I have a meeting booked with my ds 9 (aged 9 ) teacher after SChool today to discuss a rather delicate issue and would be grateful for advice on how exactly it should be raised.
The issue is this. My ds has formed what i view as an inappropriate friendship in the class. this is always a tricky issue to raise as one is automatically doing down another child by raising it but I can't help but raise it having tried many stratedgies to try and minimise the effect this friendship is haivng on ds.
The friend is inappropriate because he does not like school - in fact he actively dislikes it. this is because he does not achieve well at school - he does not have special needs as such - just is not a high achiever naturally and comes from a family where no encouragement is given and the boy is treated more as a nuisance and to be farmed out to friends as much as possible - not much investment in teh boy by family has lead to a boy deprived of self esteeem and self respect and therefore lack of repsect for others.
he actively encourages my ds to view himself negatively - i.e. "we'll never do well in this test, we never manage anything right in school, we hate school" etc. Along wiht this his style of dress ( within the uniform ) is messy and dirty and he does not play sport or play anything constructively really. He also eats vast amounts and encourages my ds to do so ( e.g. " we are only good at eating, see if you can get that boy to give you his lunch etc". )
My ds is an easy target. He is sweet, ultra sensitive and happy go lucky. He has a histroy of tricky academics - he ( this is all about my ds now) had meningitis at 10 days old which lead to delayed development but now ds ( at least before this boy came into the picture) was above average in teh class and rising. He always tries to complete the homework and do his assignments. Ds always says that if he doesn't play wiht this boy no-one will. Ds has put on weight recently - he seems to have azquired this boy's attitude towards eating which is that it is a hobby and all that ds and the boy can do correctly. He has also acquired a very negative attitude towards school directly mouthingn this boy's words on the subject an announcing to all that he hates school which is painful to hear. He has also been in trouble with the headmistress for talking during lessons and has a dismisive attitude when I tried to talk to him about it -all things which were not on his radar before.
His school reports before this boy were glowing wiht teachers saying what a delightful child he is ( and he is ) and a pleasure to teach. Now he is changing and I am feeling lost as to what to do. His old friends in teh class don't talk to him as much and he doesn't play footie or sport at break times as this boy doesn't like those games and tells my ds he isnt good at that and should sit and do nothing wiht him.
I need to tackle this wiht the teacher to try to get her input on how to reduce this boy's influence but don't want to come across aas downright nasty or for it to come across wrong.
Please hlep.