Any year 5 teachers who can advise me

[silentnightplease]

My DD is 10 and in year 5.

She is very unsure of herself, lacks confidence and hates having to speak to a teacher.

She is happy to put her hand up in class to answer a question and we have been told she participates well in lessons.

She is just above where she should be for maths and literacy and well above average for science and history. She is also very sporty.

My problem is that, at least once a week, she is in tears about her maths. It is too hard, she understands things but then forgets. She often says that the teacher has said "you should know this by now" - not sure if those are her exact words but that is what DD hears! She refuses to ask for help if she is stuck unless the teacher approaches her first.

I have spoken to her class teacher who reports that she is doing really well and they have no concerns over her work. She is in the top set and they have no plans to mover her down.

What can I do to reassure her and give her confidence? She seems to manage her homework well and nearly always does it independently. I am not sure if this is a genuine concern or a manifestation of something else that she doesn't want to tell me about, or maybe even that she just has a problem with this particular teacher.

Any tips for managing this, or any thoughts on whether I should speak to the school again would be very much appreciated.

[BibiJesus]

DH (year 6 teacher) says:

This could be that because your dd is quite high achieving in other subjects and a good all rounder, yet finds maths more difficult, she might be percieving herself as failing/ when in actualy fact she is doing just fine.

[silentnightplease]

Thanks - hadn't thought of it like that. I hate to think she is beating herself up. I have never made a big thing of her being above average. I have tried to teach het that working hard and trying your best is the most important thing.

Blimey, I thought a toddler was hard work!!!

[fartmeistergeneral]

I have had exactly the same with my ds (10). In fact you have described his situation exactly! I asked him what part of maths he was finding difficult and I printed off problems for him to do 2/3 times a week with me. It only lasted a couple of weeks and he got over it. Sometimes they expect too much of themselves and when they get in a panic they can't think straight. As it happened, the maths just clicked with my ds - it just took an atmosphere outside the classroom where he could think clearer. Hope this helps.

[silentnightplease]

Getting in a panic and not being able to think straight is exactly what she said happens to her!!

Thanks fartmeister (love the name!) Will definately try some work at home for practice.

[fartmeistergeneral]

it was very familiar to me. Can remember feeling exactly that when I was at school - with certain subjects.

I just made sums for him and printed off, but also check out the bbc website - don't know what section, but it's like bbc education or something and they do examples for each year group that you can print off.

[kittybrown]

I agree with Bibi's DH. My son (year 5) is a high achiever, literacy comes naturally to him but he thinks he's rubbish at maths because he actually has to think and he's not used to it! He's actually doing really well in maths but just think so himself.

[silentnightplease]

Thanks all for very constructive advice and support.

Had tears again this morning as they are due a test today. Spoke to the teacher before school who reassured me that she is doing well and they have no concerns but she would bear it in mind and keep an eye on her.

Have found some stuff on i/net for her to practice.

Hopefully, as suggested, it will pass.

[RupertTheBear]

I am a year 5 teacher and if a parent came to me to say that their child felt unsure and lacked confidence in a subject that I felt they were doing well in, the first thing I would do would be to have a quiet word with that child and explain how well they were actually doing. Maybe you could ask her teacher to do that?

[popsycal]

agree with bibu's dh (am a y5/6 teacher)