5 year olds feeling the pressure - are all schools the same?

[paddingtonbear1]

Some of you will already know from previous threads that my dd, 5 and in y1, has struggled ever since starting school. This morning I was chatting to another mum whose dd is in the same class, and her dd has been complaining that they only ever do work, work work and they do lots of things to time, and if they don't finish they have to stay back (assume in break). Her dd has always kept up with the work, (unlike mine), but is complaining about the pressure!
Isn't this a shame when they are only 5? I assume all schools are the same, all this basically comes from the govt?
I wish we lived in Scandinavia sometimes just for their school system!!

No, they are not all the same!

My son went to a school like this in his reception year. I found it very 'driven' and pressurised. There seemed precious little fun around.

That school feeds into a junior school which, in turn, churns out a high rate of accepted applicants for the local selective grammars. This is where the pressure comes from. They concentrate on the 'mechanics' of education - literacy/numeracy - to the expense of everything else e.g. imagination, creativity, team work etc

My son is now at a LOVELY local primary where the teachers smile and look like they are having a good time and that they actually like the children. They do loads of great stuff and fun activities and he loves going to school. The teachers are inventive and creative and passionate about what they do.

They let children be children and in concentrating on the way each child learns (e.g. sitting at a desk been spoken at all day doesn't suit everyone), they get the best out of them.

dd's school sounds like your son's reception school debs. I get the impression that all schools in my area are the same though, but I could be wrong.

"I wish we lived in Scandinavia sometimes just for their school system!! "

You do know you don't have to send her ever if you dont' want to, don't you? Or at least keep her out until you/she feel she's ready for that level of formal work?

Not all schools are like that. My two DCs areat a local primary which operates in a very different way, reception and to a certain extent is learning through play. Further up the school, lessons are based around a theme each term - no maths or reading or writing is done unless linked to that theme in some way. It makes the learning so much more fun and interesting as the children feel that they are learning about a topinc, and don't really notice leaning to read, write or do maths. Loads of trips, activities and visitors too. It's fantastic.

I think you never know until you look around. I thought that too but I couldn't have been more wrong.

When you know what you don't like about a school, you can look at others and ask their Head very direct questions. You can tell by the way they answer you if they are on your wavelength.

I'm not suggesting you change schools but keep an open mind. My son is so much happier. It was the best decision I ever made.

Schools are a real learning curve!

I think that the national curriculum is to blame.

In our school, reception is lovely, lots of learning through play. Then in year one children suddenly find themselves having to sit at tables and do work. It is an incredible shock to many of them after reception. I wish the learning through play was extended through the whole of KS1, with lots in year 1 and a significant amount in year 2.

If I could stay at home and HE her I'd consider it, but I can't - I have to work for financial reasons.
was your son really miserable at his original school debs?
dd isn't miserable (never wants to go to school, but that could be the same wherever), but has no confidence and really struggles to keep up. We've started doing extra with her at weekends now.
I like the sound of your school seeline!
Madsometimes I agree, it would be so much better!

Hi

My son wasn't really miserable, I just got to the point that I thought this was such an unimaginative way to teach children. I really resented the qualities they seemed to value above all else at the school - children who sat in silence at 5 and got on with their work. I thought that was neither age appropriate or fair.

In the long run, this sort of teaching does children a disservice as it drums creativity out of them.

Someone sent me this
which summed up the whole issue for me.

I just wanted better for him.

thanks for the link. Have spoken to dh and decided to ring another local school for an appointment, just to see what their philosophy is and how they would deal with a child like dd (very imaginative, a daydreamer who hates sitting at a desk all day!)
We might not move her, but it would be good to get a different perspective.
dd's current school has their own 'standard' for pupils which is above the national average, and I think it's quite pushy. Dd isn't perfect herself by any means but I don't know if this is what I want for her.

Good for you. No need to do anything rash but you know your child best and you are being a good mum by looking at all the options. It was certainly the scariest but best decision I ever made!

Good schools welcome children with imagination - it is such an important foundation for later learning - and all children deserve to be valued for their own talents.

I sent my DD to the "best" school in the area and what a big mistake. The emphasis was on results and nothing about teaching the whole child. I am quite an academic person but it felt wrong. The values of the school were on "looking good" and not on how to develop a human being. Bullying was ignored and special needs were not noticed.

We stuck the big "right" school for 3 years. Then luckily we moved and I chose a very different school - 100 pupil, religous and very much focused on values. I was slightly worried that it would be very strict. How far from the truth. My kids now have fun at school in a place which feels more like an extended family. I help out quite often and am warmly welcomed in and I can see what goes on there. The ratio of adults to children is really impressive.

Schools are definitely not all the same - checking out your options is definitely worth it - good luck

I knew from the off that I could not send my DCs to an exam factory where the NC was adhered to like a bomb disposal manual.
I knew I wanted sport and music and drama and art and discussions...
I found it but the disgrace is I have to pay.
I feel very very angry that so many parents are not afforded the same choices.
Good luck with yours.

My DD is in Y1 in a state school and she seems to have a lot of fun at school. I sometimes jokingly ask her 'Have you done any work at school this week or just played?' However from the vast amount of progress she has made since September I know she is learning lots & lots. She is very lucky to have a teacher who can get her class so excited about things, that they do not realize they are learning at the same time.
The school, is not a particulary good school, but my daughter is really happy there, and I think that makes it easier to learn. I would suggest having a look at other local schools, your child might do better at a less pressured school.

I currently teach in a school as you described, and I agree, I hate it, I wish there was a time for the children, especially in the afternoon, to just have some time to play. They learn so much that way, not to mention the social aspect of it for them and learning to get along with one another and how to work in a group to solve a problem, like a puzzle. Unfortunately, there is just SO much to get through in the NC that is impossible to allow the children this luxury once they reach KS1. England is one of the only countries in the world that has children in full day school at the age of 4. I am from Canada and trained there, and our children start 1/2 day from 4-6 years and then start full day when they are 6. It is much better because they have had time to get used to be being at school, but still have a half day to be at home or outside of the formal setting of school. But then, also in other countries, the curriculum is not so prescribed. The NC does not allow for ANY creativity or imagination on the part of the children or the teacher. They are told exactly what to do, how to do it and when to do it. So sometimes I wonder why I went to teachers college, when all I have to do is read a NC lesson plan and spit it out. It is really rather sad, because all it does is spin out models of one another at the other end of their education. Children are not taught to think for themselves, they have no idea how to do it because they do not have to. Anyway, thats not the point of this post, sorry to go off on a tangent! I just get really frustrated by the prescribed nature of the NC.

no, not all schools are like this. we passed up the local school that seems to be preferred for just this reason, too pushy. we're in wales and lucky that our school is trialing the foundation stage so pretty much everything is done through play, lots of lessons outside, lots of trips etc. dd is coming along in leaps and bounds.

are there any other local schools that you could visit, see if they have a more rounded ethos?

no, not all schools are like this. we passed up the local school that seems to be preferred for just this reason, too pushy. we're in wales and lucky that our school is trialing the foundation stage so pretty much everything is done through play, lots of lessons outside, lots of trips etc. dd is coming along in leaps and bounds.

are there any other local schools that you could visit, see if they have a more rounded ethos?

oops

oh and just seen op went to see another school - how was it?

Hi, we are in Wales and while KS1 is not so play based as reception it seems much more chilled than in England, plus I think it is becoming even more so with the new Foundation Stage (sadly dd just missed this) which has a big emphasis on time outside, learning through interacting with nature etc (or at least it seems to in dd's school). DD is a real dreamer and not good at sit down formal work, and she does still struggle a bit but I'm sure it would be worse in England!