does anyone elses 5yr old cry and claim to be ill going to school every day??

[Nemoandthefishes]

Ds was 5 in oct and in reception and every day he crys when we get to the playground and claims he is ill etc. I physically had to drag him into class this morning but once he saw the teacher he was fine and seems fine during the school hours. How can I stop this fight every morning?

It's very common IME for children in infants to go through a stage of separation anxiety. I'd have a quiet word with the teacher to see if there is anything particularly worrying him, but if he is happy at school, then it probably just is normal separation anxiety and will pass with time.

thanks cory
only thing is he has gone through this off anf on for the last year and a bit since starting nursery

oh poor little lad

I haven't had this myself, but have seen several children in both my DCs classes do this - DS1 is in year 2 now and there is a little girl who still does it quite often . Sorry if that doesn't really reassure you!! I'm just trying to say that I think it's quite common, like cory said maybe the teacher can help. Good luck

I just had a quick look at your profile and realise you have 2 other children, and like me you are a sahm.

I think part of it maybe that your son realises that his siblings get to stay home and play with mummy. I had this with my ds1. He would get very clingy.

Lots of other children cry in the mornings (I never noticed because I was too busy trying to comfort my own son) it is completely normal.

The best thing is that when he sees his teacher he is ok. I didn't have that, my ds cried when he was going in. I was fortunate that we had a fantastic reception teacher who was a no nonsense type, who just took my wee boy's hand and said "now come on X, we have lots to do today, let's get inside and get your coat off" and off he went.

It should get better maybe if he made a particular friend and they found each other in the playground and went in together.

he has a lot of friends and have just seen him on the playground when I went to pick up the dds and he is happily playing came over said hello gave girls a cuddle then ran off to play. So I know he is generally settled in school I just dont know why he does the crying in the morning.

I have this with my DD every morning, she is also in reception. She crys lots, hangs on to my, chases after me. I realised she does it though to get the teachers attention as the teacher always giver her a special job and she goes off hand in hand with her smiling, she never wants to leave school either.

We had a boy like this once and it turned out that until he saw his teacher he thought he was going to have a supply teacher who he didn't like. Is this possible in your case?

Dd3 screamed every day going into yr1 so I can sympathise. Even now, 5 years later, she can't put into words why!

I am going through this with my 5 yr old Ds at the moment too.

He had a short time in nursery where hecried going in, but it stopped after about 6 weeks.

He started Reception in Sep and went in fine, loved it etc, then he got the flu bug going about at the end of Nov. After that we had so much trouble with him being upset that his teachers thought it best he stayed at home till after Xmas. This wasn't something I was happy about, but although I tried to get him into school , they said he was so upset they thought it best he stayed home.

Now come January, he thinks if he says he's poorly or he gets upset, he will not have to go in. So, every morning I get crying from about 8 o'clock till he goes in at 9.

At the beginning of term I explained to the teachers, and they are now being very good and just come to the door, and take him in.They say he settles very quickly, he's having no problems and gets on well with every one. He comes out every afternoon, full of beans and excitedly telling me about how wonderful his day has been, every evening I think he'll be better tomorrow, yet in the morning we are back to tears again.

I think it's just seperation anxiety, I just hope it stops soon.

I had the same with my DD, she went in for months no problem, then started crying. I honestly tried everything without much sucess. It had really become a habit more than anything.

In the end the thing that worked was bribery a small incentive, if she could get into school with no fuss then there would be a small surprise at pick up time. Started off with an activity book but very soon scaled down the rewards, nothing mega, just usually a hairclip, a few stickers, or even a new toothbrush, stuff she probably would've had anyway. Since going back after xmas she has had just 1 thing at the beginning of the week, probably soon we will drop them completely. We also developed a small routine of saying goodbye, waving etc which seems to help.

I am totally not a "rewards and punishmnts" type of parent btw, but I do thing rewards can have their place in changing ingrained habits sometimes.