Does anyone else feel bad when their dc's are off ill AGAIN!

MincePirateCat · 2008-12-18T15:05:46+00:00

DD was off about a month ago for a week. She is ill again the past two days and off school, altho she went in mon and tues. She breaks up tommorrow, so i see little point in her going when she is still poorly. I don't want her to pick up any more f ing bugs. Yet I also always feel bad when she misses school thru ill health. You get those end of year attendance reports, and dd's is alway quite high. She has mild asthma and these cold and cough bugs get her everytime.

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Myrrhcy · 18/12/2008 15:09

How old is your dd?

Mine had quite a lot of time off in Reception and Yr1, less so in Yr2 and now in Yr3 her immune system seems to have developed.

I don't feel bad about dc being off ill.

LyraSilver · 18/12/2008 15:24

I dont think I have had a week since after the October break without one of my dcs' being ill. You name it we have had it.. coughs, colds, chest infections, several tummy bugs, ds2 was sent home yesterday with yet another bout of sickness, which resulted in a vey long and sleepless night for me! Hoping keeping him confined to his room will prevent the rest of them from catching it, I know its a long shot!He is asthmatic too and seems to catch everything thats going.

juuule · 18/12/2008 15:31

No, I wouldn't feel bad.
Why are you bothered about end of year attendance reports if your dd has been off ill. I wouldn't give them another thought.
If it's better for her to keep her off when she's ill then that's the way it should be. Don't worry about it.

georgiemum · 18/12/2008 15:39

No. Especially since the parents who send their kids to school when they are really really ill don't seem to be bothered (and these are parents who are at home during the day). That's one reason why the bugs just keep on rollin' around...

Original poster

MincePirateCat · 18/12/2008 15:41

hi, the only reason i am bothered is becuase a whileback when my ex dh was treating us rather badly, I ended up getting upset at the school. The head got the welfare officer type person to ring, and instead of asking what was happening for us the first thing she said was, ' oh i see that piratekitten's attendance is well below what it should be' I think this comment stuck with me.

I personally don't give a crap about her attendance, if it's down to illness iyswim. I just developed t a guilty conscience about it from what that woman said. Afterall there were worse tings happeneing at the time too.

Also dd got upset that she coudln't do the work she was given to do, i mean really distruaght, and her teacher, when i approached her said 'oh well it's becuase she's missed so much'!!!!!

I was feckin livid, i thought, well give her some stuff to do so she can keep up then. I bit my tongue and said, well can you get together some sheets of work that we can do at home to get up tp scratch.

dd is yr 2. I guess i need not be so bothered.

OP posts:

juuule · 18/12/2008 15:48

Can't you cover the things she's having problems with at school by doing stuff with her at home if she's off for prolonged periods (if she's well enough)? Or checking with her or her teacher what she's done during the days back at school so that you can arrange things yourself to help her catch up?
I would ask the teacher what work they are doing in school but I wouldn't expect her to do any more than tell you or perhaps reserve any photocopies that were used in class for the other children.
As for the guilt about your dd being off ill, try to drop that. If she's unwell enough not to go to school then it's right that you keep her off.

Original poster

MincePirateCat · 18/12/2008 15:53

i will def ask form now on. they seem to cover so little one oweek ,then lots in another. thisi s what i found out anyhow the week she had off a few weeks back.

I just thought that instead of getting dd to do some really difficuly maths, when she got back that they would have automatically (there one teacher and 2 assistants for 23 kids)given her some of the easier stuff. it being a new subject--coins etc..

it was her flakey teacher that got to me really, 'oh she's missed so much'

i was like, 'well, what do you normally do then, in these instances??' grr

i am ill too, so just fed up!! roll on xmas.

OP posts:

TotalChaos · 18/12/2008 15:56

I feel slightly bad too, but given DS has been sent home 3 or 4 times this term at least school know he's just very prone to minor illness and that I'm not taking the piss. I am starting to wonder for what level of absence educational welfare might be involved though......and as DS has got measles, he's had to be off all this week.

