What is the purpose of a sticker chart? Is my child a delinquent?

[scrooged]

ds is 9. He had a few problems settling into his new school, he's from a prep school and used to have excellent mannars, never shouted out, always thoughtful and helpful. Since starting his new school he had regressed, there were alot of children who didn't behave the same way, were shouting out etc so he copied. He was given a chart so the teachers could write whether he shouted out/worked in a team/listened to the teachers and I worked with him, discussing why he should not have behaved that way and how to improve. He did this, the last chart had comments like ds wanted to draw a picture after finishing his work, wanted to talk about bombs in geography, didn't wish to check his answers. I (wrongly or rightly) don't see these as the end of the world. I wrote and asked the teacher if ds could not have one any more as we had sorted the problems he had at the start of the term. The teacher wants ds to continue with the chart though. I see it as micro analysing everything he does and am reluctant to talk to him about drawing pictures after finishing his work etc. I can't change his maturity either, there are things all 9 year olds do so he'll grow out of things (I hope). No other boys in his class have one and I feel like he's been singled out. Any ideas what else I can do? Am I wrong and is he a little sod???

It might not be the end of the world, but if these are things he has been asked not to do and is still doing them, then it needs to be addressed. If no other boy in his class has one, then maybe there is a bigger problem than you think there is.

Maybe he is a little sod, maybe he's not. Maybe he is copying other children's behaviour to try and fit in, maybe there's something more. You'll only find out by talking to the school - talking to the teacher face to face rather than writing letters. It's much easier to get to the root of the problem (whether it is your son who has the problem or the teacher) if you do it face to face. It will be easier for the teacher to explain what she/he sees as being the problem, and for you to put your side across.

I met with her before half term, she just said that he was quesstioning the teachers (asking why they wanted him to do something) and not working well in a team. We sorted these out, there were no comments on the sheet after this, infact they all said he worked well in a team, there was nothing written about him following instructions. I think there's a bigger picture. He's a very, very bright boy and is like a square peg but does work well with others. They knew that he wasn't like other children before he started. During parents evening a couple of weeks ago she said nothing about the sheets. They are getting rather petty IMO, I don't mind if he's finished his work and wants to draw. I'm not sure if I'm the wrong one here though, I see kind, considerate, helpful ds and I know that he's probably not like this at school but the charts don't show anything out of the ordinary IYSWIM.

"I don't mind if he's finished his work and wants to draw. "

But you are not his class teacher and it would appear his class teacher DOES mind. The thing is the teacher can't let him get away with it - if teacher lets him do it they have to let all the class do it; and then where will the class be?

Sadly, in terms of your feelings on this, part of schooling means doing as you are told in class. Doing as teacher says, not answering back and questioning everything.

I am afraid, for the sake of hima nd all in his class, he does have to confrm to the rules in the classroom.

I would be asking your DS what he is supposed to be doing when work is complete? And why is he not doing that?

I see your point. He's a very bright boy and used to draw alot at his old school whilst waiting for the others to catch up. He was ahead by several years. They have not said anything about his academic work apart from that he's a very bright boy. As far as I'm aware from the chart he is following the class rules and he is conforming. He's just working so quickly because it's not hard work for him. I don't know where the behaviour comes into this though. I'm trying to support the school though and do talk to him/role play etc to get their comments across to him.

He did ask if he could draw by the way if this makes any difference.

If he asked and waa told yes - then fine

If he asked and told no, but still drew - then he disobeyed teacher, not good

TBH I would be concerned about a school that allowed a child to just draw after finishing work to allow others to catch up. If a child finishes work early they should be given extention work to further challenge them or to widen thier knowledge/experience of the topic.

You did say yourself that the last chart had comments like 'he did not wish to check his answers'- this does sound like he was told to do something and refused. In which case, it is the teacher's job to enforce discipline. I really don't think it's your job to decide what parts of school discipline are the end of the world. And this 9-year-old boy thing seems a bit of a red herring too. It does sound like you are making excuses. 9-year-olds aren't that young are they? (have an 8yo atm)

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be allowed to draw if he's finished all his work, either. At least it would stop him getting bored.
And if the rest of the class finished their work maybe they could draw too.
Or maybe give your ds more to do on the subject they are working on if he finishes the standard stuff.
Sitting there being told to go over your work (especially if you can't see how it can be improved) is boring and I can understand why he might want to draw or do something else. At least he only wants to draw and isn't misbehaving and disrupting the others finishing their work (or is he? Could that be the problem?)
Perhaps suggest that your ds has other work to do if he finishes well ahead of the others.
I would keep talking to the teacher until you all find a way that everybody is reasonably happy with. Ask the teacher what the problem is with the things noted on the chart. That might help you to understand the problem for the teacher's point of view.

Juule is right: you want to talk to the teacher and find out exactly where the problem lies.

What did you mean when you said 'he's not like other children'?? And I think you also said that the school were aware of that. Sorry if I'm paraphrasing, trying to remember the first few posts!

Do you mean he's a bit different and doesn't get on well with his peers, or do you mean he's G&T in some way? Have you moved areas? Why did he leave his old school?

