How much communication do you get from your childs school? What should I expect

[mummyeme]

My dd started reception last Tuesday and I've had no communication from the school whatsoever, I'm new to all this so don't know whats the norm now and wanted to ask before I go into the school.
Dd started last Tues, she has a book bag in which an envelope of letters and phonics sheet have been sent, also a medical form and wotnot but not once has anything been handed to me personally and I've been given no idea of how to work through the sheets and letters with her (I don't want to teach her in the wrong way). The only communication that has been sent is a letter saying that parents should teach the correct letter formation.
I literally drop dd off outside her classroom and pick her up at the end of the day, there isn't any timetable up so I can't tell her that she's doing pe on a certain day, I've got no idea what to expect but I did ask her teacher how she was getting on and just got a "she's fine", end of conversation. There is nothing at all from teacher to parent or from the school at all and her book bag is like a postal service where things just appear but nothing is explained.
Also, she had pe for the first time yesterday and came out from school in a total mess, no buttons on her polo shirt or cardi done up, her T-shirt wasn't tucked in and her skirt wasn't even on properly oh and her tights were round her knees. Pe was in the morning so she'd been left like it all day which made me really annoyed.
Sorry for the long essay, but please can anyone help with whether this is normal, only 9 started last week (bet. 3 classes) so they aren't completely overwhelmed with new children to settle.

Did you have a meeting with the teacher before your DD started school, to go through what to expect? If not, then yes I would certainly expect that the school, and in particular the teacher, would give you more info. I know it can be difficult to get to speak to the teachers especially when there are lots of new children, but I think you should have a word at the end of the day, just to say you are confused about what you should be doing etc (our school discourages parents from trying to chat to teacher at beginning of the day as it disturbs the school routine if there are half a dozen mums trying to sort stuff out) At our school they generally arrange a parents evening about half way through the first term so you can have a proper chat.

January starters tend to get the short straw in terms of communication, I find.

Ask for an appointment to speak to her teacher - they don't like trying to fit you in at the beginning or end of the day.

Or, put a note in her book bag with your questions.

It took me a year to realise I was supposed to write back to the teacher in dd's reading book.

As for PE. Um. Get used to your child not looking smart. On PE days, send her in trousers and a jumper. She'll come out with stuff on back-to-front but she won't care. The buttons on her polo shirt won't be done up but her jumper will be over the top so it won't matter. She'll get the hang of it.

Speaking as a TA working within a reception class I would make a little 5 minute apointment to see her rather than trying to grab her at the end of the day. Its really difficult for teachers to give a parent full attention at the end of a day when there are also 30 plus other parents also trying to have a quick word about something.

As for the PE like fruitful says, get use to your DD coming home looking untidy, you have no idea how difficult it is to get 30 children dress and undressed for PE, its chaos I think one of the best thing a parent can do to help their child to get on in reception is to teach them how to fasten buttons, took clothes in and pull up tights

Our school set up a "reading meeting" to explain to us what was expected - but it was a few weeks into the term! Helpful nonetheless. Until that point I wasn't sure what was expected of us either.

Exactly the same for us with PE too! I just asked which day PE was going to be on and always sent her in trousers on that day.

And bookbags are how letters come home to us as well.

We had a parents' evening probably about 4 weeks into the term.

I think there was an expectation that we would just know what to do with things - lots of the other mums already had children in other classes so they knew the score, but dd's teacher and TA were always available if I needed to ask anything at the start and end of each day and never minded.

I found the mornings a better time to speak to them and just after the intial rush of everyone arriving (we have 10 mins between the 1st bell when the can start going in to the classroom and the 2nd bell).

Thanks everyone for helping much appreciated

In addition to what others have said - can you chat to one or two of the other mums whose children have been in the class longer? They will have sussed out things like which is P.E. day etc. When dd was in Reception there was a timetable on the window of the classroom for parents to see when they did music, assembley, guided reading etc. It was very helpful, I don't know why all schools don't do that.

My dd (Y1) still often comes out of school on a PE day with her PE t-shirt on under her pinafore rather than her proper blouse / polo neck. But she has learnt to stop putting things on inside out and back to front at least!

Sounds like we are lucky.....
We had a new parent meeting before dd started in Sept (which included discussing key things it would be really useful if the children could do - eg: go to toilet alone, put coat on, change for pe) then a meeting a couple of weeks in which explained teaching methods in reception, what parents could do to help etc.

We get regular school newsletters, plus class letters mapping out what is planned for the term, plus specific letters about wellie walks/cake sales/anything else that requires extra effort....

We also get "ask me about" homework book sent home every couple of weeks which explains what has recently been covered at school and suggests ideas of how this can be supported at home. (maybe few words to practice reading & writing, talk about days of week, draw a picture etc.)

We had Parent/Teacher meetings half way through 1st term...

Finally in reception we can take children into class in am and have brief word with teacher if necessary. At end of day they are brought out, but teacher is always there and approachable.

However, dd did come home with her pe shorts under her tights yesterday.....