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DD being picked on by another girl in her class (if she was older would saying 'being bullied') What did you do in this situation?

16 replies

ChugtasticCrew · 19/01/2009 07:27

DD is in Year One. She was reluctant to go to school on Friday, was in floods of tears last night saying she couldn't sleep and was worried that because she couldn't sleep she might not be able to be good at school (one of the things the other child has been doing is telling dd she is being naughty, dd loves school and is not naughty at all!) This morning she is making a half hearted attempt at saying she is ill.
I spoke to the teacher about it on Friday. She said she is aware of the problem but she is part time and not in until Thursday again.
I just feel so bad for dd who really does love school and is a bright, popular little girl. She has never not wanted to go to school before. What else can I do? The fact that this has continued over the weekend has worried me.
I obviously will send her to school (before I get told too! )

OP posts:
ShannaraTiger · 19/01/2009 07:29

What a horrible situation. I would have a word with teacher this morning, also keep reassuring her that she is not naughty. Good luck

ChugtasticCrew · 19/01/2009 07:31

Thanks! I can't see the teacher this morning as I'm working today Is it OTT to phone this morning and speak to the teacher who is in today? Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I don't want to be one of those fussy mothers but she's my baaaaaaabyyyyyy

OP posts:
MrsBrendaDyson · 19/01/2009 07:32

if you have the balls, i would have a word with the mum too.

ChugtasticCrew · 19/01/2009 07:33

Oh I have the balls I just don't know whether to leave it with the school to try before I put my oar in.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 19/01/2009 07:45

Can you send a note in, in her reading record or whatever?

I wouldn't talk to the mum, unless you know her well.

FourArms · 19/01/2009 07:51

I would perhaps give your DD a note and ask her to give it to the teacher first thing. They might not look at the reading records until later in the day.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 19/01/2009 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dizzymac · 19/01/2009 07:58

If it helps, I am a part time primary teacher and anything that was brought to me on a Friday I would speak to my job share partner about over the weekend. If your DD is suffering I would contact school and speak to the other teacher. I would be more than happy for you to do this if you were one of my parents.

hippipotami · 19/01/2009 08:06

When ds had a problem with a girl in his class (whom he was sitting next to) we saw the teacher on Friday afternoon after school. She too was jobshare. First thing Monday morning the other jobshare teacher moved ds away from this girl in class to another table. So they obviously communicated at some point.

I would imagine all jobshare teachers have some sort of 'handover' communication.

Paperchase · 19/01/2009 08:15

Yes phone the teacher.
Don't speak to the other child's mother - you will almost certainly make things worse and will be embarrassed when the two girls end up being friends.

Make a list of what to ask the teacher - what should you say to dd to bolster her confidence (which will have taken a knock), what is the school's policy, how will the teachers be dealing with it, do the lunchtime staff get informed and what can they do etc. You need a clear plan of action so you can say to dd 'Here is what we are going to do'.

And year one is old enough to use the term 'bullied' imo.

wotulookinat · 19/01/2009 08:25

Ah that's a sad situation to be in and I completely understand how you feel. If I were you, I would speak to the school ASAP - could you ring and speak to a senior teacher who could pass the message on to your child's teacher today?
You're not getting the other child in trouble in any way, merely stopping something that is upsetting your DD. It would be awful if this resulted in your child having a long-term problem with school.
If you can, speak to the other mum too and explain it calmly. Hopefully she'll be good about it and have a word.

GooseyLoosey · 19/01/2009 08:51

Agree with what has been said about talking to the school, but would not speak to the mother. When a similar situation arose in dd's reception class recently and one mother spoke to another as well as taking the matter up with the school, the school were very clear that she should not have spoken directly to the other parent and were not that happy about it.

ChugtasticCrew · 19/01/2009 15:55

Quick update! I did speak to her other teacher (I rang school), she was absolutely fantastic and very sympathetic, she has told dd to go to her anytime and has spoken to the other girl too.
DD says the other girl has only been mean once today so that's an improvement
Thanks for all the help.

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 19/01/2009 19:06

fingers crossed that it keeps going in the right direction

Paperchase · 19/01/2009 19:07

Glad to hear it.

lljkk · 19/01/2009 19:24

Lots of little girls say quite horrid things to each other from about this age (I am sorry to say). DD has complained often about how X is her friend today, X is not her friend today, X has decided to be her friend again, after all (etc.). In Yr1, DD seemed to pin her entire happiness around the state of her friendship with X.

The thing is, X's mum has completely blanked me ever since the end of Reception, and I have a suspician that DD is giving as good as she gets, really (so X is complaining about DD, too). I was very pleased when for Yr2 DD was put in a different class from X (I was told this was partly because DD kept coming in from breaktime in floods of tears, over "social" problems).

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