Original poster

MincePirateCat · 18/12/2008 15:59

the head only suggested to me about the welfare person ringing to check me and dd were ok,. it wasn't anything to do with any attendence issues.

turns out, the woman who rang was the 'locum' welfare woman. When i told dd's teacher at the time what she had said about dd's attendence she was , and said 'what the bloody hell is she on abuot, you must tell 'John'' the head.

i couldn't be assed tbh at the time.

OP posts:

Original poster

MincePirateCat · 18/12/2008 16:00

totalchaos, glad you understand where i am coming from.
It's v annoying when your dc's tend to pick up everything going. She is alot better today than yesterday but i am not sending her in 2morro, she needs rest, and no new bugs.

OP posts:

cory · 18/12/2008 16:13

We had a lot of trouble with dd's head and the welfare officer. Dd has a bona fide disability and the school was being showered with letters from the school nurse, paediatrician, local hospital, GP asking them to accept that she was off a lot but head who was obsessed with attendance record kept nagging the welfare people and even brought Social Services in. They glared at him and refused to get involved.

From what the head let slip to me in private conversation, he was hoping dd would leave and go elsewhere so his statistics would improve.

Ah well, in the end it was the head, not dd who left due to health issues.

Myrrhcy · 18/12/2008 16:17

That's appalling cory.

I thought EWO's only became involved when there was genuine cause for concern (not necessarily related to the amount of days taken off)

cory · 18/12/2008 16:23

Well, dd did have a very high absence record- around 37% in primary school. And in a sense there was genuine cause for concern, because she was suffering ( she got good results though). They just seemed to think that nagging me about the importance of education would do the trick. I've worked in education all my life!

The first EWO we saw was very good, she listened and understood. The second seemed totally incompetent, couldn't even do her paperwork without asking for help, and was totally dominated by head, who was a bit of a bully.

Since the head retired, we haven't seen the slightest glimpse of an EWO. Two years later, dd is still off a lot (though not quite as much), but school is supportive and her results are good.

Original poster

MincePirateCat · 18/12/2008 16:41

glad things have improved then cory, that's just f ing ridiculous.

I feel better. Just seen my neighbour, who says there are about ten kids per class off atm, and the school dance this evening is cancelled due to there not being any teachers able to man it, due to illness.

OP posts:

squatchette · 18/12/2008 16:56

Our school is the same at the moment half have got a respiratory bug and the other half have a D&V type thing or so it seems.
I too feel guilty when my dds are off mainly dd1 who like corys daughter has a disability.
On the other hand my dd had to miss 6 weeks of school last term due to her one to one TA being ill.Now if she'd missed that much school through her own ill health they'd have been making a fuss.

cory · 18/12/2008 18:27

Same here, squatchette. I was at a meeting to discuss dds attendance record where the head of admin was present: she had just been absent for several days because of breaking her arm and they made ever such a fuss over her. But dd's case was treated as a disciplinary issue. I suppose the head of admin's mum wasn't around to be blamed

truedaisyfriend · 09/01/2009 18:50

hi, just to add a note - ny 5 year old went straight into year one in September as the school had no reception place to offer her last year. Since september she has had 8 days off school with illness. Today we had a very unsuccessful meeting with the evil head teacher and an ewo. They seem to fail to understand when a child starts school they get every bug going. The head teacher suggest we find another school as we are bringing her attendance records down. I am furious. We have a well behaved, bright child who is never late and dedicated to her work. How many days off school is too many?
Any thoughts....

bigTillyMint · 09/01/2009 18:57

TDF I can't believe the Head said that!

I wouldn't worry too much about missing a bit of school at this age.

Perhaps you should try sending DC in (if they seem just a little under the weather, not really pooly, of course) and then see what the school thinks about whether they should be at home or keeping the attendance figures up

bigTillyMint · 09/01/2009 18:59

Squatchette, did you say your DD couldn't go to school because her TA was off?

