Absolutely terrified and out of my depth

[dextersdad]

Hi

I haven't posted before and I was wondering if anyone could help. My son has just turned 3 (born August 8), he currently goes to nursery (not affiliated to any school) 3 days a week. As he is an August baby, he needs to start school when he's 4 (next August) and we need to apply by January 23. My question is does he really have to start school at 4? It seems so young. He is a bundle of fun and a lovely kid but he's nowhere near ready for a structured school of any kind. Who can I talk to? And what can I do? I know I sound clueless, but any help would be veyr gratefully received. Thanks

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I don't think he has to start school until the term in which he will be 5. So, I suppose he could miss out most of reception.

Your local council website will give you the admissions criteria but I believe that education is only compulsory from age 5. This would mean however that your son will miss reception year which might not be best for him either. Lots of children start at age 4, some just days after they turn 4. Schools take this into consideration. Perhaps make an appointment to speak to the head of your local infant school for reassurance.

You know, reception isn't really formal school in a way you might envisage it - all desks and barky teachers it is learning through play, with toys and lego and home corners and everything. Teachers are used to four year olds in their classroom. I don't think it is at all idea, starting school when you have only just turned four, but it almost certainly won't be anything like as bad as you think.

Can he not just start the September after he is 5 as he won't be 5 in the school year before iyswim?

Some of the younger kids in my son's class do half days. I don't think any of them have deferred entry even though it is an option. Personally I wouldn't miss out reception altogether. The most important thing is that he finds a good set of friends and it will be more difficult if friendship groups are already settled and he is young.

Whatever you end up doing, you need to apply in Jan and make sure you get a place at the school you want (not always as easy as you think, especially if you apply late). I am sure you can work out the fine detail with the school nearer the time.

It might be worth going into a couple of schools and looking at the Reception classes. (when we took dd aged 4 she kicked and screamed all the way home because she wanted to stay and play with all the toys)

Technically, with an August birthday he could miss out Reception entirely and start in Year 1 when he was five. But if you opt for that then

(a) The "good" (i.e. popular) schools will probably be full, so you will only get a place in the "less good" (unpopular) schools and are unlikely to have much choice.

(b) Rather than getting a relatively gentle introduction to school in Reception he'd be catapulted into Year 1 in the middle of a class who all know each other and know how school works.

You may be better off trying to find a school that you think will suit him and his personality. Or, if it's a practical option for you, you could home-educate (either permanently, or throughout his primary years, or until he reaches 7/8 and you feel happier about his starting school).

Also bear in mind they change hugely in the space of months at your son's age; most likely he will be fine and a good teacher will be mindful of his age in the class. However i understand your concerns; ds1 is a July birthday and certainly wasn't notably mature and settled in the early years of school !

arrange to go round some of the local schools, and try and speak to head or reception teacher and explain your concerns about him being youngest in the year. You will hopefully be pleasantly surprised - i.e. that schools will be used to this and will explain that reception is learning through play so shouldn't be too strict an environment.

You will probably find he copes fine. I have had two August DSs-one was born on 29th! Both have done extremely well and not been at a disadvantage at all. Reception is really just about playing anyway-not that different from nursery.

This subject terrifies me. DD2 will be 4 25 August so will do two terms of mornings only. But what scares me is that DD1 was able to write her name, know the alphabet etc, but DD2 can barely recognise her own name. Also being the second and last child (hopefully) is terribly babied by us all. She can barely walk 20 metres without begging to be carried. Taking DD1 to school this morning, she wouldn't even walk from car to class room. I asked her what will happen when she goes to school next year, she told me it didn't matter because teacher would carry her

My DD is the youngest in her school, she was 4 in July. She enjoys the company more than anything else. I was very worried about her starting in a class with 5 yos, but she gets along fine with the other children and is having fun.

The teachers in my Dds school are well used to having all kinds of children in the class - for example one of the children has SN, with poor gross motor skills and one of the children has Down Syndrome, and there is also one very bright kid, with a reading age of 12, so my Dd fits in very well!

It's not so bad really - the Victorian ideals - children should be seen and not heard - are long gone from schools now, and all I hear about my DD's school is the games they play, the projects they do, and her friends!

tThere are some good ideas on this thread - most school heads and teachers are available to talk with parents and to find the best fit for the students and their families.

drivin - don't worry about the reading/letters - IME schools expect to teach it from scratch anyway. Also re:carrying - if she's still that lazy by the time she starts school - she should soon snap out of it when she sees the other kids are not being carried.

