Feeling like a really bad day already <sigh> just totally lost my rag with dd1

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

And I know I should be saying sorry to her but I just can't do it.

DH kept me awake all night with his snoring because he has stoppe taking his medicine again and has a cold. Last night was the only night untill Thurs I had a chance to get a decent sleep as I am working tonight and Wed. I overslept this morning due to the fact last time I looked at the clock while he was snoring away it was 4:35am

Gave dd1 her school uniform this morning and asked her to put it on. Came back ten minutes later (after doing breakfast) and she was still sat naked on her floor.

Cue banshee like screaming and dragging her around her bedroom pulling her clothes on her while she was crying I know I shouldn't have carried on like that with her and I should apologise to her but in a way I am glad. I am hoping this will be the last morning of me begging her to get dressed while she bleats "thats not the right skirt/I don't want those tights/I'm not going to school today/I don't want my hair done"

I am a bad bad mummy but this is every morning. I have tried sticker charts, no tv, getting dressed before breakfast, me getting her dressed none of it works and I just couldn't cope with it all this morning. Funnily enough she got her hair done and ate her breakfast super quick with no "don't like that cereal/hairbrush/milk/bobble"

Don't say anything till you feel calmer. Get yourself a cup of tea.

When you can, explain to her that you are sorry for your behaviour, that it wasn't something that your DD1 did THIS morning but you need her to be a little more helpful on a morning.

It's not her fault about your DH snoring...... Is there any way you could sleep somewhere else when you really need a good night's sleep?

I know my DH slept in the spare room last night, cos DS has a REALLY bad cold and is seriously clingy (so was sleeping in my bed and thrashing around like a maniac!) but DH had to get up at 5:30 this morning and look presentable so needed to sleep...

You aren't a bad mummy, by the way, just a stressed and frazzled on. >

YOu are not a bad mummy, this happens a lot in our house too, DS1 is a devil at ignoring me whilst I race around trying to get everyone out for school.

I was actually relived that we were snowed in today so that I wouldn't have to rush around trying to be somehwere for a set time.

You are tired and fed up, just explain that to your DD, give her a cuddle and explain why it's important that she gets dressed when you ask her to.

Oh, this sounds horribly familiar! I had the same scenario this weekend and I too ended up physically pulling and pushing and manhandling her into her clothes. And I felt like shit but tbh I don't know how else I would have got her dressed! Who knows what to do about it? Not me, I'm just resigned to being a crap parent and waiting it out until it gets better (or I get better!) Good luck we are all in it together.

She said sorry before I could get the chance and asked if I was still her friend. I told her of course I was I loved her but cant deal with every morning of "thats not the right skirt/I wanted dark grey tights today not light ones/no plaits toady I don't want my hair brushing" And that we can't keep being late for school (which we have never been as yet but its a rush every morning the earlier we get up the more she messes about) because it is me who will get in trouble not her because I can't turn around to her teachers and say "sorry dd is late this morning but I got out the wrong grey skirt this morning and she has decided she will be wearing pink tights today." because then the teachers will think I am a bad mummy (she assured me I'm not)

We have decided that she will help lay out her uniform the night before and she can say then if it is the wrong skirt or tights (but the tights must be grey or white and NOT dance tights)

Al I need now is for DH to do this with her on a night and considering the last time she told him about her homework for the NEXT morning he told her to see me about it (which she did about five minutes after we were due to leave for school) I'm thinking I'm still back to square one on the nights I work

I do feel better knowing I am not the only who has to cope with this though.

I'm just fed up. I thought working would make life easier as we would have more money but all it means is that DH thinks I can now afford to pay for everything and look after the house and children pretty much single handedly aswell as working fulltime now (even though I was only meant to be doing 25 hours)

No there are no other rooms I could sleep in. dd1's room is not big enough and she has a habit of singing to me. We have a huge, comfy airbed for guests that we put up in the living room but I can't sleep there because I need to be upstairs incase the dd's wake in the night and plus the dog snores too and she sleeps downstairs (and no I'm not joking the dogs snores worse than DH at times and at least he doesn't whimper and growl in his sleep)

Oh this sounds just like me some mornings, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Seriously though it sounds like you need to get DH on your side a little bit more in the evenings
We have a drawer of school clothes so the girls can basically choose anything from that drawer and breakfast is only 2 choices as well.This morning they all had a bit of each cereal.
Explain to DH that he can help with homework - I did it by making my dh feel like he's better at doing the reading assignments than I am .

sounds horribly like mornings in my house, then I feel horrible all day while dd skips happily off to school... Lack of sleep does terible things to people, don't be too hard on yourself. Sounds like you need to have a word with your dh too tbh.

If you are working full time there definately needs to be some more sharing of domestic stuff.
Also I withdraw priviledges if my girls don't get ready in time but this take a few days to sink in that the reason they can't do x is because of their previous behaviour.

He does her reading homework etc with her now (only after we found out she was falling behind at school though) but it is the finding things that she needs to take into school he can't do i.e. "It's Divali at school tommorrow daddy I need to take a torch or light to school" "Oh I don't know about that you will have to see your mum in the morning"

He does like to concentrate more on the numbers/shapes side of her school work when it's reading she needs to do but I can pick up the slack there and at least she is doing something on an evening with him.

She has no choice when it comes to breakfast she has what I do that morning but she helps chose the cereals etc when we are shopping.

I'm thinking of sending dd2 to a private nursery one day a week to give me some time as I don't have any time to myself atm and dd2 is not easy either. If there is something she is not meant to be playing with, she will find it; fires, scissors, the dog's tail, eating catfood, cat litter, climbing up the back of sofas. The more things I move the more things she finds that she can't have.

We probably can afford one day at nursery but I feel awfull thinking about it as I don't see her as much as I did as it is now that I am working.

I know what you mean about feeling terrible while they skip off to school happily. I felt awfull last time we had a fight and when i asked her if she was okay when I collected her fropm school she declared "yes, whyever wouldn't I be okay? I have had a lovely day"