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DD1 (yr 5) is failing miserably and hates school...any advice on what to do to improve matters?

12 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/11/2008 22:29

A bit of background. She went to an international school in Brux until she was 7 (end of Yr 2). She loved the school, worked hard, and was one of the brightest in the class, to the extent that she was put in an "extended literacy group" (five children selected out of 125 in her year). Her maths was also good (not brilliant, but no problems).

When she started Yr 3 in her new school in UK (Yr 3) they tested her reading and she had a reading age of 15, which the teacher said was the highest in the school. Fast forward two years and she is performing badly in every subject. She is in the bottom group in her class for maths and one above the bottom for English. She consistently performs badly in tests. She says she is bored and can't be bothered with any of it - the only thing she likes at school is lunch break.

I don't know where we go from here. She spends all of her time at home writing and illustrating stories - she enjoys this, but "can't be bothered with the literacy at school - it's boring." The writing that she does at home is of a good standard - accurate spellings, good sentence structure and punctuation. What she does at school is like a different child's work.

I have explained all of this to the teacher (who was also concerned) a month ago and there has been no progress - she has got worse if anything. Treats don't "incentivise" (horrible word!) her, and neither does removing something she enjoys doing (like riding or skating lessons). She just, basically, isn't interested in anything.

I don't want to move her as she will either be moving next year (we are due to go overseas again) or at the end of Yr 6, when she goes onto secondary, anyway.

Any advice? Going to see teacher again this week and really don't know where to start.

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Flynnie · 23/11/2008 22:41

Having younger children I am not really in the best position to advise, but it sounds like she is bored.

Maybe she can't be bothered at school because she is ahead of what they are learning.

Hope someone with better advise will come along soon.

mumto2andnomore · 23/11/2008 22:48

Do you think she doesnt want to try at school as she knows she will be moving on soon anyway ? Must be hard to keep changing schools, my daughter is Y5 too and would hate that.Just a thought.

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/11/2008 22:52

Mumto2 - no, I don't think that's it. They will all be leaving at the end of Yr 6 anyway, and all go off to a variety of schools - 2 local comps, a grammar and quite a few go off to private schools. So she is prepared for that.

She hasn't actually "kept changing schools" either - she was in Brussels school from age 3 to age 7, will be leaving this school (which a lot of children join at Yr 3 anyway) either at the end of, or during Yr 6, so has moved at the time she would move anyway.

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scarletlilybug · 23/11/2008 22:56

She does sound bored.

I would move her - she doesn't sound as if she's particularly happy there and almost 2 years (to the end of Y6) can seem like a lifetime to a young child.

Probably get flamed for this - but would there be any chance of putting her in a private school? An academically-inclined private school might be able to offer your daughter more challenge and perhaps encourage her to reach her potential.

Lots of state schools seem to try to encourage every child to believe that every piece of work they submit is wonderful. This can be very de-motivating for high achievers, I think and make them wonder "what's the point in trying hard/doing good work?"

imaginaryfriend · 23/11/2008 22:58

Do they not still test her English now? I was thinking that if she was known to have such a high reading age at the start it seems madness to put her in one of the bottom groups. That will only make her more bored, surely?

unavailable · 23/11/2008 23:01

Your daughter is clearly bright. It sounds to me as if she is making a protest with her poor schoolwork. This may be about the school (bored, bullying ?) or it may be about your prosepctive move abroad. Dont underestimate the impact the latter may have. Moving to a new counrty and school (differnt language?) is a very differnt prospect to her peers moving on to secondary schools locally. Where are you movin to?

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/11/2008 23:01

Scarletlilybug - I won't flame you! Yes, we have considered private education (the international school was private), but wanted her to mix with more "normal" people - of her best friends in Brux, one lived in a chateau and two had swimming pools in their gardens! We are definitely not like this, and wanted her to have a bit of a reality check!

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unavailable · 23/11/2008 23:03

oh, sorry - rubbish typing. I should preview.

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/11/2008 23:06

Imaginaryfriend - she has been getting very poor results in her English tests, hence the rapid move down the scale. No-one seems to have questioned it.

Unavailable - she says she is happy to go overseas again (and is looking forward to it, looking in an atlas at various places and telling me where she would/wouldn't want to go, and why). We don't know where we're going yet, but she would be in an English language school, so that wouldn't be an issue. She definitely doesn't want to board yet (far too young anyway IMO), as I asked her if she would prefer this, so that she had some continuity/constancy in her life.

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roisin · 23/11/2008 23:08

Oh dear, this sounds very grim to have 'regressed' so much in just a couple of years in more than one subject

How did you/your dd get on with her teacher last year? I'm really shocked tbh.

I don't have anything to suggest. It's completely out of my experience, but rather disturbing to read tbh.

unavailable · 23/11/2008 23:22

I moved alot as a child - both within the uk and overseas. I experienced overseas schooling, correspondence courses and later boarding school. In many ways I enjoyed the variety and excitement this gave me, and always said so to my parents, but...

Looking back, I did act out at school, and it was unsettling.If this is true for your daughter, I imagine any disquiet may be magnified by not knowing where you are going. I know I am projecting my experience onto your situation, but please dont think that because she says she's fine with it, it needs no further exploration.

sunnydelight · 24/11/2008 00:36

She needs a more stimulating environment, but you know that. It's a really tough call though if you're moving next year. I would say that unless you are 100% sure when you're moving I'd find another school for her now, as someone already said 2 years is a long time for a kid that age and it doesn't look like things will get better if she stays where she is.

I know international schools cost a fortune if you haven't got a company paying for it for you, but is there any way you could put her in one in the UK? Because they have such a transient population it might be easier for her to make friends, then move again as that's what all her friends will be doing, than if you put her in a school for a short while where most of the kids stay put.

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