Trying hard not to loose it. I want to cry!;(

[Mumlikeu]

Hi,
i need to screammmmmmmmmmm! I think i posted a thread last week about my 6 year old son. His dad and I went to his parents conference yesterday and his teacher told us that he is below the average for his age. He is excellent when he is guided but cannot do the work by himself. And of course there was a slight discrepancy on our side. I am now realising what they are talking about. It seems when you are constantly over him he does the work and really well. But if you are not he cannot get on with it by himnself. This is really bringing me down. I dont want to show him how much this frustrates me and neither do i want him to have a complex. He is otherwise a bubbly child and fun loving.

We dont understand what is going on with him and have now decided to take on the extra help they originally offered. The sad part of all this is at home he does his reading well with me ad his dad. But i am now noticing his struggles with spellings and he finds this frustrating and refuses to do his hand writing with me.

However he did some brilliant work with his dad yesterday and i dont understand whats going on with him. One minute he is a delight and loves to get stuck in and the next he has a mental block.

We have decided against kumon and have decided to go with home school education. I dont even know if all the extra work is neccessary for a child his age. I need advice.

I wouldn't worry too much about extra home help now tbh. He is only 6. And although he may be one of the oldest in Yr1, he is still only 6! Take all the help offered in school. Find FUN ways of doing things at home. Read to him a lot so that he enjoys books for their own sake.

With the word sheets I used to type them out into bigger type and cut them out and stick them up around the kitchen etc.

You can buy a magnetic set of the high frequency words that they are supposed to be learning. DS loved playing with those on the fridge.

I had a wobble last year about DS as he was struggling with writing and maths and I was wondering about keeping him back a year and I spoke to the head of KS1 who happened to have been his Yr 1 teacher. SHe reminded me that DS was totally uninterested in colouring or writing or anything similar when he started Yr 1. Others in the year started to get spellings home at Xmas - DS didn't till Easter. He just wasn't ready. Yet even then his mental prowess/maturity in figuring out other stuff etc was very good.

My MIL was a Reception teacher for years and she always says that she has had children join Reception who could read and write. She has had children who had never held a book. By the end of Reception the gap would have closed a bit but the early readers and writers would obv be 'ahead'. She always reckoned that by Yr 2 the gap closes and a lot of catching up is done.

Try not to stress too much and enjoy your son. I looked at your profile and he is gorgeous!

Good advice Buda. My DS is in yr1 and not at all interested in reading and writing (he too has extra help at school). We do about 10mins most days after tea but I am happy to leave it at that, he will 'get it' when he is ready.

mumlikeu - I think you need to take what the teachers say with a little pinch of salt. Remember these so called targets are 'made up'. Reading and writing is only a small part of life, not all of it. If your boy is happy, then that should be enough.

Please don't worry too much. Both my boys are like this to a great extent. They will do nothing unless someone is nagging them and standing over them! And not just school work either . My eldest is 11 and at secondary school and only now is beginning to show some initiative. FWIW he did well in his Yr 6 SATS despite this. DD is a breath of fresh air in comparison.

However I would take any help that is offered. My eldest had 'booster' lessons for literacy several times and they helped.

Oh and btw, my youngest is about the same age as yours - few months younger - and is only just really getting the hang of reading properly. Can't form letters properly and as for spelling ... It isn't that terrible at this stage. There is a long way to go. Not all children conform to standards and levels.

I wouldn't do anything at home that makes you both so stressed. It does not good at all. My ds has dyspraxia and his OT gave me exercises to do with him at home, but he hates doing it and refuses, so she said, 'Then just be his mum, not his teacher. It will do more harm to get upset than to leave the exercises to the school'.
If he likes jigsaws and board games and drawing, then do those.
He is only six. I feel very sad about all the pressure heaped on very small boys in schools.
With my ds, a good walk in teh park or woods helps him get focus. Being stuck at a desk or kitchen table doesn't