Christmas presents for Reception teachers - opinions appreciated

[Cheeseycheese]

My dd is in a Reception class of 30, there's one teacher and one teacher assistant. I thought I'd give them a good bottle of wine each for Xmas (£10 each) and a card from my dd. I just found out that the class rep is collecting money for a present for them. Whilst I agree that if all of us mums put some money together the teachers will get a much better well-deserved gift (be it vouchers or whatever), I do not agree with each person contributing with whatever they can afford. I hardly know any of the other mums so the concept of subsidising people who do not contribute at all or people who may just contribute with 50 pence is ludicrous. Equally, I do not expect other people to make up for me. What does everyone think? I totally understand that some families can't afford much and even 50 pence is a stretch but also, I have heard comments from other mums saying things like 'I'm just going to give £1, they get a salary, right?' I know I could just give a couple of quid to the pot and still give them a bottle of wine each, but I am still interested in learning people's thoughts. Would all of you be comfortable with people contributing with whatever they want?

personally think saying put in what you want is the best option - means that everyone who wants to can contribute, rather than feel pressurised into spending what they can ill afford. After all, not everyone wants to buy a present for the teacher.

I have organised the collection on the past btw, and always done what you want to give - there have been several threads here previous years about '£10 each, how the $^%££"$ can I afford that - 3 children that's £30 and I only spend £10 on my kids let alone the teacher....'

I really don't like this class rep collecting for the teacher thing.

I agree with roundcornvirgin.

However, I have no problem with a group of mothers deciding to club together to buy something extra nice, and splitting the cost fairly between them. Last year a particularly popular pre-school teacher at my DD's school got a fabulous spa day voucher from a small group of very happy mothers

yes i would

I agree with all of you, I do think £10 is too much for a lot of people specially if you have more than one child in school. Roundcornvirgin, I also don't like being approached for money, specially when it's the only reason a particular person would talk to me at all, but how else would a collection take place when there's 30 mums and we hardly know one another?

I think having a class collection takes some of the enjoyment away for the children. I'm a teacher and in my experience the children love to watch you open your gift. Also a class collection puts pressure on parents to give something even if they really can't afford to.

You are probably right. My DD loved giving presents to the teacher and especially the TA that she had chosen and wrapped herself, and she was so pleased when they asked her whether she had chosen the present specially for them and she could say yes.

One present I'll always remember was from a little girl when I worked in a very deprived area of Manchester. She was absolutely delighted when she came into school holding her present for me. I'll never forget the look of delight on her face, it was magical. She'd brought me a packet of biscuits wrapped up in a sheet of paper that she had decorated herself. It made me cry. She'd put so much thought and effort into it. Posh presents are nice but they really are unnecessary.

when I did a collection it was because several of us mums wanted to club together to get a present - I sent out a little slip to the whole class so if anyone wanted to contribute they could, so no-one felt left out, about half chose to contribute, others did their own thing or nothing at all, so all options covered. I certainly wouldn't want to pressurise anyone or assume anything

when asked if I was doing the same thing last year I so 'no.I'm not, but you can if you like, I'll contribute- and did so'

I did an end of term collection at my son's school and we were very careful not to step on people's toes. We made it clear in a little letter that we understood that people may want to do their own thing but that if they did think a collection was a good idea, they should contribute only what they felt able to.

You're not 'subsidising' anyone. You're being asked if you would like to make a contribution. If you do want to, you put in what you feel is appropriate. It's not a competition, it's a collection for a present.

ok, cheers everyone, good to get different points of view

i've got to say i think it's a better idea to get one pretty decent gift for each of them than 30 gifts of cheap tat and bottles they may not even drink.

and tbh... some people can afford more than others, better that it's all anonymous than those who aren't well off feel embarrassed at their obviously cheap crappy gifts, especially when handed in alongside far more expensive gifts.

dd's playschool teacher told me before summer, when i apologised at a lack of end of year gift as we had no cash that week, that it actually really annoyed her that some people felt the need to hand in expensive showy gifts and make a big fuss of it as she felt it pressurised people who couldn't afford it into spending money on her and she felt uncomfotable about that.

I assume our Class Rep will hold a collection, which I am happy to contribute, but my DS and I will make christmas decorations and homemade cards!

xx

Our class rep asked each of us to contribute £6 each. I have paid it but felt uneasy. Wouldn't it have been better to ask us to contribute whatever one could afford?

I plan to give the teachers and TAs homemade biscuits and truffles!

