Y4 residential trip, ds doesnt want to go. Do I insist ?

[bunny3]

Ds, 8 (and with a variety of SN) has a school trip (2 nights residential) coming up. He wanted to go but was hesitant and nervous. I paid the deposit hoping he would go but now he is adamant that he doesnt wat to. As I have paid the deposit (and school is insisting I pay full amount regardless of whether he goes or not) do I make him go?

oh difficult one...
I suppose only you know him well enough to make that decision....so you think he would cope? Will he understand why he has to go, i.e. because he originally wanted to go and you now have to pay no matter what?
Realy don't know...but I know I would be very begrudging about paying for a trip my Kids don't go on....but if I would think my child would be really upset....well..I suppose I wouldn'tmake them go...
Sorry, no help at all, am I?

I saw your other thread.
If this is the first time he has ever flaked out and not wanted to go after all, I would let him not go this time and impose no penalty on him.... But demand he make a minimum 10 pound deposit out of his own pocket money for any future activities like this (where they have to pay in advance). In the future if he flakes out like this, he loses his deposit.

Can you tell I have BTDT with my own DS?

I guess that You will pay the full amount either way, so it's really up to you which outcome will make you least unhappy, sending him away unhappy or letting him stay home much happier but you spending money for nothing.

I've also posted on your other thread.

Last year for our trip (older children) we had a girl who was very worried for weeks in advance and wasn't sure she would want to come. In the end she did come, she was very homesick on the first night, but had a whale of a time and was pleased she did it.

We also had a child who was in tears when the coach arrived. The parents refused to say "Don't be daft, the money's paid, just get on the coach and get on with it", but insisted it was her decision and that if she wasn't happy they wouldn't make her go. She didn't get on the coach (this is the first time this has ever happened at my school) and she has subsequently told me that she desperately regrets it, and wishes her parents had made her go.