DS (5) says he hates his teacher

[redhotredhead]

My DS aged 5 has just started school. Having had magical first half term and super first parents night feedback, in the last 2 weeks he has been v unhappy. Says teacher tells him off "hundreds of times" a day, does admit to some wrongdoing but says she tells him off always and other children (specifically girls) never. He says he is one of the "naughty boys" now and that he hates his teacher and she is nasty and that nobody likes him. I have made appointment to see her for 5 mins after school tomorrow but really don't know what I want to say or ask. What's your advice?

He was really keen on going to school, is bright and enhusiastic which I am well aware can come across as cocky and over confident. It really upsets me to hear what he describes because if his take on it is accurate it doesn't sound just. Maybe I'm over reacting?

You should print out your post and say exactly that to the teacher. Sounds completely reasonable, not over-reacting.

No 5 year old can be accurate! But just go and and tell her how he is feeling. If there is a problem with his behaviour you can work together. Good luck!

Yes - will go in with open mind and see what she says - ta very!

Lots of people say that after a great start at school, kids take against it. It's something to do with the novelty wearing off.
Also there's a fair number of talk about teachers trying to reign in spirited boys when they start school to get them to conform and sit still. Could be either of those is true.
If he's upset there's got to be a reason, but I agree with the others. Stay open minded and see what she thinks. If you are more curious than accusing she'll open up more to you. And if she is being a bit hard on your son, being honest should make her see that she needs to take a bit more care with him.

He won't be being accurate, he's too young. But that is his perception and I think that the teacher needs to know and to have a more positive slant on things with him so as to get him back on track. I don't think it's a big deal, tbh, she just needs to know and to change tack a bit. Don't give her the impression you think it's a big deal, go in with a "nipping it in the bud" type comment. Teachers know that they get the best results from their children when they are happy!

Happened to ds in reception last year. He was "spirited" and did have some behavioural issues, but I also think that as a result, the teacher had an expectation that he would be at fault and he got into trouble when other children did not.

I talked to the teacher about it and asked what her perception of what he was doing wrong was so we could work on it with him too. I asked if I could just have a brief chat each week how his behaviour had been and what we could work on. I also explained his perception that he got into trouble where other children did not and gave specific examples of what ds had told me. I told ds that we were going to talk to her about this and asked him what he would like us to say and what problems he thought needed solving so ds felt involved in the process.

This worked very well for us. Hopefully, at no point did the teacher feel she was being criticsed and ds felt that we were taking his concerns on board whilst being aware that the underlying problem was his behaviour.

He is much better now!