Starting school and soo tired. Have any of you let them have a day off...?

[Smee]

DS is doing so brilliantly in that he wants to go and isn't crying about it! He started on Thursday last week, so this is only day four but will be his first full week. Trouble is that he looks exhausted already and finds the days long as they're longer than he ever did at nursery. He only ever went there for 3 sessions a week.
So what I want to know is, is it acceptable/ a good idea to let them skip a day to recouperate? Am very tempted, as am worried it'll put him off if he's too tired.

Bless! How old is he?

Can you just keep him home after lunch?

Does he come home for lunch?

My Ds started school full-time last year at 3 (France) but even this year I occasionally let him stay at the childminder's after lunch for a rest.

He'll be five at the end of May. I think it's partly because he's not used to that long a day, but also because it's all so new. I'm not a great believer in kids having time off and I certainly don't want to set a pattern, but looking at him he's ready to drop..

I would.

He stays for lunch, as he likes his food. According to him, dinner time is the best part of the day .

Dd is a late Aug birthday and started in Sept and her class teacher has actually suggested it! (Not as helpful as it sounds as dh and I both work so now we are left feeling as though we are letting dd down).

Ah, that's hard Goosey. I'm lucky in that I work from home, so can take the time if he needs it. I might see if I can corner his teacher and see what she thinks. Kind of impossible though to speak to her when he's not around.

I did this occasionally all through Primary school! If he's full time, I think it's better to have, say, Friday off occasionally than to come home at lunchtime - he might not want to come home if the teacher has told them what they are going to be doing in the afternoon.

Yes, I owuld.
They don't have ot go until after their 5th birthday.
Our school is very happy for parents ot do this.

That's a thought - Friday off would mean he's got two days to go. He'd understand that and I needn't tell him school's actually open either. Still might see what the teacher thinks. She's very lovely, so I have a feeling she'll have some wisdom on it all.

I would. Or ask teacher if you can pick him up after lunch once or twice this week - you could always phone and leave a message??

littlerach - that's interesting that your school approves. Is that common then?

I was wondering about this as well. DS is in his 2nd term in reception, but has only just started back this term with full days and is just exhausted. This is leading to awful behaviour in the evenings because he just doesn't seem to be able to articulate his tiredness.

The other mums at school are all reporting the same thing,so maybe a rest day wouldn't go amiss . The good news is that he is being wonderful at school (touch wood)!!!!

Have to admit though, I don't think the school would encourage it..

I would ask the teacher which days she would prefer. Our school don't like fridays for eg as they have special assemblies.

I'm not sure that schools do encourage it, but very little, very tired children serve no purpose for themselves or others by being in a classroom.

I think most schools wouldn't have a problem - they like to help them get settled in as easily as possible. So what if it takes a while!

Good thoughts all, so thanks. Reassuring to hear he's not alone - I'm worried it will put him off if he's too tired. Will try and talk to teacher when I pick him up.

Yes I did. DD1 stopped eating again recently and as a result is making herself ill. On friday she looked awfull. She had dark rings around her eyes was v v white and her cheeks looked hollow.

She didn't eat any breakfast and told me she would not be eating lunch at school either. And she has lost two pounds in weight.

She had been in her dance play all week but was in bed no later than usual because of this and she usually dances most nights anyway.

I made the descion to keep her off based on her appearance and how she seemed in herself. I had not decided if she would take part in the play that night. I was going to see how she looked/felt when I got home from work and see if she had eaten anything. When I got home she looked ten times worse and had only had a few spoons of porridge so I decided not to mention the play to her as clearly she was not well enough to do it.

Then my mum told me that some bitch from the council had been to her house to discuss dd1's absence with her. And had declared in front of dd1 that she would not be able to take part in the play. She phoned the dance school to tell them and her school.

I am incensed that all of this happened while I was at work, no one has the right to discuss my child with anyone but me unless they have my permission to do so. And they have no right just turning up on my mothers doorstep either.

All of this happened in front of my just turned five year old dd1 who is now scared to stay off school even if she is ill. Incase "the school police come back".

DD1 had a week off in her first term because of chicken pox and then I sent her back too early. She still hadn't fully recovered and was tired and eating poorly and generally unwell by the end of the week so she had the friday of the next week off two. Apart from that she had two days off due to a tummy bug and that's it. I DO NOT keep my child away from school unneccassarily and I am outraged that the council/school took these actions behind my back.

Just a warning for anyone who keeps their child out of schoool for any reason. If you are unlucky enough to have an arsey haedteacher and council you will have to go through this.

Oh and this is the first day off she had had since turning five last month.

Oh my - sounds deeply draconian for a lo and your poor daughter. + surely if she's tired, not eating, etc that counts as being ill and you're being a good mother for keeping her away, not a bad one. Why did they go to the house? Was it because you should have called in to explain why she wasn't at school or something? Seems bizarre.
I hope she starts eating again soon. Is that a normal thing for her when she's stressed, or do you think she's sickening for something?

She has had eating issues all of her life and is underweight as a result, she had been seeing a specialist because of this untill about a year ago when I discharged her because we weren't getting anything from it. The school are aware of this.

The school now I have explained have a councillor who comes in on thurs morning who is going to help find ways to tackle this issue with dd1.

I was meant to call the school. I called twice but no one answered and no answer phone kicked in to leave a message and I had to get to work.

No one had tried to call me at work. The council's attendance officer called my gran who is dd1's emergency contact and demanded to know where dd1 was. My nan was worried and didn't know what to do/say so she gave them my mums address. Ten mins later they were on my mums doorstep.

Blimey - good to know that they follow up on unexplained absence, but it still sounds a bit over zealous. I think I'd have a bit of a chat to the school about their phone system, and also question why they didn't call you at work. If nothing else it upset your DD and they should be made to see that's far from helpful - especially as she's finding life tricky in some ways. I hope the school counsellor helps with her eating. I have a friend who's lo is being helped by the school counsellor too and she's full of praise for them. Fingers crossed for you.

So your 5 year old dd had 8 days off and the school sent the attendance officer round? I find this completely bizarre. And phoning the dance school to tell them that your dd couldn't perform sounds WAY over the top. How did they get the number, anyway? How did they even know about the dance show?

And the school should have an answerphone for messages. I would take this up with them. And make sure they've got your work and mobile numbers.

Just a thought. Could whoever was looking after your dd have phoned the school for you? Or could you have rung from work? It is good that the school was concerned that a child wasn't where they should have been and they didn't know why - but sending the attendance officer round seems very odd.