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Primary education

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after i dropped ds off at school, i went to work and burst into tears, felt daft but what would you have done?

25 replies

deanychip · 19/11/2008 18:11

opened up the book bag last night and out fell a trophy. Ds looked surprised but then beamed from ear to ear saying that it is the "merit trophy" and that he must have got it for lining up so well in school.

so, little fella stood it by his bed all night, cam down with it this morning...still beaming, got into uniform, clinging to trophy..went to school.
children lining up, ds syas that the merit holder has to go to the front of the line, but lttle girl at the front will not let ds at the front...teacher comes out of classroom says "Why are you not in line go and line up" then says "what are you doing with that, your not meant to have that, give it to me"... by which time ds bursts into tears and is clinging to my legs sobbing.
Teacher gets his hand and says "come on iside with me, it was a mistake that it was put in your bag"...peals ds off me and goes inside.

i stood outside for a few moments and saw that he was ok and then went to work.

Was SO upset because he came home with a bite from a child last week surrounded by a huge black bruise, apparently this child had bitten ds, ran off to the dinner ladies and said that ds was fighting with him....ds sent to the "time out wall" for fighting,

i just feel like injustice is following him round, and i am forever fighting for him...i dobnt know if its just bad luck or what but it makes me so sad for him, he is only 5 bless him.
sob.

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deanychip · 19/11/2008 18:12

your all gonna say that he is a PFB arent you

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MarmadukeScarlet · 19/11/2008 18:13

How awful for you both.

herbietea · 19/11/2008 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ledodgy · 19/11/2008 18:15

Aww no that is sad I would have reacted the same way. The teacher should make sure it goes in the right bag or at least when they realised their mistake apologised to him and maybe tell him if he lines up realy well another day this week he may get it for real.

ledodgy · 19/11/2008 18:15

*really

misdee · 19/11/2008 18:15

oh that was handled very badly by the teacher. who was the trophey meant for?

poor kid.

Flightattendant4 · 19/11/2008 18:16

Oh!

How awful, Deany.

Poor little mite. not pfb at all...that's just so unfair.

Parsleypants · 19/11/2008 18:17

Ah no, I would have felt dreadful for my ds in the same circumstances - I had a call at work recently to say he had been pushed over and scratched his face and I burst into tears... The teacher sounds damned insensitive IMO.

cornsilk · 19/11/2008 18:17

what a miserable teacher

deanychip · 19/11/2008 18:17

another boy, but it went missing in the day, teach said, if any one finds it put it in *bag...which is next to ds's apparently.

she didnt say sorry to him, so i told him in front of her that he had NOT done anything wrong, that he was not in trouble and that it was lovely to have the trophy for the night because of his fantastic lining up skills.

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coppertop · 19/11/2008 18:18

Poor little ds. Not PFB at all.

Bramshott · 19/11/2008 18:21

Aww for your DS Deany. Sounds like you handled it very well though.

deanychip · 19/11/2008 18:22

i couldnt tell them what was wrong with me at work....just kept sluttering in snot mumbling "trophy" and "lining up" and legs...clinging"

they all thought that i was mad!

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cory · 19/11/2008 18:23

oh poor you!

MollieO · 19/11/2008 19:36

How horrible. So teacher makes a mistake and your child suffers the consequences? Nice! Have to say I never cry at work re children things as otherwise my (male) colleagues will realise I'm a working mum (none of their wives work)!

Sonnet · 20/11/2008 14:51

What an insensitive teacher!!!

Hope you are both ok - make a big fuss of DS tonight

sparklestickchick · 20/11/2008 14:57

right .....here we go!!

stern words [deep breath]

Youve had your cry

you now its unreasonable

tonight when you see your ds,hug him and take him for sweets/chocolate etc and tell them thats 'merit' from you ,the teacher was nasty and whilst fighting isnt the answer you are on his side,let him borrow a special ornament of yours (your merit trophy).

tomorrow get to school a little earlier and speak to the teacher about how she responded your child is 5 ffs.

dont let this be a start of a vicious {sp} circle.

choccyp1g · 20/11/2008 15:00

SOunds like your poor boy didn't realise he wasn't meant to have it.
Or is it possible that he "accidently" put it in his bag ?

deanychip · 20/11/2008 19:54

Ok deep breath sparklechick....
One pack of chocolate stars purchased and delivered to distraught kid....check
Kid muchly cheered up...hooray!

Spoke to (bitch ) teacher that evening....in front of ds, asked her to tell him that it wasnt his fault and that he had done nothing wrong....check,
I then told him that i was really proud of him and that he had got the trophy becuase he had lined up SO well and that it was for one night.
Thought ds had taken it well, but he had a number 2 accident in his pants today and wet the bed last night so clearly the little chappy isnt happy.
So tons of kisses and cuddles...and he came out of school with 3 well done stickers stuck to his top tonight from school, so think that the staff are praising him allot.
Have to say that i dont think that i was unreasonable, it was a blatant case of injustice and it upset me (normally ard as nails me)mistake or not, she should not have been so nasty.
Unfortunately this is becoming a cycle, and all i can do is just keep an eye on things and talk to ds & the teacher regularly.

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sparklestickchick · 21/11/2008 08:32

good luck Deany and extremely well handled xx

sparklestickchick · 21/11/2008 08:34

deany where in the north west are you?? im in Oldham

gaussgirl · 21/11/2008 13:49

well done, deany. Tell you what, bet that teacher doesn't have a 5 year old DS herself or she'd've NEVER have pulled that! It sometimes strikes me with some of the young NQTs I've seen firts hand that they will be SO much better at teaching once they've had DCs of their own and learn what a big issue a merit trophy can be, and how humiliated a 5 yr old can feel.

MsPontipine · 21/11/2008 23:06

Oh bless you and your ds deanychip. What a crap thing to happen - you really handled it well - I had a similar thing happen this week - queried with ds's teacher if he would be mentioned in special Friday assembly for a particular certificate he'd got this week (as other children have and we have sat there and clapped them) Only I wasn't prepared to talk to her (it was a shall I shan't I situation) and then oh hell of course I will - it's for him not me - only I was so aware I wasn't explaining myself properly (at one point she did say "I don't actually understand what you're saying") as I blustered and beat about the bush and got embarrassed as sounded like I was disagreeing with her . . . . . oh hell.

Basically I left in tears (she didn't see) ds totally unaware of anything. Today in special assembly another child was being mentioned for same certificate . . . I couldn't look at his teacher. It's just he seems to be struggling to settle after moving to yr1 and all these other children are doing all these fab things and getting due recognition which is lovely and this is something ds worked hard to do (Team Read) and .. oh sod going to go now before I cry again.

MsPontipine · 21/11/2008 23:09

OOO and meant to say - I know how you feel it's not daft but I felt awful crying too.

deanychip · 22/11/2008 16:05

im near Blackpool.
mspontipine i do that, get all befuddled, know what i want to say...in fact i rehearse what i am going to say but then just trip myself up, then cry!
Im rubbish at confrontation.

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