Because I've been saying to people at our new one, that we 'lost' our place at ds's first school. And they seem really surprised at this, and actually I'm a bit worried that I have moved him unnecessarily.
It's a bit of a long one but I'll try and keep it concise.
Last Autumn he started reception, doing half days - loved it, it was fine. However he got very tired (normal, I know) and so I spoke to them and he continued with half days till Christmas.
Then in the spring we went to 3 full days a week - this wasn't so successful. He was often ill, knackered, falling asleep - so missed a lot of those 3 days as well.
I'd have preferred half days all the way but school wanted to try full days.
Anyway by easter it just got silly, he had missed so much and was so tired I asked the school if we could take him out for the summer term and try again once he was 5, ie in September. They said that was fine - in fact I said, shall we lose our place, I am prepared to take him out - and they said, 'Oh, no, no, do come back, there's no need for that!' Then they asked for a dr's letter to cover him for the summer term. I asked my GP to write this, she refused, sceptical, saying she didn't agree with it - I said I didn't expect her to write it either, as he wasn't ill. I told the school I didn't have the letter, they said write it yourself, so I wrote a letter explaining that he was getting exhausted.
So we stayed home all summer, and then we moved house. While we were moving, the school rang. A new teacher had taken over as head while head was on sabbatical. They said, 'ds has to come in for some re-integration. We would like a meeting to discuss this'.
So I took him with me and he spent an hour in his classroom while I sat in a room with four teachers/senco and they talked over my head and planned a massive timetable of several weeks' sessions, where he had to come in for whole afternoons and mornings straight away, then full days by the end of term.
I said I didn't think he could cope with all that as we were moving and he was already quite stressed. They said he won't find year 1 easy if he doesn't.
Anyway we tried - he went in for a couple of sessions and then the next day he just fell asleep on the way to school. So I took him home, and I didn't dare ring them and explain as I thought they'd not believe me - they seemed already quite sceptical.
We moved, that week - I had no phone for another 4 weeks. I am ashamed to say I did not contact them - I felt that they didn't really understand or take my opinion into account anyway, I wasn't welcome there, and whatever I said, they insisted ds needed to do this integration thing which was just sprung on him/us at a really difficult time.
My mother got a call from them a while later and they were saying the were going to ring the welfare officer at the LEA unless I got in touch. So I rang, and went to speak to them and explained that I had not had a phone, and that ds had been unable to do their sessions and things were quite chaotic with the move and everything, and apologised but said I didn't think my feelings had been listened to anyway. It turned out they had already rung the LEA and were a bit threatening about it - it made me feel atrocious, like a bad mother, incapable of normal relations with the school etc. It was horrible.
The 'new' head said, smiling sweetly at me, that as HE had been my original; plan, why didn't I do that - ds would find it hard to come back in the autumn, and I agreed - nobody said' we are withdrawing the place' and nobody said 'I am withdrawing ds' but it was sort of assumed. I gave them a letter of deregistration at Easter, thinking I'd have to - but they kept it despite saying 'no he can come back' and they mentioned this and said they were covered as they had my letter from then.
I rang the LEA liaison person and he came out, discussed HE with me - he was great. However I had been sent ds's report and it was marked all over 'illness' rather than 'authorised absence', which was incorrect. The school had been fiddling the paperwork it seemed, saying he was off due to illness which should have been authorised absence. Which explains the gp letter they wanted.
I don't know if this was to make sure they got more money, or if there was no ulterior motive whatsoever - I just dont know why they didn't mark the register 'AA'.
Ultimately I am upset that he has had to start at a new school, it's very hard for him - he had made good friends at the first one - and am totally confused as to whether i could/should have fought for his place at the first one.
Can anyone shed any light/ I think the first school was actually baffled by my request for the term's absence and didn't know how to handle it then found they were in trouble and threw the book at me - by ringing the welfare people. I also think they didn't want us there as I was a bit left of centre and personally not very at ease with school. But I tried hard to do the right thing until the mess when we were moving and I just lost touch with them.