Reception friends

[Lukilu]

I feel really sad as I have just picked my
DS up from reception. I asked him who he played with and he said no one. I asked why and he said no one wants to play with him - they all want to play with each other. Now I'm sure they are not all playing with someone but that's how it feels to my son. I said he should try and join in and find new friends but he said he doesn't know how. He's a very lively and sociable child and I don't know why he is having problems.

they ALL say this!
My boy says it all the time, yet when i drive passed the playground, there he is running round with loads of kids!
Another mum told me she went into school as her ds said it a few times, she was really worried (and heartbroken) and the teacher said that it just isnt true, they do play with each other, they havent formed singular friendships yet, but none of them are alone.
Please take heart, but if you are worried, have a quick chat with the teacher, or do what i did bob passed at playtime, without him seeing you. You will be pleasantly reassured. x

Thanks both of you. I think half the problem is he started reception with his good friend from pre-school. This friend knew several of the boys already and has pretty much dumped my son since they started this school. He plays with my ds as and when he feels like it, but when he won't I think my son feels a bit lost and on his own. I've tried to encourage him to make new friends but he says they are already playing with someone else and won't play with him. I will get him to start conversations and see it that helps. Unfortunately there's no way of seeing the playground from the road so I can't spy!

My boy started school with several kids form his pre school too, but has not made a special friend yet.
I have invited a boy home for tea and that was fun for them, theres an idea for you.
Ask your son if he would like a pal to come for tea and to play.

i have been wondering about this too.

although the teacher said he was a very popular boy, he tells me that x y and z say that he cannot play with them,he also says he is going to 'like trains now' so he can play with so and so.

the other boys seem to always be in teh same pairings when he mentions them...(ie have made their own little friend)

im sure this all sounds pretty normal and nothing to get my knickers in a twist about....it may even suggest he has some idea of how to ingratiate himself/convene socially?...but i cant help wondering if there is something about him?

he is def a boisterous boy,prone to clowning around...

My ds never plays with the same child two days running. He always has a new best friend. I think it does take a while for them to settle down, I don't think they start making proper friendships until YR1.

I think it makes kids anxious when parents ask them 'who did you play with' and places great importance on just that (not having a go at you) why not ask ' did you have fun today/did you read any books/make anything/sing songs/ etc etc

its nice to be reminded that this is the way things are

(ramonaquimby...is your name from those books about Ramona...oh i loooved those books... 'Nosmo King'...if not please ignore me )

oh and i agree ,asking could make them anxious

(haha i googled ramona...oh waht a blast from th epast)

Boys generally don;t tend to make firm singular friendships in the way girls do.

DS is now six and in a "pack" (I have persuaded him he is NOT in a gang) They tend to play "army" (I dread to thibnk what this involves) football, a form of tag.

He has friends but when pushed says he likes everyone

When he started reception he also told me he sat by a tree and watched everyone play (patently untrue but enough for me to sob into my pillow that night before checking with the teacher the next morning)

If he is having problems most schools have strategies (ours has a friendship stop and the older children have to buddy up with the little ones as well)

HTH

beansontoast - yes is tribute to Beverly Cleary!! dd has been reading them at the moment, first name change ever on mn. fab books aren't they

I think this is a common problem with boys especially. My son tells me the same thing. And this does worry me. There is more to it than they allow us to know. I think what helps is for you to interact with the other parents and perharps asking your son who is likes and organise a play date. It is sometimes hard to break the ice but once this is done it does get easier. Good luck babe. It worked for me.

I think this is a common problem with boys especially. My son tells me the same thing. And this does worry me. There is more to it than they allow us to know. I think what helps is for you to interact with the other parents and perharps asking your son who is likes and organise a play date. It is sometimes hard to break the ice but once this is done it does get easier. Good luck babe. It worked for me.

My daughter says that every day, then I see photos of them at play time and she is in the thick of it, and she slips up and says so and so couldnt catch her, or another mum says something, and she is fine. I dont know why she says it, maybe she is voicing her concerns.

Have a party for him, might help. Also you can watch out then and spot some potential play dates