should i change schools?

[Yingers74]

My dd1 attends an all girls primary school and I had my doubts about it as dd1 is quite a tom boy. She seemed to be ok in reception but in year 1, things have gone a bit pear shaped. The other tom boyish girls left at the end of reception and she is now surrounded by HSM loving princesses, and is finding it hard socially. She does not seem to particularly like any of her classmates and she has told me that she gets a lot of stick about having a ben 10 lunch box. She wants me to move her to her friend's mixed school (a boy). She is not unhappy but at the same time she is not happy. I don't know whether I should seriously try to get her into another school or simply leave her and hope for the best.

Anyone?

Is there just one class in her year group? Have you spoken to the teachers at all (who may either confirm your concerns or not).

I would say that locally Year 1 seems to be a peak year and it is very hard to get another place - even in the independent sector.

Coo you're a bit hasty, bumping ! How many in her class? There are probably a minority of similar girls at dd's school(30 girls in year coed school), she sort of hovers between both camps but they seem pretty tolerant of each other. She used to be more tomboyish and reserved but has grown into a bit mroe girly and inerested in dance(yr3) which has helped. Changign schools will not necessarily shift that balance I'm afraid.

Yes there is only one class. I have not checked with the teachers which I will do although I have to say they are not particularly approachable. I know from my friend that there is a place at this other school. I am just afraid that she will go there and it will be the same or she will actively hate it! Perhaps I am over thinking it all!

18 girls

The difficult is she may nto have that much mroe chocie of firneds anywhere else. ime The boys and girls play togetrh until year one then it becoems mroe divided , with boys playing football etc en mass. So whilst she may have a friend there for now he may not want to exclusively play with her ofr very long. One of dd's best friends is a boy who started Reception with her but they no longer play together at playtime.

apologies, appalling spelling due to one handed typing

I take it we're talking private?
What are your T&C about moving her?
I think you should go and see her teachers. Get their take on it, she who she plays with etc and then have some playdates. Just because she is a tom boy now, she might not remain so. Also bear in mind that she might not be being entirely truthful. ds2 tells me all sorts of stories about being left out,.. very few of them are true.

It does take a minute or two to type out a reply!

I'm not sure that I would move schools on just that one issue. However I would be looking carefully at the school to see what sort of ethos it had further up the school, and what opportunities might be open to her to enjoy what comes naturally say in sport. Are you happy with the school in other respects? I have to say that I would be unhappy if I felt that my dcs form teachers were unapproachable.

I do feel a bit like I am damned if i do and damned if I don't! I think I might arrange a visit and see if she can spend a day at this school to see if she likes it.

As Ingles has pointed out you probably have to give a full terms notice so you'll be paying until the end of the sumer term now 9unless your school allows you ti give 2 half-terms notice but not all will.

I think you need to make sure she has realistic expectations of the mix of children at the other one and that she cannot rely on her current friend alone.

I do have other issues with the school but I was willing to over look it if dd1 was happy. In fact we had already made the decision that dd2 would not follow her sister before this cropped up.

I think you are all right & i need to get all the facts first before taking any kind of action. I am surprised at how stressed I feel.