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Primary education

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Original poster

Should 7 year olds be able to go to the loo when they want?

26 replies

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 02/03/2009 18:33

DD's teacher has decided that they are no longer allowed to go to the loo apart from at break times. He's written it on the white board and according to DD his exact words were "and I don't care if you wet yourself".

Well guess what - DD wet herself today.

I understand it must be disruptive if there are kids getting up to go to the loo frequently and I've told her she muct go at break. But if she also needs to go during class I think she should be allowed. Do I email the class teacher and tell him what I think?

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thisisyesterday · 02/03/2009 18:35

hmmm, well I don't have a 7 yr old, but my 4 yr old is capable of going plenty long enough without a wee lol

i dunno, I suspect at 7 they are really old enough to be able to go during break times, and thus shouldn't need to go during lessons.

BUT, that said, if a child genuinely needs to go it is not a good idea to start making them withhold

gagarin · 02/03/2009 18:37

Did she really go at break time and then wet herself after break?

If she did I would be rather concerned as that sounds excessive wee-ing? Trip to the doctor?

Original poster

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 02/03/2009 18:50

I don't think she went at break time today, she said she didn't need to go at break time.

So I told her that she should go to the loo even at break even if she doesn't feel she needs to go. Then she said she sometimes needs to go at break and then in the lesson.

But I suspect she may be too bust playing at break and forgets to go. In that respect I guess the teacher is right and he's trying to ensure they go at break but then I also think that they're only 7 and if they forget they forget.

As an adult I will go to the loo in my lunch break but will then often need the loo an hour or so later as I'll have had a big drink at lunch. I wouldn't be happy if my employer said I couldn't go.

OP posts:

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 18:53

yes I think they should be allowed to go

Hulababy · 02/03/2009 18:55

I can see it from both sides.

I work in a Y1 class and even in there the teacher does, to an extent, restrict how often children can go out to the toilet.

one problem we find is that once one goes, a whole load will then want to follow suit. Also you then end up with children missing learning activities - so many ask to go during circle time, and this is reallyd isruptive not just for the teacher but for the other children. And the child going to the toilet misses lesson time - now it may only eem like 5 minutes, but 5 minutes may inlude missing what the focus activity is going to be, or some key piece of learning - meaning the teacher has to repeat. Fin if a ne off for one child - but again, if it becomes 2, 3, 4 children - a real pain.

A 7 year old should, IMO, be able to hold on between lessons. If they go before school starts, at break time, at lunch and then again at afternoon play then they shouldn't really need to be going again during learning time. The maximum amount of time between breaks is only 1.5 hours generally, sometimes less - surely most children at this age don't need to go that often?

If your DD has some medical reason for needing to go frequently then yes - tell the teacher and have her have permission to leave.

We do allow our infant classes to go if they are desperate but it is strongly discouraged and they are all given reminders before play times about going to the toilet.

Hulababy · 02/03/2009 18:57

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks - when I am in the classroom I can't just leave to go to the toilet. A a TA now I can't. I couldn't as a teacher, nor could I when I was working in the prison. I am used to having toilet breaks restricted by my employers. There are many people who are restricted from comfort breaks by employers for various reasons.

themildmanneredjanitor · 02/03/2009 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrimmaTheNome · 02/03/2009 19:02

Definitely kids must be allowed permission to go if they need to. Otherwise it discourages some from drinking enough at school...which if the kid has a problem (small bladder) only exacerbates it. Having been through having a yr 3 prescribed copious quantities of water by the 'bedwetting nurse' and having to bolster her courage to insist on going if she needed to, this is a no-brainer.

ABetaDad · 02/03/2009 19:05

The teacher is behaving in a totally unacceptable manner in my view. Especially if he really did say what your DD said he did.

If he did this to my children I would go utterly bezerk and demand a meeting without delay with the headteacher.

onepieceofcremeegg · 02/03/2009 19:10

His comment about not caring if the children wet themselves is imo very harsh and unreasonable.

Wrt to visiting the loo between breaks, I think it depends on the individual child and most could wait.

I'm thinking they are only at school for 6 hours or 6.5 hours on average. If they have 2 breaks plus a longer lunch break then as someone said previously up the thread then they aren't going much longer than 1.5 hours between breaks.

However, as the child's mother only you and your child know if due to individual circumstances this is too much to expect. If you genuinely feel it is, then it isn't relevant what we think. If this is the case then in your position I would bring it up initially with the teacher, and if no joy then with the headteacher.

I would approach it calmly initially, going "beserk" etcand getting angry isn't helpful imo(as suggested by another poster)

Original poster

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 02/03/2009 19:53

I don't think they get an afternoon break, only a morning one. So they have 2.5 hours between end of lunchtime and hometime. Will have to double check that with DD tomorrow.