Last year I got them a bottle of M&S cava - that was very well received, and it's quite a festive drink - I think they get loads of chocolates.

When did all this gift-giving start anyway? When I were a girl (etc etc etc)... I am entirely Scrooge-like and think they are paid to do the job. A home-made card from the DC should be quite sufficient. I have friends who teach who can supply all their rellies with chocs/smellies for Christmas without having to spend a bean themselves, just on the strength of our bringing stuff in.

That said, I still feel the pressure to conform: this year will be buying an Oxfam school-desk or similar in teacher's name.

roundcornvirgin - as you're a teacher, what would you really like to receive?

I'm really struggling with what to get for DD's teacher. She's outstanding as a teacher, best in the school imho, so deserves something (was also great with DD when she struggled to settle at beginning of term) She doesn't drink (I'd be an alcoholic if I had to teach 32 kids every day), is v cool/groovy, not really girly, and will be away over xmas so no point buying flowers...

Subtlemouse, thanks for replying but when it comes to teachers, I couldn't disagree more with the 'they are paid to do the job' argument, as I believe that teachers are not paid fairly. In London particularly, the salary of a primary school teacher is just laughable, and it is SUCH a hard job to do.

On a different note, I am sorry if I seem to be picking on you, but the idea of an Oxfam school-desk is something I find presumptuous unless the recipient has expresed their desire to forgone a gift for a charitable donation.

Sorry, just my opinion.

I came on here today to specifically start a thread on this exact topic, but find it interesting to read what is already on here. I am a reception teacher, with 30 children in my class. I received 26 presents yesterday, and can honestly say thought was likely put into two of them, because the others were a box of chocolates or toiletries. Both of which are things that give me the impression that they were put into the cart in the weekly shop where it was bought for the sake of. Don't get me wrong, I do not want to seem ungrateful, but all of these presents were wrapped by an adult with a card written by the adult. all of my children know how to write their own name, but yet the majority of the cards were signed with the childs name but in an adults writing. Why bother? I must say, the best presents I receive are ones that are made by the child, where they have put effort into it, and thought based on what they know about me. I have enough mugs, boxes of chocolates and toiletries to last me the next 40 years....please, next year, have your child make something for their teacher, it would be much more appreciated, and it does not cost anything more than a piece of paper, maybe some markers, some tape and thats it!

I'm a reception teacher and honestly would prefer a simple "thank you" to all the gifts bought simply because people feel they should. I do my job and if you feel I have gone that extra mile for your child a thank you goes a long long way. A collection by a class parent rep would embarrass me and is totally unnecessary.

Well, my DS chose a mug for his teacher and was so proud and excited when he came home because she had opened it straight away and used it for her tea at break time. He was really chuffed. Who knows whether she actually used it or not? - but she was sweet enough to tell him she did and he was so pleased.

Hope she's not as ungrateful as you, melissa! It may have only been a mug but DS chose it for her and thought did go into it.

Melissa75 have you only been a teacher for 1 year? Because frankly what ARE you going to do with 60, or 120 or 1000's of hand made pieces of 'art' over the years? Bin them eventually probably.
My Mum was a teacher and she preferred chocs or wine, something useful and not a photo of the child (why any parent would think a teacher liked their child that much is beyond me!) or a hand painted mug (only so many mugs you can own), cardboard photo frame, macrame jewellery box etc.
I also find your 'why bother' attitude to the parents signing the card very odd!!! All teachers know the child likes them and would sign their name, but to have a parent take the time to sign the card and not tell little jimmy to do it speaks volumes to me! My Dh and I write the cards as it's us who are thanking the teacher for taking such good care of our children.
I think I'll carry on buying my kids teachers things I know they'll eat, drink or use and not bin before term starts in January and I'll carry on writing the card because my kids have already sent them one through the school post box anyway.

mrz...I entirely agree with you...I would rather just have a simple thank you than all of these gifts, that just sit and gather dust.
trafficone...your post is amazing...if the card from your child is from you because you want to thank the teacher for taking such good care of you children, then why don't you sign it with your own name??
what does it teach your child when you buy the gift, you wrap it, you sign the card and you probably hand it to the teacher as well?
In answer to your question, I have been teaching for 13 years, hence my having hundreds of mugs. I would much rather have something given to me that my pupil has made and put effort into than all this commercialism. Whether I keep it or not is irrelevant, at least I know the child put effort and thought into it if it is from them.

Are your children still at school? I thought everyone broke up last Friday