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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Need some advice re ds in reception and a boy in his class..LONGGGGGGGGGG

8 replies

Nemoandthefireworks · 05/11/2008 20:06

Ds started reception and has generally been very settled apart from a few incidents with one little boy.
On their first full day this boy bit him on the fingers leaving a mark for 2 days. About a week later he bit him again on the shoulder. Both times ds told teacher and little boy was reprimanded etc and his mum sought me out to apologise. Ds and the boy then became quite good friends but it was apparent that the boy is quite boistirous[sp?] with ds when they play and has hit him a few times while playing which even ds has said oh xxx got over excited.
Anyways oday ds has come home with a huge cut all down the side of his face which was from this boy tripping him over on the playground. Then the boy ran up to ds and said I dont want to be your friend and I dont like you then pulled raspberries at him [according to ds] So ds went to tell TA what had happened and when she quizzed he boy he said he hadnt and it was left at that.
Now ds has come home from school really upset by not being believed by the teacher, his face is also really hurting and he is worried about what the boy will do next.
I have told ds that dh will take him to school in the morning and speak to his teacher about it and the other incidents. We have also said he doesnt have to play with the boy and to try not to be upset about it,,etc
So advice needed really is whether thats enough..ds is our first to go to school and I am not sure how to handle this.

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MeMySonAndI · 05/11/2008 20:15

I really don't know what to say. The wise advise would be for me to say that your children is doing as it should and perhaps should keep a distance from this boy.

Howver, DS had a pretty bad time for a full year by a boy who bit him all the time... well well, nothing worked to stop the other child until one day, when I arrived to find DS totally distrought with a ring of blood in his arm after a bad bite ... I told him that he should never allow that to happen again, and to bit back until he stopped...{i know Iknow] Well, he didn't bite him back but scratched him badly... since then they became best friends.

however, if your son has a sweet tempred nature I would avoid that. Just keep the distance.

Nemoandthefireworks · 05/11/2008 20:20

thanks memy ds is generally quite sweet and I know he wouldnt hit out at school for fear of being reprimanded by teachers. When he was first bittne dh told him to hit back as he was bullied in school a lot. I just worry as he is only just 5 and shouldnt be spending reception being made to feel like this.

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Nemoandthefireworks · 05/11/2008 20:42

bumping for more advice

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TotalChaos · 05/11/2008 20:45

think you are right to speak to school about it, sounds like they need to beef up playground supervision.

TotalChaos · 05/11/2008 20:45

think you are right to speak to school about it, sounds like they need to beef up playground supervision.

Nemoandthefireworks · 05/11/2008 20:55

thanks TC
you know what ds is like and am worried how it will effect him

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pickupthismess · 05/11/2008 21:01

Nemo - for what it's worth......

My DS1 is in reception and is meek, mild mannered and doesn't like rough play. His 'friend' is acknowledged by most other mothers to be real little bully to him. Unfortunately, DS has just tagged on to him because he has known him all his life and didn't know the other kids (it's a very small class)

The other day I saw him punch DS1 in the face with some force. DS always comes home with stories of tormenting and violence. I went to see the teacher but I asked tormentors's mum to accompany me. Ostensibly to see if we could all sort it out but really so she'd realise what a little b***d she has for a son. Subsequently I went quietly to see headmistress and was very firm about their responsibilities - which in fairness they are responding to.

You have to ask why no teacher has seen your son receive his cut. Sounds like they are not paying anywhere near enough attention to them. You are right to send in DH and he should be VERY firm. Boys do fight but it is not acceptable for DS to come home bitten and cut.

Key for you also is to try and nurture friendships outside of this child so your son can just stay away from him.

Nemoandthefireworks · 06/11/2008 10:56

dh spoke to the teacher this morning and suggested she speak to ds and the boy together about it which she is going to do. I think ds quite likes him but is not a rough and ready type of kid iykwim unless it comes to playing football

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