daughter age 8 being left when told to get into pairs

[t875]

My daughter has started a new class in juniors. They split the classes and she didnt end up being with her best friends as they went into another class. She has gone very shy and into herself as there are very bossy children in her class and 5 of the girls got to stay together from their classes {different to my daughter}in infants so basically they have been together from the begining of infants.

because my daughter only stuck with these two girls and she hasnt got them in her class she is aleinated herself a bit from other children.

BIG problem though is...the teacher is asking them to get into pairs and no one is chosing her.

I am thinking maybe to ask my friend to ask her boy how my daughter is being in class, if maybe its her fault, he also is being left on his own..
thinking to ask the teacher about her also, how she is interating...

She literally asked 6 children today and they said no "im going with...

I am annoyed that the teacher has done this, as all the children that dont get a partner its looking like they are not liked/popular and its bothering her now..which in turn is bothering me.

Been through it...any advise???
I feel sad for my daughter i am working on her to make more effort building her confidence, im even getting her a new hair style tomorrow as hers looks a bit drab...and I have said for her not to play with her best friends at break as she is alienating herself..

I know this long, but any advise will be great.
thanks

She'll alienate herself even further if she's not allowed to play with her best friends at break.

Yes, she needs to make a bit more effort with making friends in her own class, but stopping her playing with the girls she sees as her only friends would be needlessly cruel and is likely to make her self-confidence worse rather than better.

Can you have a word with the teacher? If the teacher is aware that your daughter is isolating herself, she should be able to help engineer situations - setting your daughter up with another child to do some work, or maybe finding her a partner herself.

At my daughter's school, the children are put into pairs by the teacher and stay in those pairs for a few weeks until they are shuffled around again. Everything they do with a partner, they do in these pairs. Maybe your daughter's teacher would be receptive to doing that for a while?

Another suggestion: perhaps your daughter could pair up with your friend's son, as he is in the same boat? There's nothing that says she can only befriend girls.

can you ask that your dd goes in the other class with her friends?

Talk to the teacher. If they've remixed the classes, they should be aware of the possible need to help re-integrate shy children.

Thanks so much for the replies

you are very right about splitting her from her friends and i know she wont, if anything we have said limit yourself, but i see what you mean. It is so much of a better idea with the partners and the teacher sorting it, there are a few left and starting a new class you would think the teacher would see this.

We are thinking of doing this Dinny with the other friends but..the two girls, the mums manipulate the situation that they stay as a 2 quite a lot and will try and keep it that way as much as they can. But the kids like playing together, apart from jealousy from one of the girls of her friend if my daughter plays with her friend.

sorry probably sounds very confusing.
we are seriously thinking of changing her class though.

The teacher is quite hard to approach (not that it will stop me) but she is very laid back and sometimes forgets they are 1st year juniors i swear she thinks they are 10/11 sometimes. She is too laid back.

There are more chiefs in the class than indians, children telling eachother you stand there, you sit there, intimidation is starting to settle in and I dont actually think she can see it.

It is hard to be aware of everything going on in a classroom - tell the teacher.

if you don't have faith that the teacher can sort it, speak to the head, I would

I'll try her, but if i have no joy then i think i will bring it up with the head.

Thanks for your advise

A new hair do can work wonders - we all know that

hehe, thanks mspontipine that what i thought too. She is even saying she dont like her coat and feels its too big so i'm replacing that too!

Talk to the teacher. Although sometimes I let them find their own partners ( and sometimes it is right that they do), there are lots of other times it is best for the teacher to arrange the pairings and there are loads of fun ways to do it.. This way she gets to work and make friends with other people. Even if she were moved into the other class, she should not be encouraged to constantly pair up with her friends anyway. t