sending your children to different schools

[daysoftheweek]

Please can I ask if anyone has any comments to make on how they found this/whether they considered it and rejected it etc.

We are considering doing this for our children and my dh is less convinced than I am so we would value hearing about others experience.

Schools are in London so about 10 minutes apart so pick-ups drop-offs possible, one is stronger in an area our dc is showing some signs of being good at (as much as you can tell at 3/4/5!!)the younger one is totally in the pocket of the older (something I am more concerned about than dh who was the big brother in his family) but perhaps most importantly we are having some reservations as to whether made the right choice initially.
However I am concerned the older will be upset if younger sib goes to a different school (some facilities are better but I don't think we would move oldest, only 2 years left.)

Help us decide please (only a couple of days left in which to do so!!)

Thanks for your views

It's really common around here (Sydney) to do just that with private schools. I met a woman at our school's awards evening - the school is mixed and goes from 3-18 so can take all - who said she had one DS there, one DD at an all girls high school and another son at a different mixed school. When I asked why she said she chose schools dependent on the child's personality and talents (and the majority of kids - even littlies - get school buses here so drop off/pick up is less of an issue). I know a woman with four kids who does the same.

I think it's great in theory as one size definitely doesn't fit all, but one of the unexpected benefits of my kids (Y10, Y4 and Kindy so big gaps) being in the same school is the "shared experience" thing. It has really brought them closer being on the same site and knowing some of the same people. Their conversations about school are interesting to listen to. If yours would only be in the same place for two years though that wouldn't be an argument in favour. In your shoes I would do my usual major decision thing of drawing up a list of pros and cons and see what you come up with - good luck.

I would always send them to the same school. The shared experience is so important - and it's lovely for them to be able to look out for each other. Anything which builds a sense of friendship and "linkage" between siblings is very important.

There's a mum who has a child in my ds2's reception class who is doing this (she has to as her chosen school where her other child is at was oversubscribed and she didn't want to move the older one).

I have to say, most days she looks horribly stressed out rushing between one school and the other. To get the timings right, she either has to leave one child alone in the playground (and hope they get in all right) or bring the other one in late (the breakfast club in one is full, the other doesn't have one I don't think). Pick ups are slightly easier as one finishes slightly earlier than the other, but it doesn't leave her much time to chat or get to know other parents.

Feeling involved and being in the loop with what is going on at your child's school is much much harder when divided between two as well, and there have been inevitable clashes between events (parents evenings, christmas plays etc).

It's not something I would actively choose to do if I could possibly avoid it.

Thanks all. I still havn't decided but it's very helpful to hear about others experiences

Quite a lot do that in our school, there are loads with one in our school and one in private. I don't know of anyone with children in 2 different state schools unless they are waiting for a sibling place to come up

I think it's good for a child's identity to go to a different school from their sibling(s). It allows them to be an individual and not 'so and so's brother / sister' I know that many may disagree though.

Thanks again, I'd welcome any more views, I still can't decide!

personally, I would not do this.

I had a year of my five being in four different schools (one was in seniors, the others I pulled out pne at a time when the spaces came up to put into differnet schools as I was unhappy with the teaching, leaving me split), and it was hell!

I am proud to say they were never once late (helped by slightly staggered timings), nor picked up late either, but it was not fun for me, and I never got to know anyone at any of the schools, making it hard for my children trying to make friends and visit other houses etc.

parent evenings were hard....as were concerts and fundraising events, as I was split in loyalties and the children were wanting me to pay out lots for things I didn;t agree with etc.

but

it didn;t do any harm to the children, and now looking back it may have actually helped them become more independant as they were happy for me to not hang about waving till the very last minute of them going into school.

I would never recommend it tho unless you are actually willing to cope with the franticness of the school runs, and you have back-ups in place for emergencies.

I have only had one week of my older two being at two different schools and it's tiring me out, so personally I wouldn't recommend it. The schools are also only 10-15 mins apart but I feel like I hardly see ds1 (currently he's being dropped off at a friend's before school so I can get ds2 to his school on time).

I applied for both to move but ds2's place came up first. It's ds1 that I think will benefit most from the change. Initially I was a bit guilty about moving ds2 just because of his brother, but he is settling in well so now I think the change will be good for both of them.

I intend to do just that with senior school but not for primary, they learn to read and write and play at primary school and that is all it is for, really make your life easy and encourage talents outside of the 6 hours a day the school has them for.

The most important factor imo is to find the RIGHT school for each child, whether or not their siblings happen to go there or not!

My dd and ds go to different schools about 2kms apart. They both LOVE their schools and having 'their own' friends and teachers and, most importantly, are at schools that suit them very well.

Had they happened to go the same school that would have been great too. I honestly don't mind the extra logistical effort of bringing them to their two schools if it means they ara both happy!

Me and my husband discussed this last night regarding secondary school and I said different school . For this reason my daughters are in Yr 3 and 4 at the minute. They never been apart now my oldest is out there loud bubbly and my youngest is funically gaining confidence and comeing out but lately my oldest is trying to involve herself in everything and is very overpowering and jealous to the extent she befriending her friends so she doesnt miss out in any occasion. So I think different schools will be the was forward so my youngest doesn't have to worry about following her sister foot steeps and can't delop in herself . As later on in life there gonna have there life . And my oldest can develop. She very soical unaware and if she on her own I belive it will change overtime as she won't have her sister to fall back on as her younger sister often talk to her friends to let her sister in her group of friends .and my youngest is very interested in school and my oldest is not so much so I don't want them to be conpaired . The school have said on my many occasions my youngest is a different child when her sister is not at school (sickness) she let's her personality out around the school . And my youngest report back and tells me everything her sister does which winds mu oldest up . But I will probably miss that 😕 she will always be my 1st baby 👶

And the minute they say they want to go to the same school but one will be in secondary before the other so we can have a year trail to see if it's beneficial for both

But if it doesn't work I wouldn't hesitate to put them together