
First ask for an appt with his teacher to discuss his wellbeing during the school day,his work in general terms and how he gets along with the other children.
When you know more about it you can then move onto whether it is working out for you.
It may need a bit of time thats all.
Ask his teacher who he gets along with best so you could invite the child and parent over after school for an hour.

Keep it polite and not too intense and remember most children swap/don't have friends in school at this age.

stats retrospectively kitty. New head, and low numbers mean mixed year groups introduced last year. Also new reception teacher same time, and Ofsted gave reception class satisfactory with some adverse comments along the lines I've suggested. Not only child, not uptight, just feel concerned about lines of communication with school since previous discussion was not fruitful. That's exactly it muppetgirl I want to be informed, so I can support him, that's all. Good suggestion. I think his class teacher is fine so I will start the ball rolling with that.

ms the discussion with head - he rushed up to me at gate to say ds was going up to year 1/2 after reception - and I rang him the next day as I was a bit confused about the mixed grouping to ask about arrangements. I think he'd had irate parents asking questions so when I quite innocently asked him what syllabus etc ds would be studying and how it would work he went off on one and basically ranted at me.
I mentioned the social thing to class teacher and she promised to keep an eye. We do see one boy socially quite frequently but he apparently punches ds in school.
I will do that though. I am polite and not a pushy mum, honest!

when i started my youngest in reception i felt the school was defensive but now they are v communicative
sometimes its the personality of the headteacher

Also if you're not happy with how the head is and you don't get answers as to curriclum remember the governors are the ones to turn to. They are the ones who technically employ the head and also the ones who do his appraisal!

This is quite far down the line of not being happy though so I would follow my earlier suggestion first

I have very flexible groupings in my class and move children regularly, according to the piece of work, or concept involved. I don't inform the parents every time I do it. His class teacher obviously doesn't think it's particularly important either, but rather, a normal part of her teaching.

Make an appointment to see her and discuss it if you want to however, it really isn't a big deal.

Children's interpretations of "moving up/down" in classroom groups is not always the right one.

There isn't necessarily the strict academic hierachy of sets that we as paretns assume there is.

Speak to the teacher and mention your son saw his recent group move as a "demotion" and ask if that is her intepretation.

And make sure you look at his work - I used to go in once a half term to look at my dds work (many years ago now) - I was the only parent who did and the teacher practically fainted with anxiety (she seemed to feel I wanted to find fault) when I did it at first but was fine after a while!

We have regular book viewings at ds 1's school. This is fab as we can keep an eye as he does far more for us at home than he did at first at school. I wouldn't have known if I'd not seen.

Might not be true of your son, but sometimes kids say they've got no friends when actually they have. See what the teacher says about it. She might surprise you. Hope she does

oh thanks everyone I feel loads better now I will make that appointment
and like gagarin's point about asking her interpretation etc. and smee's about friends. I am bringing them up as lone parent and sometimes it's hard to know what is best, mulling it over on here definitely helped, thanks very much indeed