My DD is also the youngest in the school at the moment, but she loves it. It's not totally differant to nursery for and she gets to stay all day which is a bonus to her, they haven't started learning phonics yet and just seem to be concentrating on playing and building friendships at the moment.

Won't he start in the January anyway, so he'll be 4.5? They have 2 entry times into Reception round here- Sept and January for those born later in the year.Everyone applies at the same time, but entry is staggered.

OK, it all depends on the child, etc, etc, some are ready but many, particularly boys, just aren't, and there is not a single person in education who says they all are. This is a real real problem. If yours turns out to be one of the 20% of boys (taking a guess at the percentage) who really suffer, then it's a huge problem

What is your LEA? In Bradford and Leeds LEAs, you can defer for a year and start reception the following year.

In March 2008, Bradford tried to remove the deferral right by moving to the systems used by other LEAs where children who have deferred for a year are placed straight in Year 1. I turned up at the executive council meeting and thankfully the plan was withdrawn. I can quote some of the letters of objection from local heads if you want but you may find it upsetting as the letters use language like "cruel and inappropriate".

You need to know that Sir Jim Rose has been briefed to write a report on the primary school system. An explicit part of his brief from the Government was to advise on "more flexible" options for school entry for summer-borns." The interim report is due out in the next week or so, the final report in spring.

good luck. but it may be that he seems so young because he simply is too young.

You need to remember that reception isn't really formal school and that he would probably be able to attend part -time (e.g. 3 hours a day) until the January after he was 4.

Same situation. As Gunpowder said, you might find yourself being left with one of the less popular schools. It would probably mean you have less choice about which school he attends.

So we did the thing: turned 4, catapulted into a full day at school -- to my son's profound detriment.

What I wish I had done at the time was:

firstly -- yes, get into the school you want at 4 for reception.

secondly -- see if it suits and how tired he gets

thirdly -- investigate exactly what they can do if you take your child out for odd days and afternoons

fourthly -- if it was too much for him , discuss with teacher and get half days until say, half term or Christmas

fifthly -- even if the school is extremely sniffy and cross about it, make sure your child has plenty of afternoons and full days off, possibly in some kind of routine to help your child, but if not then when you detect he particularly needs it

sixthly -- don't ever ever ever think your child ought to be doing x or settling like y or reading like z just because the others in the class are. To my shame I was sucked into this, my fault totally, and my son picked up that feeling and it was just awful. And never make him do reception homework if they give it and he doesn't want to.

seventhly and alternatively -- fight to start reception at aged 5

On the other hand, he might love it -- you never know. Some do.

I told the reception teacher with my summer borns that the only thing I was concerned with was that my children were happy & co-operative in class & I was not concerned about any academic achievement at this point in time. Reception is increasingly play based and provided there is no pressure from you on the academic side then he should see it as an extension of pre-school.

Some schools are more play-based in reception than others but unfortunately this can make entry into Year 1 even harder....

In Scotland there is more flexibility - it is normal to choose between two year-groups if you are near the end of the school year.

In a town like mine, with four good schools, I would rate the issue of WHEN DS2 went to school as approximately ten times more important than WHERE he goes to school. Even the best schools get places coming up at odd times through the year.

I'm over the final hurdle for my DS2 (3.2, late August born, very late talker) and have one foot over the finishing line: school nursery and reception teacher both actively encourage my decision to defer and Bradford doesn't seem to be threatening to withdraw the right to place year-deferreds into reception. (Why would they? Why would they want to provide all the extra support he'd need if he went in Sept 2009?) Once both feet are over that finishing line, I will be writing a long and detailed thankyou letter to Bradford Council. Otherwise, I would put him in school nursery for another year and (in all seriousness) consider bringing a claim under the Human Rights Act. The Eduation Act says children must be educated from 5. I believe English children aged 5.0 should therefore have a right to join the year-group starting their education.

Good to read that there are other parents out there who have contacted their MP. Parents of August-borns do not form a natural community unlike, say, faith groups, so it is hard when you feel you are the only one speaking up about an absurd situation.