I'm going to see how it goes the rest of the week I think and remind DD daily to go to the loo at breaktime and lunchtime. See if she has any more accidents or not. If so I'll email the teacher.

OP posts:

nomoreamover · 02/03/2009 20:02

Yes it is disruptive to the class but how dare the teacher allow your DD to wet herself - absolutely unacceptable I feel.

I have only experience of teaching secondary age kids but even then I would always allow a toilet break - even for older ones (Would just have a surreptitious sniff when they returned to ensure no smoking had taken place....!) as I firmly believe that holding it in when you need a wee is very unhealthy - it allows urine to crystalise in the bladder or something biazarre like that -

Sorry if I'm repeating someone else but I only scanned the replies

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 20:30

I always let them go but I may ask them to wait until someone gets back (if they can't wait they tell me).

Leslaki · 02/03/2009 20:33

They should go - I would have a word with the teacher. bet it's nothim who has to clean up the mess.....

herbietea · 02/03/2009 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 20:40

how demeaning for dc to have to wet themselves and then get through the rest of their school day like that. Not to mention that urine stings on the legs.

What about a dc who has a solid to expulse? Holding that back is not a good idea at all, even if a dc does not have problems with constipation and many do.

JazzHands · 02/03/2009 21:01

I think the whole idea of forcing yourself to go when you don't need to and then having to hold it in for ages when you do sounds like a bad idea.

Having said that I am not a primary school teacher and DD is nowhere near that age!

But my gut instinct is that this was wrong. At 7 having to wet yourself because of the teacher would be mortifying and something you wouldn't forget i reckon. Really mean.

applepudding · 02/03/2009 21:34

I think your child's teacher is totally ooo and if that was my child (also 7) I would definitely be speaking to the HT.

slightlyonedgemum · 02/03/2009 21:47

My son has been told by his teacher that they have to go to the toilet at break time too (his class is year 3 and 4). If he gets really desperate he finds the courage to ask to go and the teacher does a little disappointed yes. Sounds silly but it means he's now remembering to go the the loo before we leave the house in the morning and making sure he goes during breaks. So, I think they should be told no but in emergencies the teacher should let them go.

Reallytired · 03/03/2009 16:38

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks, does your daughter have special needs? If so, then the teacher is discriminating against and is unreasonable. Most neurologically typical seven year olds can easily hold on for an hour and half. If they wet themselves then its their own stupid fault.

If your daughter has no special needs then I think its quite reasonable for her to go at break. However the teacher needs to remind the class to go at break.

I would not have any problems with a teacher refusing to let my son go to the toilet during lessons. He is in year 2 and fully toilet trained. My son's teacher was complaining that my son was using going to the toilet as a way of getting out of hand writing practice. I have told my son's teacher to be strict with him, and take the tiny risk of him wetting his pants.

Original poster

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 03/03/2009 17:40

Well she's dyslexic, dyspraxic and has been assessed as having very poor working memory.

So she's very forgetful - I can send her upstairs to get something and she disappears for 20 minutes and then comes down without it, can't even rememebr she was asked to fetch something.

I can well imagine that she could be told at the start of break to go the loo and totally forget.

OP posts:

tootyflooty · 03/03/2009 17:51

If every child has to go each break time, they would spend most of their breaks in the loo queue. At that age it is a bit much to expect them to think " I don't actually need the loo now, but I'd better go anyway" It is the same at my dc school.I find some teachers are not at all child friendly.

Fizzylemonade · 03/03/2009 17:54

Stripey I posted this exact same thread about my son who is in yr1. They were restricted because "some" children were playing in there to get out of lessons.

My son was wetting himself about twice a week, then he had the humiliation of having his name put up on a board on the wall known as "the toilet list"

My son then refused to go to school because of this. We complained to the school and he is now allowed to go during lessons BUT his teacher is shitty with him when he does. He is 5yrs old FFS.

I also agree that "most" children can hold it but some just can't. My son can't, he has never been able to and neither can my DH

If your daughter wets herself surely that shows that she cannot hold it any longer when she is asking to go.

Milliways · 03/03/2009 18:02

There should never be a blanket rule for 7yr olds. My DD developed a terrible urine infection in Yr2 and was mortified to keep asking to go. I the end I spoke to the teacher and it was agreed she could just go without asking - in the circumstances.

Surelry they get to know the ones who are playing thr system and deal with them?

Good grief, from 9 some poor girls are having periods - hope THEY would be allowed to go!

gagarin · 03/03/2009 23:01

Given she has needs over and above the average dc I think you need to discuss this with the teacher.

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