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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

if your child gets into trouble at school and gets a punishment from the teacher

21 replies

nailpolish · 03/02/2009 15:16

do you punish them again at home?

eg
your child (6) gets into trouble for snatching some chalks from another child - time off 'goldentime'- child comes home and tells you all about it
would you issue a punishment of your own? dd1 is always getting into scrapes but i feel the punishment and shouting from the teacher is enough
wwyd

OP posts:

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Boco · 03/02/2009 15:20

I would probably just talk to her about it, reinforce why you shouldn't snatch, but not give another punishment.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 03/02/2009 15:21

No, leave it up to the teacher. ONe punishment is enough, especially for a minor offence like snatching. Even if she is 'always in scrapes' she is 6. I presume she isn't joyriding or shoplifting yet, and I would imagine that she's not the only kid in the class who commits all these minor offences anyway - 6 year olds do misbehave.
Excessive punishment is a bad idea anyway - it leaves you with nowhere to go if the DC do something really bad in future.

kingprawntikka · 03/02/2009 15:21

Well I wouldn't punish them again, but I would have a chat with them and make it clear I agreed with their teacher.I think its very important to reinforce respect for their teacher,

RubyRioja · 03/02/2009 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigTillyMint · 03/02/2009 15:25

Same as all above - it has been dealt with at school.

Original poster

nailpolish · 03/02/2009 15:25

yes thank you thats what i thought

she is only 6 you are right and she completely knows what she did wrong so all i can do is talk toher about it

im just pleased she offered me the information

i remember even at that early age hiding every thing from my parents

OP posts:

PortAndLemon · 03/02/2009 15:27

I wouldn't punish them again. Certainly not in that example, anyway -- I can imagine that in some really serious cases it might be appropriate, but those would be few and far between.

OrmIrian · 03/02/2009 15:34

No I don't. We'd have a chat - usually along the lines of 'no Miss X is not mean and horrible, and no she isn't picking on you, it's not OK to forget your HW/drop Z's pencil case down the grating/constantly talk in class'.

smartiejake · 03/02/2009 15:35

I agree with the above posters. She might not be so open if she knows she will get a repeat punishment from you. I would just let them know how disappointed I was in them.

However for more serious offences such as repeated rudeness/ disobedience/ swearing/ bullying I many well give out another punishment. But one would assume that you would not have to rely on the child to tell you about something like this as the school should contact you under those circumstances.

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 03/02/2009 15:37

Not unless it was serious - like bullying, gobshitedness or stealing. Other than that, I'd consider it dealt with.

I would discuss it, to reenforce the message, but I wouldn't punish a second time.

sorrento · 03/02/2009 16:14

No they don't get told off by the teacher for what haapens at home so it doesn't work the other way either.

Reallytired · 03/02/2009 17:08

I would admire my son's honesty for telling me if he had misbehaved at school. I might gently ask him why he did X.

However if I had a complaint from a teacher about my son then I would punish him.

melissa75 · 03/02/2009 17:51

I agree with the above posters as well, speaking as both a parent and a teacher, I think the conseuqence they have been given at school is likely enough (of course depending on the severity) but I think it is SO important to show a united stand with the teacher, and let your child know that you are really pleased they told you about what had happened, but that even though they told you the truth does not make what they did ok, and just talk about your general disappointment in their behaviour and then let that be the end of it. If it continues at school, then another approach would likely have to be considered both by the school and yourselves, but thats a whole seperate issue!

pagwatch · 03/02/2009 18:00

No I would never punish twice. thats just not fair and will discourage honesty about hwat is happening at school.
i would talk it through though to make sure DC understood what they had done was wrong and why.

I have also told Ds when I thought he had been treated badly at school - punished when not in the wrong. I hated that situation.

Karamazov · 03/02/2009 19:01

Agree with Really tired. If it was for something minor and DD told me herself, then I wouldn't say anything. But last term she was really naughty (she's in reception) and the teacher had a word, so then I did - I wouldn't let her go to ballet after school, she stayed at home and wrote a letter of apology instead. I'd do the same again. If the teacher thinks it is significant enough to tell you then I think it is important to be seen to back the teacher up. I would do this even if I disagreed with what the teacher said - otherwise how can we expect teachers to have discipline if we undermine their authority all the time.

mrsdisorganised · 03/02/2009 19:03

No. Agree with Pagwatch.

poopscoop · 03/02/2009 19:05

no. been dealt with at the time. They won;t tell you anything next time if they know they are up for a 2nd punishment.

Tamarto · 03/02/2009 19:09

No, but if the school were to involve me, I.E. phonong home, depending on the issue i may.

cory · 03/02/2009 20:10

I would make it clear that I agreed with the teacher (always assuming that I did), but wouldn't want to undermine teacher's authority by issuing a new punishment, as if she couldn't keep them under control on her own. If they have been punished, I would assume it has taken effect.

And like Pagwatch I have always wanted them to feel that they can tell me what's happened at school.

Hulababy · 03/02/2009 20:11

I'd have a chat but not punish again, unless it was for a serious misdemenaour/

muppetgirl · 03/02/2009 20:21

If it is a one off and not his usual self then yes I let it lie but if it is the same as I am experiencing at home then I work with the school by asking how they deal with it and telling then how I am thus ensuring continuity.

Ds 1 is not listening/concentrating but he has a form of glandular fever so laps of concentration can be due to excessive tiredness. I tell them if he's tired in the mornings and allowences are made.

I was a teacher and appreciated parent support even if it was just a chat with the child of 'Mrs Muppet had a word today, can you tell me what she might have said...?'

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