Don't know how to handle this ....

[lulu2]

dd is in reception and is happy at school, she is making friends and enjoying learning, she is just very clingy when i drop her off and 9 times out of ten i have to hand her to the teacher or classroom assistant. She rarely cries but just grabs onto me and won't let go. About 30 seconds later she is fine by all accounts.
This morning when handing her to the assistant she muttered something about having to meet dd at the school gate but i didn't want to question her as dd would have grabbed hold of me again. I was so upset when i got home cos i feel like it is my fault, i really want dd to be happy going into school and i feel like a bad mother..
Any ideas please.

It sounds as if she has simply got into the habit of saying goodbye to you like this.

If she is happy while at school, engaging and making friends, then I wouldn't worry.

Perhaps you could experiment with a new 'ritual' for saying goodbye.

thanks Blu. i don't want to make this into a big deal for her.

What is the system for putting children in?

I used to deliberately arrive early so that DS would be playing with his friends in the playground before the bell went, and would already have bonded with them and have his focus on them, rather then me when he went in.

playground open from 8.45 and bell goes at 8.55 when we go into class and hang coat, put bookbag away and kids then supposed to go sit on the rug ready for the register. We usually get to school early and dd runs around the playground with her friends then once in class and it is time to sit on the rug she gets all clingy.

dd1 did this too, mainly in year 1. I think it did become a habit, and she did enjoy the attention. I got over it by using a star chart. We sat down one night with her Dad and discussed the problem with her. We all agreed that it had to stop. She would get a treat if she managed to go a full week without having a tantrum. Eventually the problem went away.

I think the assistant's comment about meeting your dd at the school gate might be a good idea, if she was serious about it rather than it being a grumble IYSWIM. That moves the "saying goodbye" bit away from the point where she's getting wound up, which might be enough for her to get over it.

Very common IME.

thanks for the comments. I will have a word with dd's teacher as soon as she is available. we already have a star chart on the go at the moment so didn't want to confuse her.

But if she is basically happy at school, I don't think this will last, so don't worry too much about it.

thanks blu. She loves school and apart from the going in bit she has settled in really well.