If he is being asked to check his work- he should be doing it. It helps him, to re-read and self assess, whether he wants to or not. And if he is finishing so quickly, I'd be looking at whether he is taking care over his work, planning it adequetly before putting pen to paper, and whether there is an appropriate extention activity he could be doing? I certainly wouldn't allow a child of 9 to draw after finishing every piece of work. It may encourage him to rush, and if other children see this as the reward, they may be encourage to rush, when they are really not in a position to be able to do so.

With the bombs in geography, if a child goes wildly off-topic in my lessons, I ask them to keep that thought in their head, and I come back to them later, even if it is on a 1:1 basis- unfortunately there is not time to discuss everything every child wishes to in every lesson- there has to be some structure, and the discussion needs to relate, on the whole to the theme of the lesson and the work the children are expected to produce. I love hearing what children know, or are interested in, but there is a time and a place sadly.

As an aside, it dies sound as if your ds has alllowed to be a bit 'unique' at his old school, doing as he pleases while he waits for all the others to catch up. Unfortunately, in his new class he needs to learn that although every child matters, every child has to follow the same rules and do as the teacher tells them. I know this is probably not want you want to hear!

But sitting there, looking at his work, with no other input, thinking that it's correct (which it may be) doesn't help him at all really does it?
It just means he's sat there bored.
If that's the case then I think that needs to be addressed.
If it's for a short time while others are finishing off then he could have more patience but if it's for quite a while then surely he needs something else to do.

I think it also depends on how insistent he is with things once he's been told no. If his behaviour is okay then I'm not sure what the problem is.

At this age surely all children should be in the habit of going over their own work, re reading it through and checking they have def put down what they intended to put down. It is a VERY beneficial skill to learn and develop and willbe essential when it comes to exam time later in his education. If this boy is so bright then this can be explained easily to him surely?

But once that is done - and it only really takes 10 min max depending on length of work, thnen yes he should be doing something else to occupy himself. But unless the drawing is relevant tot he work being down, uch as illustratng a piece of writing perhaps, then I don;t see drawing in itself a useful piece of extension work. Extension wrk for a 9 year old is very very easy to arrange; they still have so much to learn even (especially so?) if they are very bright.

I would go and chat with the teacher. Find out exactly what issues need to be addressed and why, fromt he teacher's pont of view.

And do bear in mind that class disciplinee and the types of minor rules children need to confprm to in a class, where there are 30 children to keep in check, if very different to the rules you would have i tere is just the one or two.

At this age surely all children should be in the habit of going over their own work, re reading it through and checking they have def put down what they intended to put down. It is a VERY beneficial skill to learn and develop and willbe essential when it comes to exam time later in his education. If this boy is so bright then this can be explained easily to him surely?

But once that is done - and it only really takes 10 min max depending on length of work, thnen yes he should be doing something else to occupy himself. But unless the drawing is relevant tot he work being down, uch as illustratng a piece of writing perhaps, then I don;t see drawing in itself a useful piece of extension work. Extension wrk for a 9 year old is very very easy to arrange; they still have so much to learn even (especially so?) if they are very bright.

I would go and chat with the teacher. Find out exactly what issues need to be addressed and why, fromt he teacher's pont of view.

And do bear in mind that class disciplinee and the types of minor rules children need to confprm to in a class, where there are 30 children to keep in check, if very different to the rules you would have i tere is just the one or two.

Hi all. I moved him because they have smaller classes (14!) . She didn't say whether she had told him no or not, he had been doing an assessment and had finished before everyone else so he asked if he could draw. I'm not sure if he checked his answers. He says he did, she disagrees. It does look like he doesn't as he works really quickly though, I think he does as he always seems to come out with 99-100% anyway.

He isn't like other children as he can go very deep into something that sparks his imagination and can be full on IYSWIM, I could see this as a problem as his questions and comments may not relate to the topic in an obvious way. He does get along with his peers (apart from one boy who seems intent getting ds in trouble. I'm not sure how accurate this is though as I only have ds's word for this). He is caring, fun (which could be the problem??) and popular with most of the school. IMO, he doesn't take care or pride in his work. He rushes it to get it out of the way but does get it all right. I can see this being a problem for them as he's only doing the minimum. I have suggested him not having his note book to the teacher but she said he takes it outside at lay time so doesn't mind him having it. I would be lying if I said he'd never been a problem at school, however, for the last year or so he's really improved, he doesn't disturb the class, doesn't behave inappropriately or harm the other children. I just can't see why she insists on him having this when a child that rammed someone's head into a wall has one too. I don't see these problems as the same.

Thanks for the replies. I will go and see her. ds said she didn't look like she was in a good mood yesterday so I think this is part of why he has the sheet again.

If he is finishing way ahead of his classmates then I'd be asking the teacher why she isn't giving him more suitable work.

Thanks MollieO.

Does appear from last weeks chart that he was indeed a delinquent in a few of the lessons. I'm assuming this is why she still wishes him to have it. The snow today didn't do much to calm him down today either. Oh dear! I'll just have to start the brainwashing again.