What would you do?

[Tiasmummy]

I know this situation happens so many times to so many people, but I just wanted your opinions.

Last week Tuesday my daughter came home with another little girls polo shirt on (they wear a yellow polo shirt with the schools logo underneath their jumpers). It was PE day so they must have mixed them up getting changed and what not. I know this kind of thing must happen all the time so I just washed it and sent it back in with my daughter the next day with a little note attached.

The next day I asked the teacher if the little girls mum had returned my daughters polo shirt yet?..she said the lady TOOK back her shirt and then when asked about mine said ?I dont know anything about it?!!!

The day the mix up happened her daughter obviously came home with a shirt that was not hers as I had hers. I understand that you might get home and not notice if your child has the wrong item on....but the moment a teacher hands yours back from another parent then common sense would tell you that you MUST have somebody elses right??
Now my daughter is one shirt down because this lady is denying all knowledge of it. Its truly not about the money its the principle of her just keeping something that is not hers.

She has had 2 days to go home and look for it but we still have not received anything back.

I wrote her a note today and sent my daughter in with it so that her teacher can pass it on to this lady. The note says words to the effect of:

Dear Ms ..

Last week Tuesday my daughter came home with your daughters polo shirt. I have returned this and Miss....has given it back to you. We still have not received my daughters back and I am assuming your daughter was wearing it that day. Could you please return it? If this is not the case then please could you tell me whose shirt your daughter came home wearing that day so I can ask them if they have it.

Does anybody think I am going over the top with this? Like I said it is not about the money but the principle....even though the uniform shop is quite a way from where I live! Please let me know what you think.

Thanks

How do you know it was a straight swap? My ds's clothes regularly go missing on PE day and he can end up wearing a mix of other boys clothes. It doesn't mean that if he is wearing X's sweatshirt that X will be wearing his. It could be A, B or C. It can take a couple of weeks sometimes to get things back. Items can get washed without being name-checked and then worn again before the mistake is noticed.

MollieO - If you read through what I wrote properly you will see that I did state in my letter to her "If this is not the case then please could you tell me whose shirt your daughter came home wearing that day so I can ask them if they have it". So I am well aware that it may have been a 3,4 5... or whatever way swap.

Dd1s complete PE kit disappeared a few weeks into Y7, she checked everywhere. It turned up at the end of Y8 having been slung into the back of a never-used PE cupboard. .

My SIL told me a good trick to avoid uniform theft esp re big itens like coats and blazers..

As well as putting the name tape in the usual place ie the collar, also sew one in an unusual place eg inside an inside pocket or inside a sleeve. Therefore when you are checking pegs for a missing item, even if the obvious nametape has been changed by the theif, you can look for the other one to prove it is yours

Genius!

Willali - Thats a good idea. I may have to start sewing labels on the actual outside of clothes too, eg on the sleeve, to deter the thieves further! lol!

Violet - Wonder how on earth it ended up there!!! My daughter is only in reception so looks as if I have YEARS of uniform issues to contend with!

I always sew 2-3 name tapes in clothes and write names on two. One is always in a strange place just in case.

Tiasmummy, my advice would be to put a note up on the classroom window saying your someone has gone home in your daughter's polo shirt after PE and would the Mums's mind checking their child's tops.

Some mothers just don't notice if their child is in the wrong kit.

DS1 came home with the wrong PE kit on thursday and they have to wear it to school on a friday as they have swimming.

So Friday morning i turn up at school and tell the teacher and locate DS's PE bag which is empty. The other child was in my DS's PE kit even though he is a lot bigger than my child and the trousers were up round his knees - goodness knows how his mother didn't notice.

So we just swapped their clothes over in the classroom.

Not everyone is as anal as me though about clothes.

Accidental mixups do happen a lot and I think it's not worth getting miffed about it. It might not be the other woman's fault. I personally am another one who takes quite a while to get through the washing (3 dear sons including one who wets himself regularly and is always coming back with someone else's clothes on because of that, despite carrying labelled spares in his bag.) So I would also feel quite stressed getting a letter like that. I think the idea of putting a note in the window is great. I also sew name labels in various random places.

I am shocked by the coat stealing though

The excuse of "some mother's just don't notice if their child has brough home another child's clothes" is totally irrelivant in this situation.

Tiasmummy has clearly said that she returned the other child's t-shirt. That alone should have the alarm bells ringing in the other mother's (theiving) head, as any normal person would then think.... "hold on, someone has returned my child's t-shirt.... hmmmmmmm that must mean i have their t-shirt!"

IMO there are only three possible reasons for this missing t-shirt............

1. The mother is an opportunistic thief who has seen seized the chance to gain an item of clothing that they are too cheap or too lazy to go and buy themselves
2. She simply can't be bothered to seek and return the t-shirt, or
3. She is thick.

Hmmm...I must say I think it certainly is getting miffed about to be honest. I dont buy my child clothes only for somebody else to hang on to them....and then just let them think they can get away with it. Like seeker and myself have said..the minute she got hers back whe would be aware that she must have somebody elses. Yeah its only a polo shirt but its the principle.

Whoops sorry I mean myself and Silverback have both said....

Actually there is another possibility - it might not have been the child in question who was wearing that shirt that day - the swap having taken place earlier without anyone noticing.

Sorry RustyBear, I don't quite get your point?!?!?

Maybe her dd went home not wearing a polo-shirt at all, just the sweatshirt. Because someones child (yours!) had nicked hers.....and your dds shirt is still somewhere to be located at school...hmmmm??!!!!!!!

Was your DD's top named?

My son has come home wearing his PE t-shirt and no shirt at all many times. Other mum probably thinks you're being a loon about this. Ask school if you can have one from the lost property box to replace your own.

OK silverback - this is what I meant - some time ago, the girl in question (girl A) and another child (child B) got the wrong shirts - Child A went home in child B's shirt (which may not have had a name in it)If it hasn't, Child A's mum either hasn't noticed her daughter has an unmarked shirt, or saw it and thought 'Oh, I must have forgotten to mark it', and did so. Child B's mum meanwhile has not noticed Child B has A's shirt.

Last Tuesday, the OP's DD (Child C) and Child B swapped shirts - Child B now has Child C's shirt, Child C has Child A's, Child A has Child B's(which may or may not be marked)

And if you think that is so complicated as to be unlikely, believe me, in 14 years of helping/working in a junior school, I have encountered many far more complicated situations with regard to children's clothing - including one where a child came home wearing a shirt bearing the logo of a completely different school....

I BET the other mum has OP's daughter's t-shirt!!

Well done for the diplomacy shown by a lot of you, HOWEVER I can bet this is simply a case of harbouring "stolen" goods or pure laziness in returning them.

Maybe the OP will update us if there are any developments..... but i've just got a feeling about this one!!

MillyR ooh wish I'd been a fly on the wall!!

My ds went to school one day brand new clearly labeled polo shirt - never to be seen again. Luckily ours aren't logo and can get in Supermarket but even so - it was ours and some bugger's had it!!

Also ds's labelled lovely bright red hoody disappeared from the pegs at a Beavers Christmas disco. You would have thought some mother would have noticed by now!!

I caused confusion once by sending my child to school in a sweatshirt still labelled with the name of a child who had left the school 5 years previously. It had been worn by my dd, then gone back to the original owner's little brother then on to my ds. Still with the original name in it. Who says modern school uniforms aren't good quality!