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5 replies

fidgetyfeet · 08/12/2008 10:46

I'm sitting here crying, meant to be working, but I can't focus - what should I do?
At school DS, 6 1/2, is in a class of mainly girls - 10 boys and 20 girls. Of the boys most of them are much more physical, more streetwise, just more 'boyish' I suppose than him. DS adores football, and although he plays he's not very good, but he knows his team inside out, all the rules, all the prem stats etc. Just more theoretical I suppose. He's had a best friend, who's SO similar to him they've always got on terribly well and are really like minded, and similar academically. But a couple of months ago his BF's mum expressed concerns about the friendship, not wanting the 2 of them to be insular - I can understand that, no-one wants their kid to be just with one other child I know. I've tried to understand where she's coming from - BF has other needs and is important for her and for him that he develop a wider friendship group. But whilst BF has an IEP so is getting stacks of support to widen his friendship group, all I see for DS is that he's just being excluded from things. For example they've been separated in class in order to develop links with other peers (i'm a bit well very cross about this as itr was never mentioned as an issue until BF's mum went onto school and had a chat - so I feel they're just doing it as a knee jerk to her concerns, and because of his special needs). He gets on with quite a few of the girls but now they're in Y2 they're all becoming quite girly and cliquey - I could see it just when I dropped him off this morning - all the girls exchanging Christmas cards and chatting, whilst DS is just standing in the middle of the line looking lost and anxious.
He's such a confident and outgoing child at home and I feel sick watching how he seems to shrink in other situations. I know I need to accept his personality type, and I do, I just worry when I see him being so different to how he is at home. God, if this was paper and ink it would all be stained by now. Shall I go and have a word or shall I leave it and assume he's ok when I'm not there?
Any advice appreciated!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nappyaddict · 08/12/2008 10:51

I would go and have a word. He might be completely different when your not there and it will put your mind at ease.

Secondly can you do anything to widen his friendships out of school? Swimming lessons, karate, drama perhaps? What is he interested in?

fidgetyfeet · 08/12/2008 10:56

Thanks nappyaddict you're right he may well be ok when I'm not there. Maybe I'm pre-menstrual too!
We do all of the above outside of school - karate, swimming, football, and he's got friends out of school too - it's just in the class that I worry.
I'll try to grab the teacher today and see what she says, thanks for listening!

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nappyaddict · 08/12/2008 11:18

Are there any clubs at school he could join? My cousins are in year 2 and are forever going to lunch time and after school clubs - cookery, gardening, drama, street dance, french club you name it!

fidgetyfeet · 08/12/2008 11:21

Think I'll move to your cousin's school! The problem with after school clubs is they don't fit around work unfortunately. There is football club after school, but I can't get there at 4.15 to pick up, and the childminder collects a few at 3.15 so can't really treck back up there an hour later to collect him. Good thought though, will bear it in mind. Ta

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 08/12/2008 11:23

Is there another mum who could collect him? Perhaps you could offer to pick their child up a different day or take them to school or something in return?

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