Surely that's illegal? They should either use another TA / get agency staff in. No child should be stopped from going to school because the TA is ill

ByTheSea · 09/01/2009 19:17

I feel bad too. My story is very similar to OP's. DD1-9 in Year 5 missed a week of school in mid December and now she was sent home Wednesday afternoon from school unwell and has been off ever since. DH and I have both had the bug and are having a hard time shaking it off too. DD1 has probably missed more school this year than she has in all her other years put together. Thankfully, she is doing very well academically so I don't have to worry about her falling behind. And our headteacher would never ask us to find another school -- that's appalling!

melly407 · 17/01/2009 00:40

Hi all,
Well im more scared than ever after reading certain posts regarding children being asked to leave the school as it does not look good for their stats!!
DD1 is in year 2 and has a fair amount of time off due to bugs going around.
Recieved a letter in the week saying that a meeting is to be held Monday coming with a EWO and senco officer.
Under no cercumstances does DD1 have special needs, she is in top groups for all subjects and even has been identified as being very bright in maths, so they give her extra work for this subject. So i cant understand why a Senco officer is going to be there.
Apparently from all the reasearch i have done on this, if a childs attendance falls below 80% then it is classed as poor.
DD1 was 79% (including being late made it 69%) But when i say late, we are literelly minuites. she even gets in to answer the register, but as we have to go through the office this is marked as late!!
I spoke to the EWO on the phone, stroppy cow, she was one of them that speaks over you, a bully. As the week has worn on, im so ready for this cow on Monday. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated though!!

melly407 · 17/01/2009 00:52

Hi all,
Well im more scared than ever after reading certain posts regarding children being asked to leave the school as it does not look good for their stats!!
DD1 is in year 2 and has a fair amount of time off due to bugs going around.
Recieved a letter in the week saying that a meeting is to be held Monday coming with a EWO and senco officer.
Under no cercumstances does DD1 have special needs, she is in top groups for all subjects and even has been identified as being very bright in maths, so they give her extra work for this subject. So i cant understand why a Senco officer is going to be there.
Apparently from all the reasearch i have done on this, if a childs attendance falls below 80% then it is classed as poor.
DD1 was 79% (including being late made it 69%) But when i say late, we are literelly minuites. she even gets in to answer the register, but as we have to go through the office this is marked as late!!
I spoke to the EWO on the phone, stroppy cow, she was one of them that speaks over you, a bully. As the week has worn on, im so ready for this cow on Monday. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated though!!

melly407 · 17/01/2009 00:52

Hi all,
Well im more scared than ever after reading certain posts regarding children being asked to leave the school as it does not look good for their stats!!
DD1 is in year 2 and has a fair amount of time off due to bugs going around.
Recieved a letter in the week saying that a meeting is to be held Monday coming with a EWO and senco officer.
Under no cercumstances does DD1 have special needs, she is in top groups for all subjects and even has been identified as being very bright in maths, so they give her extra work for this subject. So i cant understand why a Senco officer is going to be there.
Apparently from all the reasearch i have done on this, if a childs attendance falls below 80% then it is classed as poor.
DD1 was 79% (including being late made it 69%) But when i say late, we are literelly minuites. she even gets in to answer the register, but as we have to go through the office this is marked as late!!
I spoke to the EWO on the phone, stroppy cow, she was one of them that speaks over you, a bully. As the week has worn on, im so ready for this cow on Monday. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated though!!

melly407 · 17/01/2009 00:55

Hi all,
Well im more scared than ever after reading certain posts regarding children being asked to leave the school as it does not look good for their stats!!
DD1 is in year 2 and has a fair amount of time off due to bugs going around.
Recieved a letter in the week saying that a meeting is to be held Monday coming with a EWO and senco officer.
Under no cercumstances does DD1 have special needs, she is in top groups for all subjects and even has been identified as being very bright in maths, so they give her extra work for this subject. So i cant understand why a Senco officer is going to be there.
Apparently from all the reasearch i have done on this, if a childs attendance falls below 80% then it is classed as poor.
DD1 was 79% (including being late made it 69%) But when i say late, we are literelly minuites. she even gets in to answer the register, but as we have to go through the office this is marked as late!!
I spoke to the EWO on the phone, stroppy cow, she was one of them that speaks over you, a bully. As the week has worn on, im so ready for this cow on Monday. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated though!!

melly407 · 17/01/2009 00:57

omg, i though it was not coming up, the post that is.
Well if you missed it the first time, you can read it over and over again!! lol