Do you think we should complain?

[alfiemama]

Ok please bear with me here its a bit of a long one

ds 1 started school in Sept and has reflux, if he doesnt eat he is usually sick, which we have made the school fully aware of via letter and verbally with teacher.

Because of the reflux he is not a great eater and has been under a hv weighing him etc for a while now.

Ds son started school and was doing ok eating, for a short while but then things lapsed at parents eve we addressed the situation with teacher who told us they hadnt been going in and checking on him (he hadnt eaten dinner for 4 days and no one told us) it was even mentioned at parents eve that he lapses in afternoon, no blumming wonder.
Another mum told us that the same night she said she did check on then at dinner, which makes me think other mums have concerns

Probs started when hubby picked son up and forgot to take lunchbox, so in morning I packed his pack lunch in tuppawear and put in back, when I picked him up I heard two teachers talking about yes youve guessed the tupperware box and it hadnt been touched, so ds had gone all day with nothing, teacher said they saw the tupperware box in the morning and put it on the rack but couldnt tell me if he had touched it, it was totally untouched, then on speaking to friends little boy who is 7 said he didnt even see my ds in the hall for dinner, lo keeps going on about being locked in,

my concerns are
1: why can they not tell me if son had eaten! who supervises them

2: why did no one question why a little boy was sat with nothing.

3: if he wasnt in hall where was he?

teacher even said "mummy he had an apple this afternoon"

[anonandlikeit]

I would remind them in writing again of your ds medical condition & would ask your sons DR to write a supporting letter.
I find they listen to professionals much more carefully than they listen to parents.

Is the school nurse service aware of your sons condition?
The school has a duty of care to all children & if you feel that your sons needs are not being met you are perfectly within your right to raise the issue.

I always find it better to complain without them realising you've made a complaint IYKWIM [GRIN]

[alfiemama]

Hi ya

Yes nlwmf I even thought about volunteering at lunch.

Anon When ds started school we had to fill out a form that was passed onto the nurse so yes, also, ds has been poorly for example I was called out of work in 2 weeks 4 times so they know he needs building up, he cannot afford to lose any more weight.

I am very concerned as to where he was, if was in the toilet would someone not know, do they not stagger lunches, seems a bit of chaos really, his school have a buddy system I would have thought this would carry on into lunch.

[anonandlikeit]

More importantly you must find out what THEY are going to do to improve the situation?

It should not be your responsibility to supervise him at school & that includes lunch.

[compo]

if he has packed lunch whatever he doesn't eat should come home with him so you'll know that way

[muppetgirl]

This is a medical condition you're not being a precious parent. The school have a duty of care to your ds as he has a condition. I had a child who had had a kidney transplant and associated issues with that. I couldn't (and wouldn't) have just ignored his needs.
I would politely, but firmly ask to be told what he has eaten each day.

[alfiemama]

Hi Compo

Yes he does bring home the remains, but surely if its not touched for 4 days they would know, also they didnt know I was listening to them question why the tupperware box was unopened!!!

I have had other issues with the school and as he isnt the type of boy to stand up and shout "I have no dinner", in fact I have just been looking into AS and was shocked at how many of the symptons sound like ds, he flaps his hands and rocks quite a lot as well as about 70% of the other symptons.

I am going to speak to HT about it as and will mention my concerns as you are right muppetgirl this does need addressing and yes as a parent we have to let go of our reins and let the school take over sometimes.
So perhaps volunteering wouldnt be a good idea.

thanks everyone

ps does anyone know anything about AS or any children that flap there hands, sorry if that sounds daft

[alfiemama]

Well plucked up courage and spoke to HT mentioned not happy about the situation she said he had taken old box in with him, but yes should have been picked up.

We also mentioned we had concerns and she said they had, but had to be careful, they have been monitoring him for aspergers since week 1, well this at least answers a lot of questions for me, we are going in for a meeting and they are getting someone to assess him, god its so hear breaking (sob) to think that my poor child hasnt quite been able to understand the things we have taught him, or chatted about.

does anyone know anything about this, as feel I need to know as much as poss

[Romy7]

alfiemama, post your q on the special needs topic (i'm rubbish at links). lots of people who know lots about aspergers. we aren't scary, honest

[ThingOne]

I know nothing about AS but I do know that my son's reception class has been supervised by at lunch by his teacher and TA so far. At some point they will drop out and leave it to the lunchtime staff. They have been asking children to eat their sandwiches first while not making them eat all of it. All packaging and uneaten food/drink is returned in the lunchbag so you can see exactly what your child has eaten.